busy busy busy.

ytd was a total disaster.
total.
damn.
why can't everyone just cooperate?

if u all think u are ready, then you are wrong. you are ready doesn't mean that we are ready. we are all past of it. how can you all just went off like this?! WTF. eveyone is supposed to be here, to help each other. we haven even get tgt as a whole group. how sure are you that we are ready? SUDDENLY I FEEL THAT THE GUYS ARE RIGHT MAN.

12 nov:
still went to school
lol

13nov:
dint go to school.
sick
but went to the indian embassy with anjh
lots of obstacles
but fun luhs xD
in the end,
everything settled (; -sobs-
but i have a flu now!!!


14nov:
nth to do
lol
but arnd 5, 6pm
went to play badminton with mc,yvonne,junhao n his fren
went off early
to yipo house
minjia's bdae (:
and also it's joonhui's bdae

HAPY BELATED BDAE LOVE :D

15nov:
went to shar house early in the morning
for shanghai ppt
joked alot
lmao
watched 9:56 again
still got freak the shits out
till i dun even dare go toilet
n take the lift = =
went home @ arnd 9pm -0-

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MINJIA AHYI xD

16nov:
now at star
hope everything pays off
byeeeeee



FUCKER


11 nov:
lesson was pretty fun (:
mdm priya ms jay ~
hahaha.
physics test..
lol
i dun expect even 1 mark
hahaha
the tour agency came.
n i was looking at the itinerary
n thinking
is it worth $400++
lol

today:
fever fever
bt feeling much better
gg school later i guess
for star
see first bahs.


i lost. but u haven't. continue running. i will be behind you.

9 nov:
wad did we do?
lol
i forgot!
oh ya, went to view flats with tianxiao (:
it was -twoot-
teban better uh? xP
thn went hommy to study chinese -fights-

10nov:
O LVL CHINESE!
well.. it is bad.
well.. it is gud.
lol.
idk wth im toking
neutral (:
bt we went to jess hse to watch movie AGAIN
lols
9:56
this one is really scary
dint scream for the previous movie
but for this...
i screamed like...
lol.
nice show (;
but it gives me shivers even as im typing now.
lols.

11nov:
HAPPY BRITHDAY SHARLENE HUNNIE <3

gg off to school. cya (;


how are you?

5 nov, thurs:
rainy day
aft sch went to eat porridge wif shrnl n tx (:
walked there along wih anjh n them
n got ourselves freaking soaked
hahaha

6nov, fri:
mdm priya dint come
released early :D
wenxin, ah bee, anjh n wanying came to my hse to watch movie (:
ALONE - twinny story. much muh btr thn ONE MISSED CALL
CINDERELLA - plastic surgery =X damn confusing movie. but also quite sad ;(
thn wy n anjh went off first
wenxin and ah bee stayed bhind 2 watch jap version of boys over flower.

7nov, sat:
open house
no offence but..
it's a total failure
lol

today:
boring day man
-yawns-
gg study for o's
im off hunnies (:

u have no right to even think about it.

3 nov:
went to jp with pat,jess,wy,tx and el :D
ate at long john silver (:
yummy
me, el, tx n pat played a game in action city
really lame man.
but coool (:

today:
skipped ms tang's lesson
cuz ______
bt lucky ms tang understand (:
i love her!
n crazy nat too xDD
had a wonderful chat with mummy lim (ms lim) 2day
salute to MASTER LIM :P


i pray every now and then tt everything will turn out fine for you. i hope it does..

p6 star tea reception on sat
ic for aptitude test
i scored 19/20 :D
the water games was -twoot-
why panel room?
aft tt went to mac with shrnl tx ch junhao mc jessy n yy :D
thn went to shrnl hse (: lol. watched porno. hehe.
the gathering was superb! hahaha. happy belated bdae candice!


now at star. boring.


how are you feeling?

DINT GET THE CHANCE TO POST WHOLE MONTH SO I WROTE IT ALL DOWN IN MY PHONE. GOOD LUCK IF YA GG TO READ IT ALL (:

OCT 3:
Yo! XD happy autumn festival! XD Hahaha. Went down to the garden to celebrate with JOONHUI, XUENI, JUNHAO, YVONNE, and dearest EETING. Had fun (: Lols. Junhao left early. Thn we sent joonhui back home. And went up her house. LOL. I saw some really cute pictures can! Relished the happy memories we had. MSG cake xP Hahaha. I know thn know joonhui hate venus -Ö- so Omg. Hais.. I miss venus. I really do :( Thn sent xueni home too. And lastly, yvonne ^^

OCT 5,
mon:
boring day, as usual -.-"

got back my compos -Ö- was total shit to me. The marks =X zz. My expressions!!! Tsk!!! Eemin ah! Buck up la. Lols.

Lol. I alr start planning for post-exam activities le xDDD Hahaha. Clique gathering and class chalet!

I still can't finish ss :((

i tink i have let go of this obstacle? I tink yes. All of a sudden, i feel peaceful.. I feel happy. Still, i will continue to harbour hope (: Haha. Yea!

for the first tym in my life, i feel that oreo crush is a total disappointment -Ö- LOL. I shall stick back to honey green tea Nxt tym (:

EOY coming is like officially approaching -Ö-

OCT 6,
tues:
got back prelim results paper 2 (: Lol. Did quite badly as quoted by KOKWEIQUAN! Zzz. How can such bad ppl exist in the world? =X anw, not sad at all xD though i was rather angry @ first. But i tink it was quite immature. Haha. So i cheered up! Come on. I am a human k! Sure to fail sometimes.. Lol. Though i cheer up partly cuz i added 4 more marks la XP Hahaha.

After school went to study with yiying nat and wanying (: but dint study much cuz we left early :X Lol. I go home did study ok!

My wish will come true. :DDDD

very contented with my current life, though it is hard.

OCT 7,
Wed:
After school went to eat porridge with wy, nat and jess (: nicey nicey! Lol. Natalie is a crazy girl!!! Hahaha. A girl with too many defunctioning brains xDDDD that's why she very slow de (: LOL. I pity her (:

Thn we went to mac to study. Saw drey and Tianxiao (: Haha. Study a while thn go home lo.

I am so freaking tired -.-" hope my efforts will pay off in tomorrow's compo (:

IT'S WAR TIME.

OCT 8,
thurs:
first paper -Ö- english! And the compo i prepared came into use xD Haha. I tot i might jus cry cuz the story is srsly very touching... Paper 2 was a killer though =X Haha. Nvm la. Rather satisfied. I happy can le (:

went to pat's house to study. Haha. It was very effective! Surprisingly too. Haha. Managed to learn while having fun (: this is life man!! But thn didn't touch on e math =X die.

OCT 9,
Fri:
i am prepared to die for e math. I let down Mr faydzully -sobs sobs- Hais.. Hais.. Hais! Wonder what will happen to me for paper 2 when i can't even make it for paper one. Ugh. Ss was well....hmmm... Neutral! Essay i like it xD totally what i prepared for. But SBQ... Êhh, did quite badly. Zz. Time constraint played a big factor lo! But Anw, It's over and i feel happy too (:

went to mac to study with Tianxiao and yiying today after exam (: studied quite a lot. Was spamming the post-it notes with everything that i can remember about chem (: Thn homesweethome.

Slacked for a long time! Lol. Started studying at only 10:30 = = and i completed 7 chapters of CHEMISTRY in one day! Though i slept at only 1:45am =XXX but it was worthwhile. Feel a great sense of achievement (:

WAY TO GO! <3>
OCT 10,
sat:
finished off chem. Or rather i am left with metals =X sian! LOL.

I am so freaking tired!!!

I get very distracted easily DDDD: Hais.. I didn't touch on physics yet. Ugh. I feel so..incompetent. Whatever. But i believe i can finish it! (:

i saw a few kids, looks like primary school children (: n they look like they were going home from tuition class. And i tot of SK. Can't think of any one else o.O thn a boy was chased by another. And i was reminded of something. The day that my life started a new phase (: and i just can't stop smiling when i look back (:

studied physics till 2:30am today. Lol. I abit sot sot le. Haha. But still got a few more chapters to go! Lalala.

i love myself. That's all i need.

OCT 11,
Sun:
went to bukit purmei(radin mas pri school there) to eat LOR MEE in the morning xD yummy yummy! Hahaha.

Then we went to labrador park -Ö- Lol. Took lot lot pictures xD we went there so many times.. But why dint we see that side of labrador park? O.o so cool man! LOL.

Had dinner at popo's house. I got a new name :DDD WEILING! / XIAOMIN! Hahaha. So cute man the children.

Looking forward to 31st october barbecue xD it'd be real fun can! Hahaha. So high rite now XP

OCT 12,
Mon:
chem paper was..well..neutral xD LOL. I shall no bear too much hopes on it

physics was total teh sucks. -.-" totally. Damn. It's like no difference whether you study anot. LOL.

went to pat house randomly. But efficiency was really low.. Too too too tired. Jus close my eyes and i 'll fall asleep -Ö-

OCT 13,
tues:
ugh. History. No time to write!!!

E math paper 2. It was quite..quite..er, easier thn paper one -Ö- LOL. I a bit sot le. Hahaha. I tot it 'd be a killer? Anw, dun dare to carry much hope. I'm scared i am jus living in self-denial ...

Went to mac with jess, kevin and grace (: but went back home soon. Went back home to sleep immediately. Prepared to study through the night. Hence, i slept first. Better thn not sleeping right? LOL.

OCT 14,
Wed:
Omg. I really dint sleep. -Ö-
yet for bio, i really did it v.badly. It was soo easy.. Very. But.. Wonder what i had been studying for the prev night.. Ugh.

After school went to Tianxiao's house to eat. Her mum's cooking is superb!!! XD Hahaha. Unlike Tianxiao =PLOL. Thn headed for the library! (: kaiqin came at around 5pm. Lol.

And she went to my house! Lol. Random random.

I lost my goal..

OCT 15,
Thurs:
i already prepared to fail a math.. Hais.. Really.. I feel so er.. Empty. But thn, i didn't put in my best effort.. So i had only myself to blame. The consequences, i had to bear.

Went back home immediately....

Eemin ah eemin. What are you doing? You should have known. Talk is cheap. Really cheap.. And now too bad for the overwhelming disappointment you feel. It's your own fault. Serves you right. Fuck. *deepest apologies for the profanity*

I'm so disappointed in you. This is like the don't-know-how-many times you had raised me up but to let me fall pathetically always with your promise..

Lol. Was browsing thru the free movies i can see for the month in MIO. Thn i say tis: FINAL BOYS OVER FLOWER. :DDDD selected it. Thn.. I was like .... -twooot- japanese version. LOL. The actors are so.... -twooot- Haha. But the lead actress Damn pretty. Haha. Thn i watched it. Lol. Last episode.

Dint finish it. Cuz Tianxiao called me (: n went down to meet up. And end up she in my house. Lolol. Teached her chem! Hahaha. I am so smart -Ö- Lolol. Thn kaiqin came up to get Sth. Chatted for a lil while. (:

OCT 16,
fri:
MOMMY! IT'S OVER ;D

Haha. Exams are finally over (: Hahaha. Feel so relaxed xD

after school random random went bugis with SHARLENE ANJHANA TIANXIAO JESSY :DDDD went to shop shop for Anjhana's celebration (: thn we went to watch 50 days of summer at iluma. So sweet larhss! Haha. Summer! Autumn! Hahaha. Super happy can.
We must hang out more often (: and the sleepover!!


Though it started out to be rather sian, but soon, we hyper le! :D Lalala.

OCT 17
Sat:
went to boon lay market to eat brunch. Lol. I saw kf (: once again, i feel motivated!

Slacked whole day. Ahh. Exams over now, so slacker la. Leading a pig life =X

OCT 18
sun:
went to play badminton with mc and yvonne (:

OCT 19
mon:
bad mood.

OCT 21
Wed:
got back results. Lousy but i expected it :)

OCT 20 - OCT 23
Tues - fri:
AEM at ngee ann poly. Kinda boring, though i like hands on. And Oso, guilty-ly, it seems a bit funny Abt jack that clique joking around with their GOOD fren. Lol. Lazy post everything. Sian.

OCT 24
Sat:
went down to play badminton with XUENI and YVONNE, initially. But xueni didn't turn up so didn't play cuz no shutter cock. Mum found out i brought eeting down and scolded me like shit hell. F***. I'm really angry. Cuz i risked myself gg down when in the end she never come cuz she.. Ugh. Thn i got lashed for nothing.

Deepest Apologies for profanities used.

OCT 26
Monday:
last day of the course. Lol. WE (Wanying n Eemin) got third for the bull's eye competition XDDD lol. Would i miss the days? *bitter laugh* ya, i 'll. The overwhelming loneliness..

New frens. Everyone getting new frens. I didn't expect this to come. How Naive i am.

OCT 27
tues:
went back to school -O- lol. boring luhs. nth much.

OCT 28
wed:
preparation of war games xDDDDD way to go!

OCT29
thurs:
freaking emo cuz u dint get to play in the war game. really. freak. ugh. got the best outfit class LOL.

today:
and here i am, in jessica's house blogging :D LOLOLOLOL. watched ONE MISSED CALL. the ending was -twoot- = =. n now i am watching MY BEST FREN'S GIRL (:

Oh dear. My eyerings are so apparent -Ö- ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I wanna sleep!! *screams.*
Body
thurs:
was fresh today xD Lols. Though still a bit raw la. =x Haha.

Chem test was.... Well... I should say neutral? Or mayb more to negative side? -.-" but Thn, It's ok :D buck up for EOY thn. Hahaha.

EOY.. I haven't start studying yet !>.
After school, really lonely.. Very.. But it set me thinkin a lot.. And i jus feel that life is much more peaceful. Haha. I always think this way just that the realisation was especially strong today (: all i need is myself. Lol. Sarcastic but true anw.

EOY! Lol. Ignore that exclamation mark, cuz i don't feel the same way too XP is tis bad or good? Bad as in i m not worried about EOY. Good as in i am not stressing myself xD Haha. See the irony? I guessed it is good! xDD Haha. I am just crapping la!

i can do it! Jiayou!

Fri:
yohoo! LOL. Generally fine day (: Haha. I noe how to do a math xDDD super happy. Can you believe it?! -Ö- a math! A math! A math! Haha. But Tmr i need go back school for a math remedial -.-" to spam NIE teachers with qns. Lame la.

We wanted celebrate natalie's bdae. Everything was ready.. Bought the cake blah blah. But thn.. NATALIE NEVER COME!!! Haha. In the end, video called her and sang bdae song, blew the candles, made a wish and we ate the cake xD Haha. Saved some for nat and passed it to sandra (: Lalala.

(pics)

I am not myself today.. Ugh.

EOY! Lol. I'm still not urgent about it. But i got study la, i guess. Hahas.

BFG! My only comfort of the day.. Saw BFG anw:DDDD so happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Hahas. Motivated! xDDD Haha. Lalala. Anjhana! Don't be jealous XP

Today's study group was a success (: whoo. I am so high ^^

奇迹会降临的..

Sat:
decided not to go to school. Hehe. Bt i 'll study de! Rest assure xD Hahas. Wondering why some people have to fake it? They did study, yet they say they didn't. They are smart,-obviously from their results- yet they claim is jus lucky or only for that particular sub. Is it that hard to admit? It's gettin on my nerves man.

Slacked my day off =x stupid __. I wanted to study de, Thn __ chose the wrong time to call me -.-" Thn i no mood to study le. Not no mood la, just random random dun wan study lo. Lol. Still put the blame on __. Haha. He disturbed my Êhh centre of attention!

Burning. Raging. I like it.

Sun:
went to NTU to eat xD i miss the ice-cream! And miraculously, it was open! During day time! -Ö- normally is only available at night! Haha. But the serving become very small le =( still it was super delicious *smack lips*

went to study with kaiqin again at mac (: Haha. A math-ing again. Lolol. Gg intensive physics Nxt tym i tink. Once again, i saw jiayi and ziqi they all (: and i saw someone else too. I guess. Thn i become very panicky -.-" zz. All maths calculation wrong =x

i saw stella xD (: Haha. At my house there de coffee shop.

main goal in life now: to make other people happy (:

Mon:
Body Took 246 to school. And i sat at the lower deck, surprisingly.

Ok. This is totally random -Ö- if i had money to reply some messages, i 'd reply these few:
to him, dun say sorry. And i oso won't accept. Cuz the hurt is done.
To her, Haha. Welcome honey (: love you <3
to her, i Dunnie u to change. Jus be happy..

Today a math lesson was as funny as ever xD LOL. Mr sam super joker larhss -Ö- Hahaha. He started the lesson with a 'thank...'' Haha. Thank you class xD Lolol.

Bio lesson Oso funny. Cuz got miss lim and maizheng ma. LOL.

After school went to study with kaiqin and wy (: couldn't absorb anything.. Hais. Next tym wan go fav hangout le =P Hahas. I srsly can't study at taman mac >< and i need to study with music too. So dependent. Hate it =X

i was super touched *teary teary* cuz Tianxiao invited me to her house *sobs* thank you xDDD

it isn't time for all this now girl. Please weigh your priorities. It is still not too late to wake up. And when you're ready, i am here to race towards the finishing line with you (: jiayou.

I know you love me too much to hurt me. It hurts me to see you in this state. So, please, please, wake up from your trance now..

Tues:
ran 2.4 for PE today -.-" Wth. Lol. But i guess it did me some good when it comes to height and weight XP Hahaha. I lost one kilo. *jumps screams* :DDD so sad dint get to play any games :( but Thn Nxt week still got pe i tink? Yay!

Mdm priya dint come today. Nevertheless, she 'd never forget Abt us. Lol. Left an essay for us to do. Secret. Tot of an idea, dint have tym to write it down. Haha. Real joke la. Only few ppl handed up. And ended the lesson with laughter (:

after school, went to mac with kaiqin and yiying (: did a few a math qns only. But it was worth it. At least we did some qns ok. Haha. Syafie and grace were there too. Asked them one particular qns. Caught them pulling their hair in frustration xD Hahaha. Super cute la them.

SYAFIE IS OBSESSED WITH HIMSELF. HAHAHA.

Oh ya! Suddenly remember Abt Sth that PATRICIA mentioned at morning assembly. Haha. Scandals Abt some secondary school. ROARS. Anw, what can you expect for that school? Lol. Eee

I noe i will get thru it. I will. Because you are here for me..

Right now, i don't wish to tell anyone anything. Sorry, cuz It's my way of protecting myself.

Wed:
was looking forward to chinese for our prelim papers, but that @%*! teacher dint give back as promised. Wth. Super Sian de can. But she say she gg give us back Tmr :D hope she keeps good her promise =(

my chem results sucks. WTF. Ugh. A whole shit of careless mistakes. Ugh. Nvm. Stop finding excuses. I am incapable. I feel like slapping ppl man. Please la, if you have the capability, Thn don't show off that u don't know anything. This attitude srsly irks me. *pukes x infinity*

after school oral. I swore i did prepare myself. But i started stuttering when i talked. Ahhh! I wasn't like this before. What happened?!

thurs:
lazy update =x lols.

i am really tired. but i am really happy :D

tues:
met jianie in the morning (: and random random commmented on our school buses in rulang xD haha. i take number 6!!! XDDDD

nothing extraordinary happened. VERY SIAN LA. oh yea. PE. we bball-ed like rugby-ed. lol. i shd recommend a rugby gals team to jessy XP siew bee in my team -0- tt's y we loss pathetically. == ROFLMAO

after shcool wen mac study with yy for bio. (: really did mugged ok! haha. thn off to aunt's house. ((((:

i dropped malay... i am happy (: and it's enuf. i saw a mum screaming and hitting her small boy in the public. everyone was looling at her. i feel like slapping her =X i was like so angry lo. but i had no right to do anything.. wonder how the boy is now??

today(:
extra extra tired...

one day.... i am waiting... for that day.

mugging hard for chem today ((::: hahas.

BFG <33

AIYER... so lazy update my blog =x

dint do my homework -O- how?!! hahas.

eoy coming le. everyone JIAYOUS! (:

some people just don't care what others feel.

people like them. i am speechless.

selfish.

should i just post their name?

ugh.

back! :D

finally, finshed sabb! is this happy or sad? gg back school nxt week =X is tis happy or sad? lol. guess i would miss the food, the 1 r break blah blah. haha.

i am so damn tired for the past week! caught up with all my sleeping day. lols. gg to do hmw i guess. boring life.

there's a new member in my section !!!!!! *jum jump* *claps claps* *cheers cheers* haha.n it is a boy-O- the only one. haha. a super cute junior which i suspect he n vanessa is... haha. anw, welcome GUOYI :)))

what happened ytd was the last straw. sad t0 say, it was my cca who drove me to the corners. tnx to my cca, i found a new way of survival : HATRED. how great it is uh? tsk, i can't believe i hate cello right now. ugh, whatever.

I AM POSTING THIS HERE SO AS TO INFORM MY FRENS I AM CHANGING, SO DUN BE SURPRISED.

i hate JSS.

Well, a pretty fine day. lol

twisted my butt on the stool during the lesson (trying to catch notes n watch the teacher) for n times. End product: polished stool (: LMAO

the guys were squashing bananas like they nvr do so before. Haha. Tt totally ruined my appetite for lunch =X joke.

basically, today's program was just a repetition of what we did during star last year with a different scenario. Lol.

I hate jasper loh ding hui. Must he say till so ... Those ppl from tt old clique, they are all of the same kind isn't it? Insulted by three of tt old clique members. Freak.

Oh ya oh ya! I forgot to post this! I went out with my sister and yvonne lim shu bin on saturday night XDDDD Haha. Was late as usual ~ i overslept! Lols.

God decided to have mercy on me once more.
He decided to relive my pain once more.
He saw it.
And as always,
he bestowed a rain for me.
how i miss the smell of rain
the color of lightningand
the roars of the thunder

I stood by the window in the middle of the night.
And listened to the rain.
Smell it abd
watch it grow.
Along with 'kiss the rain' playing by my ears.
I dint want to sleep.
Finally,
the rain was harsh enuf
lightning powerful
thunder fierce

thn i switched songs. To 'one minute one second'. And kept replaying it. Just bear to pause the song.

I am not sad, or emoing. I am at peace (:

i hope it would be worth it (:

i shall end my post with a quote again :]



Got back e math result XD full mark! I am so high! Whee! i feel glad (: Tt's a temporary solace for me. Haha. overall, our class did pretty well. keep up thegood work guys :]

Nxt week gg hwachong! -Ö- Lols. I feel excited! Haha. I being lame. Anw, weiquan said he will be really happy if we not there :( zz. Lols. Whatever la. Gg see shuai ge. A common thought shared with mrs ng :D LOL. Real joke seh.

Will i miss school? Haha. Lols. A math lesson was a real joke man. Went to com lab. A lot ppl log onto facebook. Hahaha. Thn began fighting for mdm priya. ROFLMAO. Thn oso snatch yongyang n junhao. Hahas. Com lab lesson not effective de la. Still, it was fun xDDDD

both lang compo test was a total failure. Totally. Hell of a shit. -.-" Anw, i am not gg to choose that qns for chinese compo. So who gives a damn? Lols.

I am alrightyy now! XD Lols. Tnx arhx to everyone who asked me to cheer up!

'LOOK FORWARD TO A BETTER TOMORROW- weiquan (he aint a saint though) Haha. Idk why i quoted what he says. No one else xP

i shall end my post with a quote (: more intellectual thn weiquan de. Hehe.



Got back my a math results. 19/35 i.. Am speechless. I guess i dint put in effort.
i feel..hurt. disappointed. cheated.
He smsed me! I am supposed to feel super high. Higher than when - smsed me. But, i dint feel anything. Nth. And i accidentally deleted the msg. Tt's how dejected i am. What i have been wishin for happened, yet i felt nth. I felt Nth except for the lethargy burning within me.
questioning the true meaing of frens..
I wanna go cambodia. I wanna help those kids. Wondering what would i have done with i were those kids. I dun tink i could have taken it. I have no idea why i posted this. It was a realisation long ago. Just that i feel like posting it now. There's a burning desire in me to fly to cambodia right now. Siem reap, tonle sap. All these places. I want to bring a change to their lives. Is that possible?
substitute?
i hope i can do well for today's compo test n chinese compo test too >.< hais.
i hate it when poeple doubts my character. n it's not worth it to put in so much effort..
these days shall be of emo posts. sorry!

i will cheer up de :D

Did something crazyin fri. Woke up at 4:45am, washed up thn went to fetch Tianxiao thn we went to.......
PLAY BBALL! At tjcc. Haha. Shiok.

But we have a consequence to pay for though. Jus couldn't pay attention in class. Sleeping away xD

got back physics results -Ö- tt was really fast! Êhh, 19/30 =x bad. But Nvm! Nxt tym will improve!

After school, went to CO. Usual crap. Haha. I want to 考级！but too exp le :( Hais! Anw, i rather take abrahms. Heh..

After CO, me n Tianxiao went to the davincithegenius exhibition (: super super nice. Interesting. Totally awed man. There was so much things to see, yet that was like only a bit of davinci's work! Amazingly -Ö- found out the 25 secrets of monalisa. Haha. I fell in love with a painting, THE LAST SUPPER. the message was presented in a picturesque way. Though i aint a christian, but i like the hidden meaning behind it. There's still a lot, but still nth can be compared to the last supper! Muahahaha. Davinci is a left hander! Me too xD ok, that doesn't mean anything. Lols. But we do have another thing in common. Passion for music =) the golden ratio kept me laughin all the way. Cuz Tianxiao was like trying to measure me n herself. Haha. We are so imperfect man. But it's those imperfect that make us perfect isn't it? (:

can't wait to take back my common test results! Lalala.

I just can't find words to depict the emotions running through my body. 'Positive' shall sum them up i guess.

went to work ytd. damn busy. no tym use com :( haha. i m using now anw :P hahas. i was sitting on the MRT back home. thn a group of teens was talking at the top of their voices = = thn when i woke up. the aunty beside me asked me: "ears painful hor?" LOL. random ~

i give up. i am not studying anymore. sorry. i feel that i have let myself down. unforgivable sin. i gave up. sorry.

i hate it. i did something i hate today. to see if my predicton will be true. i will cry if it is.

crying for studies. fucker. i hate this eemin.

tears. free flowing. who can understand how i feel? passive.

i just can't explain this phenomenon..

i officially declare i am tired. just hope the day when i stop hoping won't come.

i am back!!!!

wellll... sunday's carnival was a success i guess? ;Phaha.

dint attend school for the whoile week except on monday! ;D cuz i got INFLUENZA LIKE ILLNESS. it was terrible. i just couldnt eat anything but i was really hungry =x n i couldnt drink plian water. forced to drink some weirdo poison ~ ugh. now i am back on plain water. :DDDDDDDD i was jumping like i got ehhh... straightAs. super happy. the power of plain water ;D haha.

but i am still having a headache n slight fever :( how am i gg to revise for common test...

mood: sad + disappointed + bored
current activity: blogging + blog shopping

hais.. hais.. hais.. i want to go out!!!!!!!!!!

i am updating on a weekly basis >.<

mondAY:
ehh. wad did we do arhx? lols. uneventful bahs.

tues:
went to jp with shalini, yiying, jess and chekhui and pat. met up with marlyna n she showed me some dresses. extraordinary. lets go for quality xD thn went to mac with yy,ch,shalini and jess. crapped. and shalini told us ab the maggot cum curry sauce story *pukez.

wed:
nth happened. boring life. lifeless. oh ya. sth happen! which reminds me eeling pat and wanying of corrupted teachers :P hahas.

thurs:
after school went to mac with pat jess n yy. joked like hell. n i dint realise i was using green pen for hmw!!! =.= yy tot it was my style ~ so she dint say anything. LOLS.

fri:
cca. that asshole. =.=" after tt went to meet up with xueni. and she bot joon hui and junhao along =.=" i feel like killing her man. lols. hAD dinner with them. bt din eat much >.<

i will prove this f***ing sch wrong. i hate it.. hate the way they condemns our lives. sooer or later, i will be setting fire on this school man. anw, it is not the f word i am refering.

关心 - 是你的习惯，那关心我呢？i am really really...

confused,sad and disappointed...

i lazy update sia! lols. oso,i can't update. hehe. ok la, updaing now..lols

monday:
skipped school :P apparently, i hit my fragile head against th corner of the table. i feel giidy, hence my parents decided that it was the best for my to stsy at home for further observation (: aww.. haha. buy my story? o.O lols. hehe. met up with wanying,kaiqin,gladys,victor and joby in the afternoon >.<

tues:
backed to school!! priya dint come o.O mon oso nv come. finished up hotel rwanda. shd have came to school on mon =.='' lols. rather nice ending n oso plot, from what i heard. after school went to jlp with kaiqin and victor xD in conclusion: adventurous day. LOL

wed:
hmm.. emo day :( her qns left me speechless man. still shaking even now. ugh. stupid larhhsss. badly affectd during listening compre .... hais.. after school went to mac with tianxiao and yiying :)))))))) haha. LMAO there. cuz tianxiao is a real joker man. hahas. yiying can testify for this. xDDDD

thurs:
presented bio. sian. fyi, tt's the worst presentation i had ever done. not that the ppt got anything wrong or wad, the problem lies with me :((( hais. hais. hais.

fri:
went to kfc with yiying,pat,jess,anjh,eeling and tianxiao ^-^ lalala.thn after that i went to meet xueni O.O to.... lols.

sat:
slacked my day off!!!! muahahaha. thn arnd 6pm yvonie smsed me, ask me to join her at je library. lols. i so steady can! i flew there. though i took one hour xP hahas. crapped with her. went to eat kfc again at jp. with her. n........ ROFLMAO. unbelievable. hahas. thn we met mum on the bus -0- haha. i owe you one gal. (:miss her like hell man. haha

tag replies:
kuanhong: okies xD

yiying: updated le!! (: haha.

alvin: i tag back le hor! lol

natalie: of cuz i am coming!! jess giving treat leis!! plus it's national day. i very patriotic de can :P did i just say tt? haha.

i would never want to get out of the dream.
i swear.
never.
i just want to be sunk in that beautiful plot.
forever and ever.
i knew i was dreamin
i srsly know.
yet,
i don't care.
sorry.
that's me.
even if it is just a dream,
a lie,
an illusion,
i choose to ignore the truth.
once the sweetest dream ever,
now heart-wrenching to look back at it.,

spare me.
i can't take such hopes.
cuz i know it's all part of my wishful thinking.

what's wrong?

tired. just for today. sorry.

tryong to get out of a shadow of doubt.

lazy to update -.-" but i missed blogging!! lols. contradicting. i am fine. lols.

mt o lvl oral was a total - . it was surprisingly.... surprising. crap.

i hate people who think they rule the world. i hate it when they act like it's their world. i simply loathe the way they destroy others lifes. why can't they just mind thier own business? you think you dominate ---? uh? please, narcissm may be good, but for you guys, you are shameless bunch of ppl. stop being arrogant. revolting. you don't have the right to look down on others. esp someone you don't even know. you think looks is all it counts? gosh, take a look at urself in the mirror. i may be ugly, bt i do noe how to judge ppl. and the following statement i am going to make is not just one-sided, lots of ppl agree with me too. you guys are super ugly. super. except of some of you. even so, all of you have a ugly heart. imcomparable even to a dog. don't act so high up. u noe how shameless you all can get. you do. what you guys did was way shameless than wad she did. feel like slapping you guys. ugh. wake up man!!! can't take it anymore. the way you all put down people. so, stop it. idk y i am wasting my tym on you guys, bt the victim invloved is my fren. a good fren. so, i would go to lengths to get back at you guys if you don't stop. i am capable of doing what i say. idc the consequences if you guys push me off the limit. and what i do, the consequences on you guys will be irreversible.

back to my life. lols. super sian de leis. i am working now, yet i did nth. -.-" lols.

you neve fail to make me smile.

as long as it believes.

Went out with tianxiao on sat. Whole day! -Ö- Lol. Hanged out at bugis (: bought some stuff. Haha. Had lots of fun xD lalala. Thn after tt we went to changi airport to meet the shanghai ppl. Super happy. Hahas. Bade farewell thn homesweethome ^-^

lazy post pic sia. LOL.

will post more pics nxt tym. all in my camera. lazy upload. hehe

happilyy ever after

long tym no update le. no tym -.-" i shall saa tis is an eventful week xD


monday:
went to swensen's to celebrate wanying birthday with vic, cal, kaiqin and wanying (: haha. super fun. though i burnt my pocket. haha.

tues/wed:
nth happen i tink.

thursay n friday:
Lol. Shanghai ppl came to our sch on thurs. Super sudden can. Thn i got a buddy xD Haha. Her name is xinyi (: first day spent tym wif them for less thn an hour :( so goddamn sad man. Thn second day at first supposedly onli one hour, but Thn me marlyna pat tianxiao Anjh got choosen to go jlp with them xD Haha. No words can describe my feeling thn. Super(x infinity) happy. Haha. Thn after tt, they went to eat a $250 meal. Me yiying n tianxiao waited for them cuz we holding to the alumni room key. Thn we said our farewell to them. Aww so sad. Haish.. Haha. Still, i managed to give the presents =) Hehe. Marlyna's partner super cute, danning (: Haha. Still got wy's buddy like boys over flowers's female lead. Haha. Tianjiao (: n Anjh's buddy, liru. (: still got many many more! XD LOL. LOL. LOL. Can't wait for november ^-^


life can't be any better (:




went to town with frens ytd (: lols. gossiped like hell. shh. haha. abit sian la. but the later part cheered me up. lols. lucky pat was there to save my day xP hehe.

i hvn done my hmw yet. shit.

neer ending happy days uh? xD

ahhh..sch's reopening. lol. sad. happy?whatever. just get the semester over and ov hols is here :D lol. i am thinking way too far. but time really flies (:

oh well, i really waste my hols. -.- anw, its my choice (: bt didnt realy waste it. its a memorable one in fact ^-^ fond memories of STAR CAMP!! NUS CCC CAMP! MSIA TRIP :D haha. awww... really miss y camp mates ~ esp my cousin. jkjk. hahas.

oh well... enjoy the last day of hols frens :)

Whoa. I still Hvn start on my hmw yet. Rly slackin my days off sia. Hehe. Nvm la. I still have tym xD Haha.

Obviously by coming up with tt excuse, u can do wrong things wif a clear conscience. You jolly well noe tt she's not the reason. Can't believe u r so selfish. Or mayb i understand u. But can't u be more understanding? U r gg to pay a heavy price for wad u did! Let tis be a lesson for you gal. You are at fault tis tym. Do u noe u might drove him to the end of his tether? Haish. U Shd Hv been more mature. Can't believe u did tt. Hope u can take in my words. Sorry, kind of scolding u. But jus telling u the truth..

Slacking my day off today! :D heh.. LOL.

hey loves! deleted my private blog alr >.<

i love my everyday life (:

Muahahaha. Back from msia. Man, Tt's an totally Effing fun trip or u can say relaxing (: learnt a lot thru this trip ~ so glad i chose tis over hmw :P haha. I got to know one new cousin. Profile: female, 4yrs old, my fifth uncle's child, both parents working hence they pay my seventh aunt to take care of her, bad temper, but cowed at the sight of my seventh aunt and her husband. LOL. Real cute gal. Just that she's a bit overbearing? Ah Nvm, her cute-ness is enuf to cover up her flaws :D slacked at home frm tues to fri -.-" super boring. Haha. But there's a joke for me to live on for tt few days. Mingming hugged zhiying when he was sleeping! -ö- haha. Kept teasing him, throwing names onto him and announcing them husband n wife xD LOL. Real joke. But went out to shopping whole day on the last day, sat ^-^ bought some clothes n ---- i luuuuuv my third aunt, fifth aunt and seventh aunt sooooo much! Haha. Happy moments nvr last.. So sad i had to come back so fast :/

sunday went out for a shopping spree with third aunt :D Lols. She wanted to buy almost everything for me, but humble me rejected. Haha. Still, i bought some clothes (: Hehe. I did Sth crazy ytd -.-" i pinned up my fringe today n went out. Imagine. Whole day. Couldn't believe i did tt. And i shall cont wif it? GAH. So unglam. =x see first? Most prob i 'd. As for when sch reopens, i Wnt be that sure. Haha. And when third aunt dropped off at city hall, i swear i almost cry ;(

OMG. My hmw! -.-" nah, not in the mood. Haha. Gonna put it off for another few days. Then again, how many more days i have to waste?

I am really happy with my life now, and more than contented, no words to express myself. But, i am happy. (: n i don't plan to disrupt it, neither do u. Understand?

Yo fren! I am back. ÜR spamming msgs hor.. Tsk. Just dun give up k? Bear with it. Jus bear with it. U can't change the situation. But u can make the best out of it! Though i can't promise forever, but i 'll be here even if the whole world lets u down. 你不能自暴自弃。不能这样消沉的过日子。因为你得待在这个家，你没有别的出路了。没有别的选择了。There's nth else u can do abt it. 你可以在痛苦与快乐之间做选择。看我，我选择后者，现在我都开开心心过每一天啊！you must be strong k? All i can do is to say all these whatever crap. 经验谈. Lol. Not much i can do oso. Lols. I am not a boy :P anw, u dunnie boys. Haha. Difficult route to take, but u can do it. Definitely u can. If i can, y can't u? 一定要以一颗宽容的心去面对他们. Swallow the words tt u wan to scream. U noe those words hurt. Scream to me if u wish to. Dun keep it inside u. I noe how those words 'll haunt u n give u a terrible headache. Let it all out to me. Cry if u wish to. But onli to me. No one else.




Eeyer, my bball skills sucks =x lol. I have alr accepted tis fact long ago. Haha. Ytd bball session not very fun leis. Lols. Nth de. Haha. Bt got c shuai ge. Lol. N oso i saw pat n eeling! :D i miss her soooooo much! Oh ya oh ya! When i took 99, guess hu i saw? Haha. OMG! Ahhh! If onli i was 2 yrs older :x Haha. Right, pat?? Hehe. Bt Nvm la! I abit sot sot de. LOL. Pat ah, So sad u weren't there sitting wif me in e bus, or else u 'd have fully understood wad it meant by 七十二变. Hahaha. My face did so -ö- Lol.


I am gg into msia 2day. Yay! Though it means my hmw 'll not be done. LOL. It Wnt be done anw even if i stay in sg. Haha. Dun miss me peeps! ^-^



don't waver. Don't let the new built wall crumble. It's not worth it. Hold on there gal (: jiayou. No matter how lonely u r. No matter wad. U must hold on ok? ^-^ i Wnt be there for u. I Cnt. Sorry. Life is like tt. No one can be there for u forever. I noe u understand de :D u r a strong gal, intelligent one too. Think over what i say. 'll get back to u asap when i come back. Take care <3>




Happy day everyday =D





It feels surreal..





我爱我的大提琴


ich die Liebe mein das Cello.


je amour mon violonchelle.


yo amor mis violonchelo.


io devozione il mio violoncello.


Eu amor meu violoncelo.





as i look back at my memories, the past messages, i found myself smiling... no longer crying. i am so glad that i am happier now (: haha. n i realise frm the very beginning, i am alr called a small kid xD haha.








MuaHahaha. Ytd Idk y jus very happy lo. Lol. Mayb bcoz i starting of e day very good ba :D Haha. It was a fucking boring day =x There's no words to describe how i felt Ytd. Empty? Nah, Sth harsher. Wasted one day -.-" come to tink of it, feel like slapping myself. One nice day jus gone like this! Ahhh. I felt like a wastrel, coz i Hv been wasting e.g time, money. Damn. Still, i was happy ^-^ lol. Contradicting ~

yay! Ltr gg play bball =)



omg. i accidentaly added my whole fb frens in msn :X n ow some spanish guy is scaring the freak out of me. weird. bt oso i made a lot of new fres ^^

tag replies

arrivind: LOL. Welcome to my blog ^-^

gladys: linked :D

natalie: Idk :( no tym sia. N no money TT Sian ah! Ahhh. Nxt tym change pepper lunch to seoul garden. Anderson to hudgen dusk. Ok? xD Thn clothes shall remain as clothes! ^^ haha.

minjia: yea. my sentiments too. lols. happi hols ^^

happi days forever frens xD



跟我不熟....

ahhhhhhhhhh.. i cnt upload photos =X stupid larhs. lol

Decided not to post emo stuff today :D but but but e prev posts all emo meh? Lols.

Everyday stay at home very sian ah! Haha. Bt thn go out oso restrained :x no money. MuaHahaha. Lalala. I miss my cello sia. N bballin. Ps ah, tis few days, i wanna stay at home. I oso dk y. Lol. Ps!

i will try to smile everyday ^-^ n i will hold on to it. Try my best to =) promise. Lalala.

WHAT TO DO TODAY?! RAWR!

together, a veritable fist of defiance, we stand immune to any onslaught!
ROFLMAO. I simply love tis sentence man.

Today mayb gg into msia -ö- or Tmr? Lol. Thn i can c beloved cc n py! N of coz mm. Hehe.

I miss camp! ;>

Whoa. Tis is a super random post. But who cares? ^-^ i love random (:

lol. Ytd night Idk y, all of a sudden, became depressed O.o? Bt i saw Yiying's msg, haha, thn cheer up le :D funny leis. Lols.

Hmmm.. As i type tis post, i am all the more determined to be happy everyday. N i will. As long as is i wan de, sure can de. 我是谁？ 刘依敏 lei! Haha.

Häpþý always =) smile always ^^ yay! Tis two quotes has become my er, er, er, sign? Lol. Whatever ~

Lol. Very positive le hor. N It's rly natural de!! (: not bcoz i wan u to tag thn post de. Lol. Soooo, TAG!

Hmmm.. Mayb i jio anjh go ntu 2day to eat? O.o bt i no money le. Eat wad? Zzzz

2 more weeks to go! Actually, tis shd be e starting of my hols. Bcoz prev 2 weeks busy wif camps ma. Oh well, june hols, i am here. Haha. So lame





































Hohoho! Back from 文化营! ^-^ Haha. Just can't stop laughing/smiling whenever i tried to rmb e events of e first day till last day. We had so much fun!

First day:
splitted up into grps. Wy n me same grp. In 后弈!! :D
my grp consist of: yinhao, pingdong, huizhen, qingyun, lynnette, melody, keryn, jialin, shiying, ziyun, jiasen, yangyi, yongcheng, guanju, jiayi, zhiqi, zheyuan, wy n me!
Our gl are: 欣盈，育才 n 孙子兵法！Haha.I saw 凯凯 ^-^ yay!
played some 'ice-breaking' games. Which is quite lame.Cheering n so on.
Thn went on to the lecture theatre for a talk.
Rly not much fun on first day.
But i absolutely hate it when we have to walk from e lc building back to our rooms! God knows how far is that -ö- worst still, gg uphill. Haha.
There's tis workshop called 剪纸. Ok ok.

Second day:
had a talk in the morning. If i am not wrong, by 小函. Abt chinese pop songs. Lyrics writing etc. It was e ONLY talk which i paid full attention! ;) interesting talk.
Thn we oso had e 2nd workshop called面塑. Made penguins =D Hahaha. Super funny. Mine like every part of it is out of proportion. Nvm, art nia ~
Thn played outdoor games in order to earn 'CCC money' for the auction for weapons needed in our skit.
Got real real wet in the first station -.-" special tnx to the gals (: esp jialin n keryn who hugged me in order to cover me up ;)
Lol. 甲骨问- we had no idea wad word is tt,
比手画脚- totally enthu wif the chinese pros in our grp(huizhen, qing yun)，
2 in 1足球- paired up wif wy. Totally disaster. Haha :P，
采破气球比赛- other grp de ppl really kiong ah! N they targeted me T.T
Thn finally the 晚宴！food was nice ^-^ n e auction was fun. Totally wild. Haha. We had too much money ~ nice one.
In the end, we bought e 沙憎的武器n孙悟空的 hat.
Shouted like nobody's business during the Cheer fight.

third day:
learnt how to make mooncakes ~ the skin of my mooncakes too thick :x *vomit* revolting. Haha. Thn i gave one to cousin. He was shocked. Lols.
Thn preparation for skit.I am 猪八戒！MuaHahaha. So cute xD
the plot was Abt how e fake monkey was differentiated frm e real one. Ya, my stomach was aching by the tym we finish discussing the plot. Too funny. Haha.
We did a great job. I meant it!
Thn showed us pictures 筹委 took these 3 days, 凯凯 one of them i tink? O.o Thn closing ceremony. Cheering for the last tym tgt n exchange of hugs. N grp photos. Lalala. Some of them were getting emotional. Lols. Touchin moment (:
Thn homesweethome.

这个夏天不一young! :D

nxt tym thn post pictures (:

Back from star camp le ^-^ OMG can, e place. Worst Thn i expected? Lols. Theme is abt pirates. Ok ok la. The past camps much more fun lo! Plus, got some juniors er *those hu noe 'll noe*. Sian lo. N super tired too. Went home n slept 11hours -ö- 9am-8am. Lols. Good thing out of tis camp is, i tried e high elements! ^-^ i srsly nvr try before lo, in e past i wanted to, but no chance. Thrillin. Thn i oso got down the sea *beams* special tnx to kevin and jess hun :D from tis camp, i learnt tt Nth is better thn homesweethome. Haha.

Ytd went out whole day. Spent it in Tampines 1. Or rather Tampines area. Shiok can. Thn met up of xiao jiu n his wife. Lalala.

Lol. Jus back frm camp, bt Tmr need go another camp -.- hope tis camp 'd be much btr. Got nice toilets. MuaHahaha.

hate all my frens. Bcoz they like to gimme half stories. Mayb except for patricia ba.. Rest of them. Tsk. I dun like to tell half stories, nor do i like to listen to half stories. What's e pt of starting when u dun want to tell me the ending? To make me seem like a despo begging for the ending? To torture me? To derive happiness on seeing me sad? Worst still, they esp like to give sad half stories abt myself. Begging u now, stop forcing me into all this agony. U nvr noe wad endings i come up for you. You nvr noe how it is Gg to ruin my life. I noe u all dun care, but take it tt i am begging you. Bcoz wad u all told me is abt me, not other ppl.

No matter how hard i try, nothing is going to change.

Tears aint gg to do me good, but they just keep coming.

还要多辛苦？还能够掩饰多久？

rest assure, i m not suffering over issues of bgr. I aint tt stupid. Tnx to *gal*, i srsly tink tt love aint worth tt much (: i cn do much better wif it. Lols. So well, to those entangled in e love web, dun be too jealous of me! :D Anw, i came to tis realisation for a long tym le, jus tt i forget to post post. haha. At least as i am typing for tis paragraph, i am smiling (: bcoz i noe of a lot ppl suffering. MuaHahaha. I am so bad! Lalala

back to sad stuff

最近，你变得很恐怖. Jus Cnt get e words out of my head.

super random pics







finally got my hands onto the laptop =.= lols. oh well, hols are fun ^-^ muahahaha. loking forward to star camp (: anw, natalie n tianxiao. when r we gg to have our andersonpepperlunch outing?!

tag replies:
eileen : linked :D

peilin: lol. imy nanny!! n np. hope u like the present >.<

janet: tnx soooo much. yea. btr days ahead!!! ^-^

sharlene: OMG!! u spammed. hahas. thanks (: lols. tnx for being there for me. u r rly a great hun. loveyou lots. i wan IKEA!! hahas. though i will be gg anoher tym wif nat they all. lols.

yiying: hahas. i tink f wq n his life alr cheer up le. can. enuf for me to laugh whole day ~ hahahaha. i will stay strong de. lols. i grow up still wan to poen up a chain of western dumpling shops :P

natalie: lols. kimbum hubby/jiro dear/aaron boyfren love eemin wifey/dear/galfren.

julee: ps ps. link le :D haha.



lalala. smiles (:

yoyoyo. got back my mye results le (: not good at all. bt thn i will improve de :D anw, i rly tried my er half best ba, tis tym. the other half wasnt triggered ... nxt tym!!! hahas. doubt star n mum will be able to understand this. onli ms lim cn understand ba ^-^ actually, i am indirectly insulting other.... lols

lalala.

thinking.

you are not tinking. you are escaping.

i am not.

wake up.time to wake up.

ugh. i am fully awake. u r giving me a headache :X

just don wan you to continue like this.

the more u tok, the more adamant i am.

you are going to regret it.

whatever.



hmm.. voices within me. contradicting,

exams over. bt no mood to post anythig for now. jus recieved a rather wtf news tis morn.

betrayed. once again. betrayed and oso abandoned 4 times over 2 weeks. numb. really numb le. wad the fuck frens are for? i am sorry to stereotype frens bcoz o 3 of them. sorry. just cnt help it. srsly. cn i scold vulgarities? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ok. just a few sentences. -wtf wrong problem wif u bitch? u tink u his --- i wnt scold? u tink u wad? wtf. dun act cute can. u tink u betray me is nth wrong? ugh. u wan me tell whole world wads wrong between u n him? u c can do it, so can i. hope u two 'd have a fucking ending. aww. i am LOL. lalalala.- done!

contemplating. shld i go sci centre?

td LC n E math totally ruined. mood totally despondent. i realsie one thing. my frens noe wad i dun like bt they consistantly remind me of it. lo. my inferiority complex took the better of me ytd. 3/4 of the time i was brooding over sth. hais.

i onl have myself to blame.

hais... last day of exam le... speechless. time really flies.

i cnt take it anymore. i hate using computers. and gg online. bcoz i will bound to c things i dun wan to. i will bound to be hurt by whatsoever stuff i c. i cnt believe my eyes. i admit. ya, i am sad. thn? idk. i wan to cry. bt i cnt cry.

i promised myself.
i willed myself.
no matter what,
even when the sky falls,
even when my time i coming up,
i
won't
cry.
but..
i did.
once again,
i broke down.
this is the umptenth time.
countless times i cried in long dark nights.
gimme a break
i tried to break free away
away from the forces of emptiness.
but i can't run far
as it is too strong
it will bind me back.
does anyone know what i am going through now?
not a single soul
i don't call myself a soul
it disintergrated long ago.
i am tired.
tired of hearing
tired of seeing
tired of feeling
'coz i lost my senses long ago.
this time,
i am tired of being tired.

it's gonna be a never ending cycle which will squeeze the dryest blood out of me.

everyone is too absorbed in their matters to see mine. and everyday i had to encourage others when i am breaking down inside too.

envy - the pain you will have to go thru when u see others ownin sth you badly want
jealousy - the pain you will have to go thru when u see others with sth you alr had.

backed frm genting ^-^ will post abt it later? guess after exams. too long le. not free to post now. lols.

i m v.happy aft this genting trip. bt thn...

把他列成千古罪人，那我呢？我还不是罪魁祸首。我真的很想把一切的一切怪罪于他，但是我知道事实不是如此，一切都是因为我。作出所有选择的人是我，而他只是用来掩盖我的失误。

mistakes and mistakes and mistakes. that's wad i have been doing. mistakes lead to mistakes. i tried to cover up for the mistake, and end up making another mistake. likewise, a pack of lies. a lie lead to another lie. bcoz we have to cover up for the previous lei. it's going to be a never ending cycle and soon i would be driven to the end by guilt.

all i really wanted to is get things right, bt each step i take, it become worst.

i dream of a tiny cottage, by the country side, with wonderful scenery of whatsoever ---, all alone myself or maybe with someone.... tt's wad i want. mayb not a tiny cottage coz it sounds impossible. bt anything tt would keep me away frm all these these these these these. idk wad 'these' are.... i just wanna enjoy life... n be happy...

ps. ytd post is not me. LOL. bt i delete e wad ever mid-yr thingy le. anw, i have nth heartbreaking to speak of (: bt whatevr i didnt delete is i post de la.

sian sian sian.

totally screwed up today's chinese paper1. it's a sure fail i guess. anw, i am all ready for it. jus now i was like quite hyper, nw idk y, dispirited. wt.

oh god. i m crazy le. studies studie studies

i will never 重色轻友. jus being random.

tt's all i want to say. u'll never understand.

finally get to blog -.- lols.

went out to study wif anjh. damn. tt manger in the advetisment who said : customers are like my family... ' dun allow us study ther! wtf . thn went to kfc. -.- we like spent almost 15 dolar lazi elab.

ytd got ss remedial >.< was late bcoz i went to mac wif farahin n nurul ^-^ lols. thnaft got a math. i nvr go. tmr got make-up de. i requested for one. muahahaha

thn went to mac wif kaiqin first. wanying met us aft a math. lols. kaiqin tot us some amaths ques thn wy n kq went home. -.- thn peilin they all sit wif me lol qianhui go prank my sister. hahaha. i love my seniors! esp PEILIN n WEINI nanny<3s small kid lalalala. srsly, mac's cupcorn sucks. lesson leraned frm qh n pl. stayed ther frm 11 am to 4pm. !! i am so hardworking :P i saw jovina!!!! she said hi to me -O-

i dun wish to be tied dwon by anything. esp frenship. tt's the worst scenario i can think of. n oso love. studies is stressing the f--- out of me. i had no chioce over whether studies cold tie me down or not. it is thren hadto acceot it. i an opt out of fenship and definitely love. i just feel that this way my life is happier. though i am very willing to change for -. thn again, not really. just dun wan to think of anything else le. jus wannna be happy. simple yet complicated.

i am no doubt at the end of my tether now. been screaming at ppl for these two days. just hope malay exam cn get the hell out of my life tmr. will be glad to do anything just to get it out of my exploding head now. gosh. i cnt breathe. literally. not asthma though.

cool down. shitto. may god or whoever forgive me for entertaining such thoughts. cant hold it any longer. saw it, n i wanted to break down if not for the account my family is still wide awake. i tot. i tot. i tot. in the end, i am just deceiving myself. i hate myself. curiosity kills the cat and it is killing me now. damn. just thn, i realise, i duno some of my frens le. or not some. is a lot.

Y. Q. P. K. H. J. X.

and they dun me either. forget it. i shall not even try to get to noe hu they are. tired of all this. i nvr tot once biten twice shy could be applied on lau ee min. bt it did. though i was bitten a dozen times. all this stress is getting me nowhere but hell.

i fed her to the wolve. how worst can i get?

wanted to find some ppl to tok to, bt like i mentioned, idk hu they r anymore. e world is gg on a revolution. all of a sudden, i se strangers not my frens. i believe they feel the same way too. i admit i 've changed. for the worst. and i m not gg to do anyhting abt unles sth happens. n it ;ll happen 25000000 yrs later. so well.

i won't cry. it is just a small matter. forget about it.


had our celebration on last fri (: it was fun lol. played number games wif weini n looxin thn punishment is to perform a sexy whatever dance. LOLS! thn me n looxin tio sia. bt we nvr rly danced tt dance. we danced tango :P hot. hahaha. thn we n weini go concoct a new drink aka food. - smashed rice + onion + kelly + fruit juice + chilli. cool man. i lost e game. ate one spoonful of it. totally revolting. n refreshing. HAHA. thn ltr wenqiao lost n he manged to ate 3 spoons of it. -O- so OMG lo. wnt be surprised if he suffers frm diarhorrea. thn aft tt mr wong n CO members went to play bball. betted lots of things cn. lulu n housefly become his slaves. hahas. huisiang n fangying almost had to bgr for one yr. HAHAHAHA. funny. n fun (: thn went to kfc to slack >.< lalala. thn home sweet home ^-^

saw sat ong ytd on the road. n he said hi. n end of story. bt thn isnt it contracdicting? frens u have known n stayed wif for yrs may not say hi to u bt frens tt u have lost contact for many yrs cn actually be so frendly? come to think of it, i hadnt seen him for long tym le.though not v.long la. lols. he still v.cute sia. n shuai! haha. mixture of small boy n man ... sian.. slacking at home. lalala.

ready to put in all for a relationship... but it wouldnt be for me.

to u-know-hu-u-r-and-if-u-happen-to-c-this-post, he wont see my presence. MUAHAHAHAHA.

post one lil thing thn go sleep le

So you think your cello sucks, but give it to Slava, or Yo-Yo, or poor Jaqueline were she still with us…would it suck in their hands? The music is you, fellow players, and only you…not the machine. Sure cellos have lives, immortal. You are simply passing through its life and every time you pick it up, you have to live up to its immortality and potential…all that it has seen or will see…get with it and play like you mean it…every time

i oso dun quite understand bt i understand a bit la. v.meaningful.

I IDOLISE JACQUELINE DU PRE!!

Tmr SYF le o.O nervous! Oh god. 3 yrs passed so Fast. Cnt believed it…

Lalala. Wish us luck peeps. Though we r gonna do it with our capability !!!

Omg. So touched by the sms ppl send me to tell me jiayou. Bcoz I v.scared ma. First tym leis!! LOLS. Yea. First and last time. Totally agree wif wad minjia said. Smiles (: I love u guys so much <3s

Finally….



BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. WE CAN DO IT!

god. cn anyone stop lau ee min from gg crazy? she's either too happy or too sad. choose one for her n she would gladly stick to it.

i am crazy. crazy. crazy. crazy. lalala. bt thn i choose for myself le. happy (: lol. surprisingly, i choose to be happy -O- omg. cnt believe i just said tt. it came out of my mouth. from my pessimistic thinking!! LOLS!bt anw, happy always =)

dun tink i cn post tmr. mr wong say cannot on9 -.- haha. anw, he dun noe my hotmail rtie? ;P hehe..

当局者迷。善良的人往往在被辜负之后，还失去了自信心，没检讨对方，也跟对方来刺痛自己，研究起自己的缺点来。

拿得起，放得下. bye bye. bcoz i just realise i dun need you. all i need is me. so sorry.

SO, cn anone tok to me? lols. offer urself up. sounds so wrong. gah, syf on wed. gambate!! whoo lala.

i am happy. still happy. and i will cont to hold onto this happiness.......

sian... now doing star project -.- lols. as usual, i cnt resist blogging <3s love it too much. now blog shopping. lalala.

omg. one week pass damn fast can. syf coming le *boom boom* lols. jiayou everyone!

No more tears =) promised. N i 'll do it. But wad i meant is onli till wed i shall not cry. After tt, i sure 'll de. Haha. Jiayou!

so damn touched cn!! hahas.

JUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. =) ok. i will go find my nannies if i stressed le. haha. lalalalala.

for once, i am not sad. muahahaha. power of cello xD

bt jus let me post some stuff, a bit emo de. hehe...

Wad's e problem wif ppl nowadays? Affected by e financial crisis, thn lyk tis oso feel u suffer alot -.- Wth. Tok lyk It's e end of e world! It's lyk i have been living in tis pathetic situation for 10 years n did u c me complaining?! Or crying?! Grow up man. 15 yrs old le. I jus cnt take it when ppl r far off better thn me, n still whining away. Serves them right. Serves them right for not wanting to face the harsh reality when they should. Was i given a chance to react anythiin when e world came crashing down on me ten yrs ago?

finished (: got it off my chest. lala.

Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless
I wish I could be
So I drive home alone
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down
And maybe get some sleep tonight
I fake a smile so he won't see

but, tis tym, i shall not fake one, i need not fake one, i am left with a real one. finally. i am smiling.

eng........ presented today. mdm priya av me tt u-r-sick look -.- zz. bt anw, i got alot of ppl onto tt book ^-^ damn interesting cn! haha

hell training agian for CO prac. my efforts paid of!!!! xD v.v.v.v.v.happy. must jiayou! lalala

tmr got chem test -.- i v.tired leis......... hais.. hvn study yet ._. greeeaaat.

if u r not tired, i am. somehow, i m rly rly tired. bcoz i have no sense of presence. n does he even noes tt he is he? (...)

pluck up ur courage n tok to him!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sian............ dun wish to update this public blog xP haha. bt i love y blog waaaaaaaaaaay tooooooooooooo much to neglect it (:

hmmmmmmm..... napha test, god dun mention it -.- @#$%^&*

thursday skipped sch simpl bcoz i too tired to go :P anw, i am oso having a terrible headache. coincidence xD

today mdm p nvr come to sch today :( LOL. e most interesting lesson of the day cn! syafie n angel lemme c a stor the wrote abt -.- they r totally sick. just lyk me ^-^ thn we crap abt angelica <> HAHAHA. ANJELICA GOH AI LING. U R MY ANGEL(: lmao

aft sch, went to CO. devil training. hell. wth. exhausted. n my fingers hurt. ouh. n today i feel totally worthless. stupid. idiot. fool. feel lyk sreaming cn u just shut the fuck up. obviously u cnt c i m trying my bery best n u r still pushing me!


somtimes, sensitivity kills.

i am going crazy!!!!

EEMIN IS A SELFISH GAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JENGAN DEKAT!!!!!!!!!

sth obscene(though nt rly)is takiing place behind me -.- dun wan turn my head back. though i rly wanted to. gosh. v.tensed up. hahaha. thn now tianxiao come in my room to spoil the mood. bye bye.

hmmm.. to -- : nt tt i wan to invite u into my personal blog. is jus tt inside got sth cnt let u c. all i cn tell u is tt ppl keep comparing me wif u. n tt is v.depressing.

i waited for years for today =DD hahaha. omg. v.happy cn. muahahaha.

i am not fit to be a fren. i am a 'fren' who onli remind another fren tt she is not treating her grp mates well? i am a 'fren' tt scold my fren, cursed her? when i tot she insulted me bt it is all an misunderstanding. i am a 'fren' who dun fit to be a fren. n 'll nvr have a fren n 'll nvr be a fren.

sorry.

cry baby, coz this is your fate.

my private blog's url : http://www.felicity-music.blogspot.com

todays napha test was hell. e feel not there le la. hahas. my standing broad jump!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wtf. damn me cn.

hyper (: today get back physics - 18/25 thoiugh not v.good, bt i improved (: frm 55 to 72, muahahaha. oso got to know my a math results. imporved also!!! xD bt nvr meet my target la -.- nxt tym must do btr! ya! n bio test +D whoo. least test i got 50. tis one i got 85. omg. hyper liao. lalalala. thoguh not good al, bt e pt is tt i improved -O- hahas. my efforts paid off.

slap me.

Hey peeps,

Yesterday's post was just a mistake on my part.
Drey did not say i am a desperate or flirt.
It's just all an misunderstanding!
Please don't get the wrong impression of her!
sorry for all the trouble caused!
Please really really don't think bad of her.


Dreys,

I am really really really super duper sorry.
I trusted others too implicitly.
I am such a let-down.
Sorry that i hurt you.
I really really got carried away because i thought you said all those, until i found out that i was the mean one.
I should have trusted our friendship.
Sorry, that day i wasn't talking about what you thought i was talking.
So sorry.

ppl invited to my personal blog:
kevin
syafie
qisong
farida
yvonne
cherlyn
charles

yo yo yo! xD

common test week o.O finally over!!! whoo. these days slept @ onli 2pm -.- wahahaha. so proud, yet i m damn damn x infinity tired. i hope tt all these hard work comes rwarded wif my results (:

hmmmmmm... ytd go do ic in sch, omg. my pic sxz. wonder how m i gg to live wif tt shiity face of mine :'( it would me a matter of tym when i will go crazy man looking @ the pic -.-

o.O overheard some ppl's conversation.. thn found out tt i m desperate n i act lyk a flirt. lol. will elab further on in my personal blog (: go c go c. haha. onli some ppl cn c. there, i cn say whatever i lyk. lalala.

i keep tellin myself.. dun stoop down to her level. hold ur cool baby. soon, u will be gg to ur personal blog. unlesh everything there. not here.


i m totaly speechless. when i jus want to stand up for myself, i realise i cnt do anything @ all.


srsly, i cried. not bcoz of whatever ppl said, bt bcoz of wad -hanging xx to......- said.

p.s, the 'he' i refering to, i dun lyk him ho whoever noes hu he is. jus cry bcoz he make me seem so...................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................................... .................................. i srsly cnt find a word.

forlorn. i m sad.

Lalala. Aft wad seems lyk finally, i can update le :D

hmmm.. Cut my fringe to bangs >.<>< Oso quite suprised how my hair turn out quite straight lo. But grow long le 'll curl de D: Zz. I wan grow long thn cut back to side fringe!! Sian. Ppl say i got japanese style ._. @!#%* ugh. Totally disgusted.













went to library wif yvone n cher cher on sat ^_^ whoo lala. we shld have more outings like tis (:


















lol. vv.cute rite? dk hu is he cute one hu go arrange the bks till lyk tis. haha.

















i must smile even if it hurts so much. smile baby smile

Thurs.. CO combinne prac >< aft tt, went to burger king wif nat, anjh, farahin, pat n eeling. Gah. Shldn't have choosen bk double rendang :X not nice

fri.. CO combined n sect prac. Zz. I was l8. Reached arnd 10:30am thn aft tt, at 11 we were released! -.- i tot 1pm thn release lo!! If not, wouldn't have turned up for e prac. Aft tt, went to kfc eat wif wy, Tianxiao, kq. Thn kq n i went to jurongvillesec to c e CO prac there. Reali reali good lo them! n i saw jacqi too xDxD

Sat.. Went to e opening of top beauty whatever salon. N cut my hair =D Lol.

mon! First day of term 2 ^-^ lol. Ms lim n mdm priya nvr come. Thn aft school, went 'tuition' xP LOL.

today!! thanks so much fren xD i mean -- hu helped me chnge the --p. haha. lalala

so hyper seh me. lols! lalala. first tym i m lyk siao crazy lo in my post. hahahahaha. just cnt stop laughing. *bleh* hahahaha. i crazy liao. whoo!! hyper happy crappy xP lalalalalala. cn anyone stop me frm laughing? hahas.

I concede defeat. I am totally ashamed of my thinking. I should be. Now, i am awed. We are far behind them. It's their spirit which puts them in front of us.

hmmm.. I m suffering frm masochism. Though i m not really suffering. Haha

whoo! finallly cn update le ^-^ thursday.. worst day of the week :( Not that i choose to be unhappy everyday. Is unhappiness that managed to catch up with me no matter how fast i run or fly. Ytd's incident is yet another evidence of my inefficiency in handling tasks given to me. Yet another prove that whatever i do is worthless, useless. This is getting me nowhere. I really tried my best. But still mistakes have to crop up. I am very tired already, and yet this had to happen. Life is really a joke on me. Ya, i should cry. I can only have myself to blame. And oso, what happened yet again showed me the cruelness of this reality world, yet again reminded me that it doesn't pay to be a kind soul. Things had to happen all at a go isn't it? Ytd was one perfect example. I am tryin my best. Very very best. But just tinkin of all tt had happened ytd, esp the scolding part, i had to let free my tears. Somehow, everything in me is tired. In the past, i m just worn out. Now, i m reali fatigued, inside out. I can feel my heart wrenching. When is all this going to stop? It's really really painful. I see no hope in doing so much and in the end, gettin nth positive in return. N instead, negatives. fri... nth much happen? oh yea. nice discussion wif jess @ mt lesson >.< yea. i m pro-choice for american values to be implanted in singapore. singaporeans too conservative le? lol. hope my blog wnt be spammed :P lalala sat... JSS CULTURAL NITE CONCERT!! fun? haha. nice. bt thn someone came to get tic frm me thn still use a veri what-the-hell tone tell me faster. zz. i tried my best to run le lo. ._. * i m nt tokin abt mr zhong hor* i tink my performance still cn be btr de. jiayous! next challenge: SYF! sun.. went to chinatown again~ almost gg there on a weekly basis? lol. thn at nitewent to marina barrage ^^ e nite scenery is so damn nice lo. thn tot i saw -? lols. idk.

sat... JSS CULTURAL NITE CONCERT!! fun? haha. nice. bt thn someone came to get tic frm me thn still use a veri what-the-hell tone tell me faster. zz. i tried my best to run le lo. ._. * i m nt tokin abt mr zhong hor* i tink my performance still cn be btr de. jiayous! next challenge: SYF!

sun.. went to chinatown again~ almost gg there on a weekly basis? lol. thn at nitewent to marina barrage ^^ e nite scenery is so damn nice lo. thn tot i saw -? lols. idk.

Mon.. Slack at home lo.

Tues.. Went out wif pat n josephine >.< aft tt, josephine left. Thn me n pat went t sci centre there de mac to eat and study. Thn did some observation :P YEW! History tutorial ~ hÀHÁ. Funny sia. E way i stared at.... LOL. Thn we saw Jss media club ppl. Nth lo. Oh ya. Saw aaron too. Kq's fren >.<

wed.. At first wan go jp de. But thn no one go wif. Thn i saw CHUNG XUE NI at e busstop xD tok crap (: wad else? Haha. Went t her hse n ate porridge? Lol. Boastin myself throughout xP Haha. Thn ask her how Jvs ppl r doing lo. Thn home sweet home.

tag replies:
- syafie : wa.. tag so many. i call tt spamming ~ haha. tnx for tagging xD
-ying : relinked (:
-mengchuan : tnx for tagging >.<>
-wanqi : haha. tnx for tagging. (:
- alvin : ya lo. tsk tsk. nah. jus jk >.<
- cherlyn :awww.. honey. tnx so much *sob* i oso miss u soo much <3ssssss
- yvonne : ya rite. u r a auntie!!! undeniable fact xD lols. for my own good. sia. i miss u too (:
- E : wad thing familiar? haha =D

Sometimes, when you put on a mask for too long, you will forget what's the real side of you. I forgot who am i....

So what if he is repentant? God knows what he is thinkin. I think the punishment is too light for him. What th f. He's a downright bastard. He deserves to die. Ya rite. Seekin for medication, er, tis trick won't work. Srsly, she is too stupid to believe you. Pity her. If i ever get to see his face again, i will rip him. Cnt believe he was given a third chance. What's justice? Dun tell me what he did n his consequences were justice. They don't care, but what abt them? Srsly, i think the death sentence shld be the only way out can he redeem his wrongdoings. He's a fucker.

I know the truth. Yet i still continuously find some way to be reminded of this painful truth. I am outta my mind.

有人曾说,治疗伤痛唯一的办法就时间.时间是什么?时间就是漫天飞雪,无论繁华或凄凉,最终都被遗忘掩埋. 流光容易把人抛,红了樱桃,绿了芭蕉.

cancelled ALL invitations to my private blog. bcoz no one gives a damn abt it.

hmm.. today quite ok day. mr ng nvr come. studied malay test n oso copied bio notes. th eg esson best ah! everyone acting guai guai reading book. thn lyk got a lo tension le, sudenly anjlica stood up n said : ok, class, emrm.. i forgot to tell u mdm priya not coming today.. it's like so damn OMG u noe. eveyone was lyk erm.. cheering = booing. hahas. saya keyawa terbahat-bahat. lol. dk whether i used malay correct anot ><

i was looking for myself. n i found a demon in me. i was lyk goddam bad u noe. veri veri bad. hais.. bt i realised i wasnt quite hurt these few days wif the demon me... t the feeling is not nice. reali. but all i wantedis to proctect myself. reali didnt mean to hurt anyone i swear. hreby, i apologise to my dearest wanying. i m reali reali sorry, thses few days i m quite bad. self-centered, selfish. so sorry.

hais.. wher m i? idk who i m now. i m turning onto someone idk hu. nn someone who i loathe most. i mus be outa my mind. but i reali cnt stop it. i feel so damn miserable inside tt i found no way to express it. n thn, i feel i m living for others. reali. what th.. hais.. i must as well be dead. i wanted to.. bt i dun dare to.. i m such a coward. bt i cn do it provided someone give me poison, or i stand at the edge n ask someone to push me down the building. bt kinda impossible uh..

It's fear who keeps one frm reachin the ultimate boundary.

Not all scars show, not all wounds heal Sometimes you can't always see the pain someone feels

The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil.

ytd almost drove ms wong to tears. or i tink she did cry? kind of pity her. aft all, this was her first lesson in her teaching carrer? n it was destroyed by 3-4. ROARS. sad for her.. bt she oso quite ridiculous la.. go confiscate y planner -.- bt got return la. hope nxt lesson cn be btr (:

todays e math test... i m gg to flunk xD lalala. expected de la.

i feel so damn fuckin irresponsible for my results. :( wad hv i been doing? skipping lessons, not handing up hmw, not paying attention in class. wad have i became? it's lyk i m practially destroying my life? n i noe it. n i m continuing it. wad the.. this fucking attitude of mine. i have got to stop it. ugh. i reali reali wan to stop it! bt a part of me tells me tt it is ok, coming up wif damn excuses. gosh, tis is driving me crazy. i m losing myself. not onli in academic, bt in everything. i lost myself. i duno where the goddamn hell i m.

i lost you.

sian..

let the lyrics do the tokin.......

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
Slow it down
Make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
To be something I'm not
I'm a fool
Out of love
'Cause I just can't get enough
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show
The sun is hot
In the sky
Just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the sign
And synchronize in time
It's a joke
Nobody knows
They've got a ticket to that show
Yeah
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show
Just enjoy the show
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show
dum de dum
dudum de dum
Just enjoy the show
dum de dum
dudum de dum
Just enjoy the show
I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back
Just enjoy the show
I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back
Just enjoy the show

dun give me anything. bcoz i dun noe how to let go...

Lalala. Sian.

i m self centered. Happy?

i simply looooooooove my new blog song <3s whoo lala

How can I decide what's right
When you're clouding up my mind?
I can't win your losing fight
All the time.
Nor can I ever own what's mine
When you're always taking sides
But you won't take away my pride.
No, not this time.
Not this time.
How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well.
But how did we get here?
Well, I think I know.
The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue.
Just boiling in my blood.
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are,
If you're a man at all.
Well, I will figure this one out
On my own.(I'm screaming, "I love you so.")
On my own.(My thoughts you can't decode)
How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well,
yeah.But how did we get here?
Well, I think I know.
Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.
Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well,
yeah, yeah.
How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well.
I think I know.
I think I know.
There is something I see in you.
It might kill me.
I want it to be true.

lalala. finaly updated >< lols. in sch. stucked. raining. ps, today somehw idk how t construct sentences. hahas.

last fri sports day ^-^ went to imm wif nat n tx after tt. did some crazy stuff. LOLS. onli WE noe wad we did uh. agree frens? lalalala.

thn on sat nite went out to eat. go to CHINATOWN just to eat MAC -.- stupid rite? my younger sis's idea. haha. saw loo xin n her family. lol. every sat i go out will c CO ppl de. last week is jingjing, mr wong n wenqiao n bukit timah. tis week is loo xin >< lol. nxt week?

cleared up my stuff. thn saw a dvd. 篮球火 ><>< watch it lo. n it's so damn nice!!! lols. hooked up on it (:

today time passed veri fast leis. dk y. thn to my amazement, i paid attention to all the lessons today. -O- so damn omg lo. lols. eemin listening in class wor. haha. but i so guai xP of coz larhss. heh...

wanted to put in blog song de. but sch ban imeem ._. so go home thn change. lalala.

i wish... i wish... i wish... all i wish.. but it is impossible... bt i wish i cn die, it would be possible isnt it?














sore throats are the bane of my existence. gosh. the damn sore throat :X what th f. zz.. thn i wanted to arguw e wif mum but end up losing it bcoz simply no voice to tok le -.- ugh.

no vocab test today >< ytd i lyk tell whole world got test thn everyone lyk booing lo. :( wth. someone pushed the blame to me. but nvm. thn sth happened today. idk larhss. sian.. still hvn get back our SH results ;( hais... i m gg to flunk bio =D lalala. reali lo. thn today for the last three lessons of the day i sat at jasper's place. apparently, a couple was sitting at me n syafie's desk :x what th.. but sitting wif sheih li quite good. :) i understood everything wif her help. lols. thn today got hmt compo wrting. e topics not nice to write one..

once my centre of existence
now bane of my existence

haiz.. i felt like an absolute fool. century fool. everyday i had been living in april fools' day.

dun tinmk ltr cn post le -.- hais.. tmr bio ct TT zz. hvn started studying it. lols. sian..

what th.. PDA sucks man. *pukes*

Today ms lim n Mdm priya nvr come ><> I miss Mdm priya!! :D Hehe. I m insane ~ for biology lesson mrs ng took over (: whoo. Damn fun de. LäLåLà.

I wan make my post longer leis. How? Hehe. LäLåLà all the way? lol. Hey ppl, comment on my facebook status xD so far 4 ppl comment le. sadded. i couldnt find her pic xP lols.

got to noe one Damn shocking news today from pat Ö It's like so Damn OMG lo!! Very damn leis. Totally no link! I swore my heart reali reali did skip a beat. Reali. Too shocking le. Surprised why i can still be sitting here bloggin. Lols.

Great. Got back ct results for physics n a math n e math. Reali great. Lols. Is tis e adverse affect of getting too much papers at a go plus e results aint tt pleasant? -.- lol. Anw, i get damn low. Which i m very proud of to announce xD go die larhss tt bastard. Ahhhhh. Hope he get low low results too!! Hmp!

LäLåLà. Nth much happen in sch ><> (: HàHás. Thn after school went to eat seoul garden at causeway wif my sis (:

nice leis e food.. But thn idk y but i didn't reali want to eat -.- lol. My sis at ALOT. LOLS! *buurp* roflmao! Thn i cracked an egg :D whoo. Though got egg shell larhss xP Hehe. Thn e soup lyk boil boil till no soup le. Lol. I random ask my sis is boiling or evaporatin. I m gg t become more lyk a scientist. Gosh. Tis is unforgivable! Thn took cab home (: whoo LäLå.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEIQI xD ^-^ lols. dun hv t say anything else ba? refer to the msg i send u lo. lols.

lalala

lalala.

happy belated valentines day ><

celebrated valentines day EVE wif mrs jacqueline ng =D, wanying, anjhana, pat, tianxiao, viola n mengchuan. whoo. at imm's swensens. lalala. so happy lo. hope nxt time more of tis gathering. n we got free bowling tickets too xD

having terrible mood swings on valentines day. bcoz my phone not wif me =( without music I CANT LIVE!!! reali lo. so ytd damn emo. thn whole day practising cello >< hais.....

my chem results : 11/20 =D whoo!! al least i pass. yea. hahas.

today common test -.- let's flunk!!! =D lalala. idk y, mayb reali bcoz of wad syafie had sensed ~, but i heck care my studies.

if i let go, will i be happier?

i hate you.

on sunday.. went to alumni LUNCH -.- lol. sounds cheapskate n it is. lalala. fun man.. sitting wof ming how, shinggei, zhiye n another sec 4 guy + shawn + viola, shiny, sharlene n anjhana =D lols. lalala

thn ytd went to hci. gosh, so damn malu can. zz. jss de students are so noisy :x

today.. had a good laugh man. toking abt MDM SAMANTHA n MR PRIYA n MDM SYAFIE + another character bt i dun tink i cn put her name up here. hehe do it like a horse. LOLS!

I learnt that people shouldn't be given a chance when they make a mistake. Simply because i wasn't given one too when i make a mistake. I won't forgive anyone. Because no one forgives me. So, don't ever forgive me. Don't.

I really wanted to put down the past. I can't suffer from memory loss. I had to count on myself to forget everything. Just when i thought i had done it, she or him has to remind me of it. Do you know how much effort i had put in? Do you know the painstaking process? You all seems to targeting me. Why must you make me feel naked? You think it is joke, but it isn't. What can i do to convince you of my fatigue? I am really tired. I am holding on. But there's got to be a limit. And you guys are going to cross the line. What else can i do? Do you want me to run onto the highway and let one passing car knock me down? I wish i can do that. But i can't. First of all, it's due to sth personal. Secondly, i may not survive. Though i am not sure whether i want to live on, still, who knows? I still have a lot of unfulfilled wishes. Please, don't mention the past in front of me. Either kill me or shut up.

the day befor ytd, i then know that everything is a lie. To think that i thought i am the big liar, but you are the one. Not me. It's so hard to accept.

somehow i wish i had nth...

Just in two days, i got to know so much things. And all are negative. Nice one uh.. Eff off fuckers and liars. Though i am cursing, but i aint angry. I am very depressed. Very sad. Very emotional. Nvm. At least everything bad had happened. Hope there's more to come.. By then i'll have alr felt numb.

what is self-esteem? tis question make me cry. bcoz.. i reali dk.

i am holding on. still holding on. buit can i give up? i am reali fucking tired.

My self-esteem is hurt again. I m @ my lowest point yet i refuse to break down

if tears were to wash away my sorrow, i wish i had nvr smile befor...

sianz. now at school library. lalala.

我努力的扬着脸孔-
试着让眼泪不往下流-
别往下流--
不安的感觉到什么
在我生活中不再相同-
不相同-
想要说却还沉默-
伸出手无法触碰-

天空突然一片辽阔
原来你是真的已经离开我-
在我不熟悉的世界过新的生活
闭上眼让泪水滑落
此刻你已真的永远离开我-
在另外一个没有我的世界-
自由的走-

我努力的扬着脸孔-
试着让眼泪不往下流-
别往下流--
不安的感觉到什么
在我生活中不再相同-
不相同-
想要说却还沉默-
伸出手无法触碰-ou------------------------

天空突然一片辽阔
原来你是真的已经离开我-
在我不熟悉的世界过新的生活
闭上眼让泪水滑落
此刻你已真的永远离开我-
在另外一个没有我的世界-
自由的走-


just being random. lalala. i love tis song lo. e melody hor.

my self-esteem is hurt again....... it's ok. i dun care le. my rotten life.. lets rot away.

我很难过。JUS GIVE UP. i wanted to be the nvr say die eemin. reali. but... sorry.

lalala. i am blogging in school. lalala. star now. lalala. lols. asian lang de module. my gruop: sharlene, jinhan, tianxiao n me ^-^ lalala.

lols. i am so damn touch lo. support me sia. my team n peer sia. hahas. ty hun. (as a fren larhss)

today de lessons so damn sian de lo. thn me n some other ppl doi9ng sth tt's so damn fun xD LOLS!

加油加油

i cant get to sleep. lalala.

wanted to post some lyrics de. bt not fated. nvm. hais

nitez

lalala. updating ~

friday:
@#$% mr lee. dun wan let me go home. wtf. say wad i cn rest bt i cnt go home. thn i rather practise lo. zz. when i got home, it became worser. -.- zz. sth ese happened too. . . .

saturday:
went to shop shop at jp >< alone ~ i bought my planner!!!! xD YEAH! n a present. lalala. n just gg out or two hours i spent $60 -.- gosh! thn at night went to marina/esplanade there with guo wen kor kor, erm idk her name jie jie, mum, mei n godfather. the chingay parade de final destination. thn watch e chingay parade lo. quite sian coz i cnt c -.- thn after tt went to e ndp parade de floating platform there. got cny celebrations. it brought back quite alot of emories when i saw e floating platform. tt tym me pat n wy.... lalala.

sth triggered off wad i had been trying to suppress for weeks. i feel so disappointed in myself. how could i forget it? gosh. idk wad's becoming of me. it'e like i m lost. i realise my passion is gone. in studies in everything. mayb even my most beloved cello.

i did sth tt i m so damn proud of xD i deleted all e messages in my handphone ^-^ after e triggering ~ lalala. hahaha. it didnt to me long to came up with e decision (: though i admit i was rash o.O b heck care le. lalala

lalala. happi new yr. lols. sounds a bit late uh... hehe. nvm larhss. now onli 4th day mahs. lalala. sianz.

mdm priya nvr come today -.- thn i did the homework till 2am for NTH?! what th. anw, i aint tired xD i love staying up late. so i cn do whatever i wan whn th whole world is asleep ><

tmr e maths test. zz. fail liao le. nvr pay attention in class de. hehe. anw, i dun care. reali. i must be crazy le.

wanying lend me a book today (: SUPER DUPER WHOOPER nice!!! HAHAHA. bet some ppl 'll say i insane le xP coz it's abt a gal who got rape n cut in the stomach n neck n she survived!!! OMG. i was lyk clutching into my stomach whn i was reading it. it's super horrifying n it's a true story! OMG. but fyi, i enjoyed the book xD i m sadistic =D yeah..

love me (:

I AM SO DAMN HAPPY TODAY =D lalala.

lols. didnt go t school today. fever n terrible headache. hehe.


last saturday
morning went to school for star orientation. quite fun xD esp e pole dance part. HAHAHA. thn after tt went to play bball wif maizheng, wanying, sharlene, wanping, meng chuan, jinhan and anjhana ^-^ thn at night went to eat reunion dinner at dian xiao er. not reali nice larhs. hahas. but thn i saw him xP oso nothing. jus being random. lalala.

ytd...
did nth. blah blah blah.

OMG> finally got to blog. lalala.

these few days 过得很充实。 w/o some bastard. jus jk. hahahas. u aint a bastard.


i love tianxiao veri veri much n i oso love kaiqin alot.


I LOVE LIAN LIAN LAOGONG.

I LOVE ZHAOJUN LAO GONG MORE xD

anw, i lyk mz de most larhs. erhem, jus jk xD

i love mdm priya. HAHAHAHA.

n i oso love cello.

anw, what i want to say is, that i, that i, cnt say it. i m still binge eating on choco (:

What do u want me to say? Speechless. Lyk u care.

我很难过，但说不出口。

Sometimes e most loving thing you can do for someone is to let him go..

The pain i felt inside was so strong, i wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even my worst enemy. Suddenly, my fantasy-filled world evaporated, leaving me cold, alone and scared. This time, there was no prince to come to my rescue. There was only me and my newly damaged soul.

I must be brave. Smiles (: HAHAHA

Oh god. I jus realise I lost my ability to cry. :X ugh. God is playing a joke -.-

Cn I b lyk e gal in my story? I heard tt tt cn of lifestyle veri nice lei. Lols. I oso wan be lyk her (: taking drugs, smoking etc. oh dear, I m crazy xD

Chatted wif – . Anw, tnx counselor ~

(Tts wad I wanted to post ytd)
_________________________________________________________________________

As for today….

Lolls. I LUV English lessons XD though it is kind of intimidating. Hahas.

Nth interesting…

oh ya. during physics me n wy lyk using e penknife to slash our hands. we did it for fun. not emo -.- thn her hands lyk got red mark. n mine didnt!!! :( walao. thn i try alot of tyms still dun hv -.- zz. she say i sadistic le. hahas. i am xP thn we stop coz scared tt e gals behind us will tink we crazy. HAHAHA. jess said mine blood will come out ltr. bt nvr. zz. waited in vain. oh gos, i reali sound sadistic......

Thn sth happended after sch. Someone was out of love….. thn I console her lo. OMG. I swore I cn still feel e burning pain in me. Bt I still have e mood to comfort other ppl O.o I m such a saint. Actually, I know tt no matter wad, I wnt break down in front of other ppl de.. even if e nxt min. i m gg t faint of pain, I wnt show it. Coz no one understands. Anw, hope she walks out of it. For e moment, I am just veri tired. I am down on chocolates again…

hey gal. jus wanna tell u tis. no use crying. i mean tis is e thing u will expect rite? so get over it. i had no position t give u advice or anything bcoz i...... u know ~ i have no rights. jus noe tt i will be there for u (: lalala

i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless.i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless.i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless.i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless.i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless.i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless.i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless.i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless.i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless.i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless. i am shameless.

lalalalalala. life sux. (:

Finally got my hands on e keyboard -.- lolls. Okie.

Friday
Sch reopen (: lolls. Gt t c my new classmates. In e morn met up wif pat n I m late as usual xPthn Natalie n anjhana waited at e wrong place. Roars. So damn funny cn. My cher is: MR NG ><. Lalala. Thn is :]’s birthday. I swore I wanted t elab on tis part. But thn my mood is ruined =X Satuday n Sunday
Slacked at home. bored.

These few days..
A lot of things. Bt mood ruined so dun wan say le. =X

My turn to 割脈 le.. hais.. jus realized tt e more I hope e more disappointment I felt. Jus lyk today, wasted. Hais.. wanna know hw sad I m? mayb my wrist cn prove it t u. anw, I m jus jk abt e wrist part. Bt I m srs for e disappointed part……. Hais…

期待原來是傷害

Hais.. 强烈的失落感。

omg. I tink I m gg crazy le. Coz.. ugh. Nvm. Coz maizheng nt sitting beside me le. Jus jk. E onli joke I cn crack for now..

当我沉默的时候, 誰知道我的心很痛?

first month….. happy? Hw I noe? Lyk he will rmb.. dun tink he will.. will smash e keyboard if I cont t write.

I didn’t smash e keyboard. Good. I still rmb I once wished n said tt: “不要害怕，有我在。我在等XXX对我说。” he said tt, didn’t he? Bt thn wish it was in a more srs way………….

thursday,friday,sat,sun
Lols. Went back to batu. Lalala.. Basically slacked at home xD nice lo. HAHAHA. Thn i went cyclin on fri. Alone. Exploring. Lols. I swear i got lost but thn tt's e fun part ma. Still, i got back t my hse. Hehe. I so smart. Thn i cont t cycle t diff places. U have t admit i m smart :D n not t mention adventurous xP LOLS! Thn i saw i rainbow when i came back. Ö. Made three wishes :) yeah. Hope they come true. Pretty please.

Lalala ~ sad my older sis nvr come. Hahas. Sounds fake ~ bt quite good if she comes.. To share my burden wif e kids. Ohhh.. I m jus too popular xD ROARS. Went cyclin again on sat evening. When i came back i was told tt ah ni n 小叔 went t find me. Tot i lost. ROARS! Thn went t eat n t carrfour :] thn nth much happen ba.. thn sunday came back. Thn we did sth so INCREDIBLE. HAHAHA. We lazy wait for e bus so we walk frm e msia custom t sg de. So damn long lo. But got shuai ge n his two sis t walk wif us :D lucky me. Hehe. thn back home finally.

Not jealous uh.
Zz :X
whatever .
I actually wanted t feel loved.
when i came back with scars.
But i didn't show it.
Coz i jus realise tt mayb u jus dun care

Thinkin over what ah ma said.. Hais.. I m sick n fucking tired of tis le. Tis is e first vulgar i scolded for e week. Hais.. What's e problem? Idk idk. Dun even wanna be involved. Please la. Oso feel lyk slappin my mei for sayin those things. 饶了我吧！求求你们。我所经历的不是一个14岁能承受得起。我。。无话可说。It's jus tt unfair.

monday
Went to jp de zhou kitchen t eat lunch wif yipo they all on mon. Delicious :D HAHAHA. Best part is we get served by my sister. Hehe. Keep kaobei her. Lols. Thn saw e 17yr old shuai ge. Lols. Not very shuai lei jie. Jian le kor more shuai. LOLS! Thn after tt went t shop shop >< thn home sweet home.

tuesday
basically slacked at home. Stucked wif my mei -.- Zz. So damn Sian. Anw, hAPPY BeLATED BIRTHDAY mei! ^-^ Lols.
Had a dream. I dreamt tt i was playin bb till halfway thn suddenly someone push me thn my right hand lyk break or lose feeling. Doctor say i cnt use it for a period of tym. Thn lyk suddenly cnt play bb n e worst is i cnt play cello! OMG! I cried. Reali. Woke up to find myself cryin. Reali scary lo. Though i m left-handed, but my right hand is very important can! Holdin e bow for cello! OMG. Lucky dream onli.

jing ru cam ytd xD so wnt be bored ba... first day of 2009!!! lalala. dun tink i will be posting tmr...... a new yr. very good. this yr alot things happened uh.. dun even remind me of it :x hahas. anw, i reali grow up. reali lo. though still....... hehe. a new class nxt yr........... oks. i will miss:


grace : yo. actually didnt tok much t u in sch in the past. thn when it came to e second half of the yr thn got t know u btr xD tnx for inviting me t e chalet. fyi, i was surprised. hahaha. u're reali a cool girl ^-^ all e best t ur future

Audrey!: yo gal. hahas. Onli got t be good frena wif u this year. But it’s nvr too late. Tnx for e precious memories. N gt t know a few tips too frm u. haha. n dun so emo le larhss!! Dun anyhow go slash urself hor.. feens foreva!
joan: though we dun reali tok t each other, bt still rmb e note u gave me at e start of e yr. i still keep it wif me :] tnx. e encouragement u gave me, i will rmb it xD jiayous! germaine: u reali cute gal. hahaha. nice t be ur gren. always sitting bside during morning asemblys. n u sat behind me too during class. It’s realy fun toking to u xD be cute always :]

marlyna: hmmmm… same group as u last yr for science. So damn fun can. Seeing e way xihao had to do things when u ordered him. N u quarelin wif mc. Lolls. Thn in class u will always have e courage t voice out ur opinions. N it always set our class into fits xD hahahas. Cont t rock on in ur life gal ^-^

michelle: erm.. lolls. Dk wad t say. Coz I didn’t tok to u de. Hmmm.. cn c tt once u r set on doing sth, u cn reali do it well. Ur end-of-yr results shows it. During class always c u n yc doing notes. Hardworking. :] cont t excel in ur studies n bball.

Yuehchyn : during e sci grp, u reali did contributed a lot. Ur drawing rocks!!! :D hahaha. Cn c tt u reali nice girl… n pretty one. hahas. All e best t ur future xD

Ruth: hahas. U r my babe xD lolls. Still rmb how some of my actions shock u or rather ur actions will shock me xP … loveu 4eva!

Rebecca: u so damn quiet can! Mus learn to speak up!!! Hahas. U oso very cute. :] lolls. Nth more t say le. Hmmmm… oh well. Good luck

Huihui: yea. I cn rmb ur screaming xP lolls. Dun get so dramatic larhss. U r one gal who will get t e bottom of everything u dk. Good. Hahas. Erm… tnx for entertaining us during class tym. No offence xD

Shalini: yo shiny! Learnt a lot frm u. tnx for giving me e chance for presentation. I used t be someone who dun speak. Yea. But u changed me. Tnx a lot. U r reali a hardworking gal ;] admire ur perseverance. Cont t do well. N dun forgwt me future prime minister xD

Tianxiao: hahas. I dun tink I need to write anything for u. coz even if we in diff class, we will still be good frens xD rite?

e rest i will udate de xP

I m in my worst mood ever ytd. Reali. I swear. Thn wif my younger sis at home to worsen my day. Wtf. I feel lyk spittin out all the vulgar i noe. But i wnt. My younger sis reali deserves a tight slap. Real tight slap! But i didn't. I should have done so. Ugh. She's a spoiled brat. Anw, i m not tt type of ppl who will vent their anger on their family. Unlike my younger n elder sis, mum n dad :[ i reali hate ytd. Lucky got yvonne to call me :] n oso Tianxiao :] HAHAHA.

Tonight whole family not at home. Mum n jie workin. Dad n mei go party. Left me alone. Greeaat. Lols. Dk wad t do.. Prepare a candlelight dinner for me? Lols. My cookin sux. HAHAHA. Thn wad? Hais.. Idk idk idk idk idk idk. Ahhhhhh! Gg crazy le.

i wnt care :] Hahas. Care so much for? N u can do it de :) jiayous!! School reopen onli a few days more. Hahas. As for me, hmmm, e challenge.. Wait lo. April ba.. Not sure i cn do it. Hahas. I encourage u u nvr encourage me -.- Zz. Whatever

What the.
What is this?
I don't know larhss
dun care le.

Does holding hands dispel woes in your heart?
Thn please take my hand...

我一直以为我的生命是场恶梦，梦醒了，才会发现原来什么都没发生。只是一场梦。。相信很快就会从梦中苏醒。但事实不是如此。事实是残酷的。我无法接受这个残酷。所谓的信念是什么？有人可以解释吗？

Went out wif Anjhana n her sis n my sis ytd to bugis. Bought a necklace n jacket :] Lols. I m spendin money insensibly. Tsk tsk. I dun care. Thn went t jp t meet my godfather. Ate at westlake thn back home..

I m so damn disappointed. Idk y. Angry anot any diff? Y ask? Today nvr go watch movie le :[ *bitter laugh* Greeaat. Tis gave me swollen eyes. Hahas. Today shall stay at home to emo :]
Body


It's time..
to binge eat on choco..

I very insensible uh.
Sorry.

Yeah.
I m very insensible.
Then dun care abt me.
I cnt take any more hope.
It's too much for me to bear.
All i get is empty promises.
This is my life.

Hope ltr downstairs no one playin bb.. Thn alone veri good :]

Enjoy ur bbq ~
enjoy ur movie ~

ytd chatted with - :] lols. tnx anw. though u lost ur phone halfway -.-, bt thn at least i m tired oout when waiting for ur reply. lols. tt's e aim ^-^ lols. so u nvr rep bcoz u confused or maybe u dunno what to say or emo don't want reply? Haha a lot possibility. boys ~

thinking over ur definiton of true love : True love is acceptance of another into your lives and being able to give and take sacrifices bah.. o.O realy? hmmm...

i still got a lot more question to ask u de!!!! :[ zz...

It's a damn cold night.
Trying to figure out this life.
Would u come take me by the hand?

No one is there.
Really
.Those who claim tt they r there,
why didn't i feel it?

let the lyrics do the talking.........
[i think of you]
When I'm down and all alone
When nothing seems to matter
When I lose my hope
When I'm sad and confused
When it all gets turned around and 'round
I can't seem to reach for solid ground
When everything I've believed in seems untrue
All I have to do

[Chorus]
Is think of you
I think of you
and it's gone
Like you chase away the storm
Making it all okay
I think of you
I think of you
and I'm strong
And I know I can go on
It's like you set me free
When life gets the best of me
I just think of you

Now I know what love means
And whatever life may hold for me
Through the fire
Through the rain
I believe
Cause there's nothing I can't bear
Knowing that you will be there
If I fall
I won't break
Through it all
I'll make it through
Cause all I have to do

Is think of you
I think of you
and it's gone
Like you chase away the storm
Making it all okay
I think of you
I think of you
and I'm strong
And I know I can go on
It's like you set me free
When life gets the best of me
I just think of you

And when I think I'm all alone
I can't see the way to go
Lost in the rain of my own tears
To wash away the pain and fear
For the good times and the bad times
I just think of you
Cause you know you get the best of me
I just think of you



my blog song ^-^

杨丞琳 -带我走
作词:吴青峰 作曲:吴青峰

每次我总一个人走
交叉路口
自己生活
这次你却说等我走
某个角落
就你和我
像土壤抓紧花的迷惑
像天空缠绵雨的汹涌
在你的身后
计算的步伐
每个背影
每个场景
都有发过的梦

带我走
到遥远的以后
带走我
一个人自转的寂寞
带我走
就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫
我不怕
带我走

每次我总独自远走
保持缄默
不皱眉头
这次你却说一起走
彼此温柔
从此以后

像土壤抓紧花的迷惑
像天空缠绵雨的汹涌
在你的身后
计算的步伐
每个背影
每个场景
都有发过的梦

带我走
到遥远的以后
带走我
一个人自转的寂寞
带我走
就算我的爱 你的自由
都将成为泡沫
我不怕
带我走

白马溜过漆黑尽头
潮汐袭来浪花颤动
凝在海岸
结成了墨

蔷薇朝向草原气球
邮差传来一地彩虹
刻在心中
拍打着脉搏~

带我走
到遥远的以后
带走我
一个人自转的寂寞
带我走
就算我的爱 你的自由
都将成为泡沫

带我走

i am getting a bit sentimental nowadays. lols. i was like looking at my whole yrs msgs. i saw someone's msg in particular. n i felt tears at the brim of my eyes. OMG. shocked at my actions. duno y i suddenly feel tis way. or mayb bcoz the days were gone. hais.. emo day for me i tink. i reali miss e days. hahas. anw, e memories are enuf. though they serve as a reminder tt he is no longer him. or mayb bcoz i have changed too. i am no longer me.


thn i suddenly tot abt the days while having tuition at SK hse. lols. those were wad i call fun. childhood memories :] i rmb gg t tuition with mengchuan, joonhui,xueni,junhao,mingsian,soogkid. hahas. though mingsian dropped off halfway n soonkid jus joined. n oso YVONNE !! hahahas. thn sk will crack horny jokes n we will scold him. thn he will lyk give everyone some money t buy tibits. we will have tests. n sometyms e gals will go to xueni hse ^-^ i miss those days. forever gone. but this memories reali make me happy. not lyk e one mentioned above, i dun even feel sad when thinking of those days. still rmb whenever mengchuna cnt outrun me(he nvr even bother to), he would sen junhao to chase after me. lols. yea. had lots of fun didnt we? lols. will they miss tose days? hahas.

yea. still gt alot alot more. will write more nxt tym.

lalala

Today met my cousin :] HAHAHA.
I miiiisss him alot. Then when i saw him i had e impulsion t jus jump on him n hug him. LOLS.
I didn't.
Wait till his birthday. XD we didn't tok much. Zz.
E silence is enuf t kill me -.- ahhhh!
Damn it. I swear i had thousands millions billions zillions t say t him. I guess i was shy~
eemin shy? OMG. Dun laugh. I swear nxt tym i wnt. Let me repeat, i WNT let it happen again!!!

I love you

lalala... HAPPY BIRHTDAY to my PEIYEE!!! lols

hey qisong!!! look here :D

GREATEST CREDITS TO QISONG

yea. i did it :] lalalala.. congratz me ^-^ lols.

cnt wait t c u.....

walao wei. i tot wad u oso have facebook when i saw ur name in my hotmail tt u wan t add me. zz. is another person -.- wth.

hais... i hate u so much. i hate u.

zz. last nite no one rep my msg de -.- zz.


who is there to wipe away my tears? i feel no one. onli me......

i realise tt even at this point of time, with love and frens, i still can feel the emptiness in me.........

hahas. since both lakesiders tagged me to do, i will do it all at a tym xD



1. Who is the person who tagged you?- qisong n jessica

2. Relationship between you and her?- frens n frens

3. Five impression of her?- qs - emo kia, tall, chubby facexP, gorrila,gd looking? jess - tok abt scientific stuff -.-, cute, gd debator, nice hair, my good fren XD

4. If he becomes your enemy , will you?- both - what cn i do? lols

5. What would you like to say to the person you like very much?- ily

6. Characteristic I like about myself?- wild imagination

7. Characteristic i hate about myself?- insensible

-8. For the person you hate you say?- ihy

9. What do people feel about you?- .... insensible

10. Your crush?- lols. eemin ><

11. Pass this to 10 pplOnly Bloggiee People :)

1. Patricia

2. minjia

3. yvonne

4. Tian Xiao

5. sharlene

6. kevin

7. C.H

8. nurul

9. yiying

10. whoever wants t do it -.-

12. If 5 & 7 were tgt?- LOLS! who noes? they might.

13. What does 5 like?- idk wor.

14. What colour does number 9 like?- bright colors?

15. Say something about number 8?- she's awesome larhss

16. Who is number 2?- minjia :]

17. Talk about number 3?- lazy. lazy n lazy. jkjk. hahaha. erm... damn funny de. n a good fren :D

18. Who's number 10's best friend?- lols. number 10 doesnt exist

19. Who is the sexiest among the 10 people?- 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9

20. What colour does 4 like?- red? orange? yellow?

21. Is 4 single?- noooooooo. attached to me xD

22. Your relationship with number 1?- close frens :D

23. Are 5 & 6 bestfriends ?- ROARS!!!! no -.-

24. 9's surname?- tan

25. 7's nickname?- idk. alot?

26. Say something to 8- ily sweetie xD

27. Say something to help 9.- lols. stay happy always ^-^

28. Who does number 1 admire?- HAHAHA. cn i scream it outloud? xP

29. Where does number 1 lives?- jurong west st81 blk...(its personal)

30. Does 10 of them know who you like?- yea. 3.4.5

31. Say something to 6 when you see her?- yo gay!

32. 10's spouse?- zz. refer to que 18 -.-

today shall be a sian de >< coz my jie jie go back t sg first for work purposes? *shrug* lalala

ytd smsed ~ ;] lols. say what very scary, hui pa pa. hahas. coz i always tink too far. this is a girls ability. agree? *nod heads* hahas. thn kinda interrogated him xP lalala.

* this is dedicated to my CUTE n SWEET dear ^-^
hahaha.. lols. i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you. hahas. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ XD

hahahahahahaha. ytd nite very emo de. bt thn suddenly see his msg ^-^ hahas. OMG! didnt noe it would have such a greeeaat effect on me :] hahahas. hahahas. all i cn do is smile n smile. lalalala. sweetest dreams ever <3s

Yo peeps!! Hahas. Dun b too happy first. I m nt back yet. Jus tt my this aunt’s hse got internet ^-^ yeah!!! Will onli be back nxt wed :] oks. Lols. I am at my grandmama hse frm Sunday to wed. today till nxt wed will be @ my seventh aunt hse xD lalala. At grandma hse damn sian de so i typed out my activities into my phone every now n thn :


16:05 Sun 07-12-2008 After thinkin of x for one hour one e train, i finally dozed off..
17:00 Sun 07-12-2008 Lol. This is what i tot. But thn i didn't sleep a wink on e train. Hahaha. Hmmm.. Funny.. Do i lyk him? Not really? Hao gan ba.. lol. Doesn't mean we cnt stead rite? Lalala ~ e feeling of being loved.. How does it feel lyk? *shrug* who do u tink will back out tis tym? Hais.. I always think so negative de. Nvm. Trust him :]
Yo peeps!! Hahas. Dun b too happy first. I m nt back yet. Jus tt my this aunt’s hse got internet ^-^ yeah!!! Will onli be back nxt wed :] oks. Lols. I am at my grandmama hse frm Sunday to wed. today till nxt wed will be @ my seventh aunt hse xD lalala. At grandma hse damn sian de so i typed out my activities into my phone every now n thn :


16:05 Sun 07-12-2008 After thinkin of x for one hour one e train, i finally dozed off..
17:00 Sun 07-12-2008 Lol. This is what i tot. But thn i didn't sleep a wink on e train. Hahaha. Hmmm.. Funny.. Do i lyk him? Not really? Hao gan ba.. lol. Doesn't mean we cnt stead rite? Lalala ~ e feeling of being loved.. How does it feel lyk? *shrug* who do u tink will back out tis tym? Hais.. I always think so negative de. Nvm. Trust him :]
19:23 Sun 07-12-2008 ugh. E toilet in e train is damn damn dirty de can. Wtf. Zz. If take coach go genting thn good ma :[ Zz. My mum hor.. Shldn't have cancel e trip. TT Hais.. Now at melaka ><
22:55 Sun 07-12-2008 Lols. Intend to type out de when i get off d train. But lazy. Hahaha. Now at waipo hse le ><

01:05 Mon 08-12-2008 Zz. Haven sleep yet -.- 3rd uncle jus came back to on e air-con for us. Wth. Nd on air-con meh? I damn cold le lo. Still on e air-con. Hais.. Now gg t slp le. Lalala.. Nitex. LOLS.
09:56 Mon 08-12-2008Lol. Wake up le. Oh shyt. Think i m sick or whatever. Ugh. Damn painful de. Nvm. Ltr will get better ><
16:23 Mon 08-12-2008 Lalala.. Tym really flies man. So fast 4:30pm le. Whoo.. Jus nw tok wif aby over e phone. Lols. Told her to quickly fly to waipo hse. Hahas. Though we didn't contact each other, bt e bond between us is still as strong ^-^ i m so glad ~ nw waitin for nite to come :] aby said she will come at nite. Sian.. Now reading her story book. Abt vampire de xD Hahas. Bt is chinese words -.- too chim le la. Hehe. Nvm. Now cont to read....
19:48 Mon 08-12-2008 realise tt when i m alone or when i have nth to do, i will start to emo. I hate this side of myself. Suddenly think of my life. N all i can say is hais.. What are memories for? Those happy ones will only make us regret tt it is gone. While the sad memories brings heartbreaks. So either way, memories are just to make us feel miserable isn't it?


00:19 Tue 09-12-2008 now gg t slp le :] so damn tired can. Yawn. I m really sick le la. Zzz.
11:09 Tue 09-12-2008 OMG. Fourth aunt come le!!! OMG. OMG. Means 帅哥表哥 here le ^-^ OMG. Lols. I over-reactin le. Hahaha. Bt haven c him yet. In e kitchen x) lalala ~ bt he really damn shuai de can. XD
11:18 Tue 09-12-2008 Zz. He nt here. Nvr come -.- LOLS! Sadded. Jk. Jk. Aww.. Jessica, i cnt take photos back for u le. Hahaha!
15:18 Tue 09-12-2008 Sian!!! Lols. Infer what i tokin abt ><
17:23 星期二 2008.12.09 now at jiu gong hse ><>I suddenly feel so guilty......



12:37 Wed 10-12-2008 lalala.. Now at a restaurant in fuyong. Eat finish le >< headache ="x">
17:48 Wed 10-12-2008 board the train. Erm actually tt's lyk abt 2 hours ago. Hahas. Sian. Hp batt gg t die le -.- Zz. Still need it t last 4 erm 4 more hrs lei! Wth.

now i am in johor!!! muahahaha. LOLS! glad tt his hse gt internet or else will be very sian. xD

hey ya!
i miss u.
lols.


Lalala.. Went to jvsco concert at yms arts centre ytd >< color="#333333" size="1">i realise i just cant stop smiling :]
just thinkin of you ~

Am i in love?
Then again,
when had i never been in love?

Dreamt of ~
i shld be happy for her
yet oso i can feel the heartbreak of mine
my goodness
i jus said i am happy
yet y m i affected?
Damn It

Lalala... Slacked at home for the whole day =z Zz Can't use the com. So watched rolling love♥. Hahas. Wy should be glad~ then from 6pm- 7.40pm go HuaYi there play Bball with Yvonne ^_^ Lols. She's quite good. Aiyo, tyco de lah. xP hahahaha. Mine is tyco with skill can :] play match with her. So damn funny can. >< I WON!!! Lalala~


just realise something
i feel happier
when you feel happier
:]


who inderstand it?! Please tag my blog oso!


-credits by Yvonne♥ ^_^ she posted all those on top and changed some of EeMin's broken language :D

on my actual birthday, went to popo's hse to celebrate candence first month xD lols. oso managed to get a brithday cake xP lalala


Should i wait?
Should i forget?
I don't know whether i have e patience to wait.
Forget it ~
who do i like now?
Him?
Not u of coz.
Like i told you,
I got better description.
For my feelings towards you.
But for him?Loads of feelings
. But i dun really find love :
[i wish toothat i would lyk someone
and he would lyk me too
to free me from misery.......

How i wish i can lyk u..
But kinda impossible :[

lols. who knows wad i am toking abt? please tag in my blog. curious wor. XD hahas. if u noe n u nvr tag thn u must treat me to lunch xP lols. i am srs

wtf. f. f. f. f. f. f. went to vivo today to buy wallet -.- thn lost my wallet. hey god e wallet not meant for me de lei. is buy for other ppl de!!! ugh. lost ezlink n $50 TT to whoever who picked it up n dun return fuck him/her mum la. or mayb i shld fuck myself!!!! i saved up de money!!!! @##$%^&*

no matter what,
i will stay strong
bcoz i have survived the worst

mayb i shld thank my past
so what happened tt day
i aint affected by it :]

bt thn
pls understand
i m jus a girl ~

very very lazy to post lei. nvm.

last mon n tues : star camp.

wed: woke up too late so nvr go sch for sect practice xP hehe. slack at home lo

last sat: my bdae bbq. whootz. had loads of fun. did i? lols. duno *shrug* erm, tx for coming guys n ur presents of coz xP love u guys loads xP this msg goes out to anjhana,drey, wy, jess, tx, wx,don(dun get angry gal), alvin, eugene, mark, syafie, kevin, ch, qisong, stella, yvonne, cherlyn, yangyang:],sharlene,xihao,kaiqin, jiajun and jack, dad, jie, mei and godfather! lols. got 4 teddy bears -.- i m too old for tt. jk.jk. love e bears loads. a wishing bottle plus some funny notesw inside.hahas. bookmark. n choco sweets n elephant keychain. n 2 red packets. TWO TEES :]!!! n volleyball n a bball ^-^ hahaha.

today went to school for practice.

will update the photos ltr.

hais. confused.

she is really pretty :[




lalala.. just came back from star camp ^-^ hahas. so damn fun can, lazy type. nxt post then type ba....

quiz frm chekhui

A. People who have been tagged must write their answer in their blog.
B. Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse.
These people must state who they are tagged by and cannot tag the person back.
C. Continue this game by sending it to other people
1.nurul
2. pat
3. qisong
4. wanping
5. yiying
6. yvonne
7. wenxin
8. alvin
1. What Have You Been Doing Recently? slacking
2. Do You Ever Turn Your Cell Phone Off? of coz -.-
3. What Happened At 10am Today? still sleeping
4. When Did You Last Cry?- in my dreams :[
5. Believe In Fate/Destiny?- Yes
6. What Do You Want In Your Life Now? ~
7. Do You Tend To Make Relationship Complicated? huh?
8. Are You Wearing Anything You Borrow From Someone? no ==
9. What Was The Last Movie You Caught? money not enough 2 :[
10. Does That Person Know You Like Him/Her? no
11. Who Always Make Me Laugh? crappy ppl. n ~
12. Do You Speak Languages Other Than English?Chinese. malay. fremch(totallybroken xP)
13. Favourite Website(s)? blogger n youtube?
14. What Are You Doing Tomorrow? slacking. zz
15. What Do You Think You Are Like? problematic girl
16. Who Will You Choose To Die With? alone
17. Where Have You Been Today?Home
18. What Game Do You Play Often? no game
19. Who Are You Missing Right Now? now? no one. mayb ~
20. If You Have To Choose Between A Friend And Love, Who Will You Choose? love. fens will be there for u foreva while once love is gone, it would nvr be back (i sound so wise seh)
21. What Are You Doing Now? blogging duh
22.Which Primary School Are You From?Rulang
23. Name Three Colours That You Like? blue. others same.
24. What Emoticon Do You Like To Show? emotionless
25. What Is Life To You? it goes on no matter wad.
26. If You Have Something Troubling You, What Will You Do? keep thinking abt it.
27. Who Did You Last Chat With On MSN Today? eugene.
28. Who Do You Admire The Most? alot lei. those wif no troubles? or those preetty?
29. Which Month Were You Born In? november
30.How Are You Feeling Right Now? empty
31. What Is The Time Now?10.50 p.m.
32. What Kind Of Person Do You Think The One Who Tag You Is? tok crap
33. What Colour Would You Use To Dye Your Hair? i dun like dye
34. Why Are You Doing This Test? wanna do sth lame
35. What Do You Do When You're Moody? sleep
36.At Which Stage Do You Wish To Get Married? *shrug* 26+++
37. Who Is More Important To You?- me
38. If Today Is The Last Day Of Your Life, What Will You Do? still fantasizing.
39. Who Is/Are The People/Person You Trust The Most? ~? duno. no one.
40.Do You Believe In Seeing The Rainbow After The Rain? yea
41. If You Have A Dream To Come True, What Would It Be? e dream i m cryin for?
42. What Is Your Goal For This Year? end of yr le. -.-
43. Do You Believe In Eternity Love? absolutely not.
44. What Feeling Do You Love Most? ?? erm being loved
45. Do You Really Think It's Global Warming Now? guess so
46. What Feeling Do You Hate The Most? jealousy
47. Do You Like Doing Quizzes? so-so
48. Do You Believe In God? no/yes
49. Who Cares For You The Most? Family, friends
50. What Do You Think Is The Most Important Thing In Your Life? duno. nth
51. What Will You Bring When You Fight? myself -.-
52.What Have You Regretted Doing In Your Whole Life? 2 things onli. - noe wad it is
53. What Do You Do If Nobody Cared For You Any Longer? no one cares for me at this point n i am still living. (refer to Q.25)
54. What Will You Do If Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Two-Timed You? slap him in the face *disgusted*
55. How Do You Feel Now? empty + emo

Ltr nt gg to yewtee de concert le ;[ sorry wanying. So sian.

Envy or jealous?
I really do not know.

So confused now.

Whatever. I don’t care.

It’s just a illusion.
Not real.
Yet I am affected by it ;[

*the above words/sentence has no link de. Or It does have link. Just tt only I know.

got so many things to say. so many activities. zz. lazy lei. nvm

16nov. went to east coast park with my family.

17nov. went out with anjhana. to check out the prices for the bbq food. thn we ended up in city hall, suntec city -.- LOLS! so ex lor e food. but we did enjoy ourselves XD oso went to the fountain of wealth. make a wished *wink* but i m not going to tell ya girl xP hahas.

18nov. got back class posting results. whootz. got into the class i wan =D lalalas. anjelica, anjhana, WANYING:], jess, ME:], germaine, farahin, NURUL:], PAT :], WENXIN xP, yiying, chekhui, kevin, sufi, jasper, MZ :](jk), mengchuan and jinhan. whoo lalala. 18 ppl altogether. hahas.

ytd. went for star camp briefing. aint i lucky? to get into same grp as wanping n two other sec ones? hahas. thn after that went to causeway with wanying. to eat deer meant xP thn bac to school for cca.

ytd. went to sleepover at cuz hse. wth. hate to eat with boys. at the table, all they tok abt i s games -.- hahas. lucky got cute pei yee to kill my boredom. n of coz my lovely sis aby ;]. hahas. so damn cute can both if them xP bt pei yee cuter coz she younger ma. lols. thn today went out with them to causeway again. met up with jing ru jie jie =D whootz. ages since i saw her. n she's just at my age. i mean at least the level sheis studying now la. but thn... so nice of her =D SHE'S SO DAMN COOL. i mean it. hahas. thn homesweethome.

i really don't know.
i really don't know.
i really don't know.
i really don't know.
i really don't know.
i really don't know.
i really don't know.
i really don't know.
i really don't know.
i really don't know.
i really don't know.
i really don't know.
i really don't know.
i really don't know.
she knows.
she knows.
she knows.
she knows.
she knows.
she knows.
she knows.
she knows.
she knows.
she knows.
she knows.
she knows.
she knows.
she knows.
she knows.
SEE THE PICTURE?!!

Lalala… so sian… hais…

Went to bugis with jie, tx, hh n germaine on thurs. bought a hoody n 2 t-shirts. Whooo lala. The t-shirts so damn nice can. Wish I can buy the whole shop down. Lol. Big dream xP but in the end only bought 2 la. Nt enuff $. -.-

Class outing!!!!!

In the morn keep calling mr lee. He finally oicked up the phone =D thn he gave us permission to be excused. Thn as usual, I was late. Met up with drey, jess, wy, wx n pat @ lakeside mrt. Thn we went to shop a whi;e @ vivo. We reached so damn early de lor. Lols. I simply love the wallet @ forever 21!!!! thn @ 11 met up with tx at 3rd flr. Took the monorial. First stop we alighted. Merlion -.- lameshit. Thn took the tram again to the beach station. We wan go palawan de but the sufi they all reach siloso ke, had a hard tym lookin for them. so damn hot de lo. Thn finally, found them at beach 3 ^-^ yiying, joan, grace, ash, jinhan, mark, sufi n marlyna they le. Lalala. Played beach volleyball a while thn go play in water. Interesting pics. xD hahas. Thn me,drey,tx n wx went to buy drinks. Pat n marlyna went home le =[ when we came back with C.H n don, the rest of them ready to go home -.- zz. Anw, we had fun too. Hahas. Played in the rian. Whootz. Made sand castles or rather draw on the sand. N oso played bball xP saw yihan lei. Hahas. Lalala… we spaent the last 20 min writing on sand. No one knew what I wrote xP hahas. I am proud of my art piece ~ thn went back to vivo at arnd 7. ch n don went home first. We girls ate at the chicken rice shop. The manager so damn gay de lor. Lols. Thn home sweet home =D

Ytd… stayed at home whole day. ‘cept going out to buy lunch. Sian. Today oso. Zz. Ltr mayb going to pasir ris. Or imm. With my stupid sis to see her stupid farenheit -.- ugh.

i am still trying veri hard ^-^ so damn hard. veri veri veri hard. so pls be by my side. pls. i will continue to smile. for u.

sourire même si se blesser

whootz. blogger back to mormal =D hahas. lol. sian la!!!! friday mayb not going to sentosa le :[ got cca. zz. nvm. heck care. go cca. learn more things =D lalala.



























ugh. there is something seriously wrong with my blogger. nvm. dun care

went to a party on sunday = great part. though only one hottie xP hahas. no la. but hte children there so damn cute can. played volleyball, dog and bone and captian ball with them. lol. the ball is those type small small de soccerball. hahas. nice one. there's this guy in my team : janon? 13yrs old. now here's the best part: ST JOSEPH INSTITUTION n... he is a rugby player!!!! be jeolous patricia. i know you will xP hahas. kinda perfect 'cept for his looks. erm... too guai le la. hmmmm.... what m i tokn abt? LOLS! thn at first we wnat play touch rugby de.. sad.. the girls dun wan. though i am one too. but thn nvm. we had fun. tnx to: heydan,mindy cherry charmaine jaraudine digland and yi min? duno her name. but we had fun. hope uncle gives me the pictures asap. lalala.

thn ytd went to school. @ first meet weiquan qisong wanying and tianxiao @ school gate 0830 de. thn suddenly god started to cry. ugh. my umbrella spoil. thn me n wanying athed in the rain -.- zz. thn when we reached sheng shiong with the taxi.. weiaun also reach le. thn we called qisong. he ay he cant come -.- wth. anw, wq is probably the onli one who is pissed off. so dunnie care de. hahas =X

thn went to co. lol. all the seniors nvr come. whoo. so good. not tt i dun like the seniors but w/o them lesser stress ma. hahas. thn mr wong damn joker de lor. started saying wad he is slimmer than mr nur!!!! hahas. so funny can! everybody is like laughing lor. lol. thn he tell erhu giurls to keep chanting these words outlouad:我是美女. hahas. si fun de lor ytd. lalalala. looking forwrd to tmr's practice =D

thn after co we went to pizza hut. me wanying tianxiao n jessica. lol. each of us paid $10.50 -.- so ex lor. tsk tsk. i no money liao!!! but thn eating wioth frens is sth u cant pay for it..................

leave if u wan to. i dun care.

Went to cca on friday. Surprisingly, mr lee came. Actually, expected de la. But he seems to be in the grouchiest mood ever. He made – cry. My god. Wanted her to play a thousand times. Siao. We just the note not up to mark ma. Need so serious ma? Watever. Thn he go mark her cello!!!! That’s the thing I feel like kicking his ass. Fuck lor. Mark till so ugly. Ugh. If one day he dares to touch my cello, he will get it frm me. I am out ta do anything for my precious cello! Lol. We ended the class by toking about the sec 3 trip to beijing. Hahass. Beijing roasted duck. Tianxiao ask casandra help her bring back to SG. LOLS! Joker lei tianxiao. Hahas. Things ended well. good

Befor I went off to school that day, I went to see someones blog. Come to think of it, it feel so stupid to feel that way. I am an idiot! Hahas. Lucky I nvr feel this way le =] lalala.

Hey girls. Listen up. We cannot cry!!!! I have nvr cried fyi. I mean in front of the cello bastard. No matter how many times, no matter how tired we are, NEVER SAY DIE ^-^ k? so lets work hard to our goal……….

Thn went back to sch AGAIN. Yesterday. For outreach. The last time!!! To nanhua pri. Lol. This time is the most most sian n oso most most fun one. hahas. Sian bcoz we tok nth. Fun bcoz I saw LELE!! Lalala.. long time no c her. She’s a lunatic. Lol. Thn joked with her a lot la.

Thn after the outreach, ms j and mrs ng(jacqueline) dropped me shalini yunhao n sijia off @ the mac near our school de. Lol.. gave us $25 for lunch. In the end, me and the senoirs took 6dollas n the remaining 7 dollars to shalini. She didn’t know tat. She in meeting with the councilors @ another table. Hahas. See. We so good. Give her $7 xP after that I went to taman jurong food centre to takeaway. Saw weiquan n his bro. thn home =D

i feel so damn happy de =D lol. Goal in life now issssssssssss: TO MAKE MORE FRENS(better if overseas de xP) hahas. Lalalalala…

Don't cry

please
i don't like tears
i m trying hard not to cry
so don't make me
by not doing so

please dear
give me a smile ^-^


To err is human............................





whoolala.









yeah. finally can blog le =D

lol. sk said i was going to look for him to play mahjong? scary lei. lol. he suffering frm erm.. whats that in english? whatever. suffering frm lao ren zhi dai zheng is it? anw, we will go visit u de sk. end of november =Dlalala.. get to see JOON HUI AND XUENI!!!!!!! whootz.

went to school for cca ytd. mr lee forgot got practice ba. s he was late. but thn when he reach u school n he couldnt find us n we didnt pick up his calls(we were practising REAL hard you see).. he left! was itt our fault? duno. hais.. thn he sent stella a msg saying that he dun wanna coach us anymore!!! =( shld be happy de. but still.. i feel uncomfortable. he's a good cher. hopes he come today.

thn afer cca went to taman jurong food centre with lain lain laogong! to takeaway. tok abt her dear mr ng. lol. thn home =D

fever -.- dumb me. Shldnt have ate lor mee. lol. now feeling better le. lalala

ytd night chatted with -----... wow... he can go be counselor =D lol. thanks alot for ur guidance. though i still feel that way.. but i am beginning to straighten out my tots. u r really good. near to perfect? except for ur dark secrets ba....

give me a smile :) lol. thank -----!!!! hahas. but i m not at all good. inner beauty... i am oso not sure of i now.... lol. listen up boi... U R GOOD! really.. go ask ur frens.... u r really good. much better than me. tnx anw..

reading through my messages.. n oso browsing through my phone.. i found alot of memories. really. amd this time i am smiling. though i still can feel the pain. it is really a big improvement. frm the past to now. GIVE YOURSELVES THE BIGGEST CREDITS EVER GUYS =]

let it go. let it go. let it go. let it go. let it go. let it go......

read someone's blog. again. n the disappointment is way much more than i could hold. much more thn the disappointment when i read -'s blog. dear me... i duno y i felt this way.. ugh.. give me a break

so damn damn damn emo now. cant go to work =[ ugh. sorry jess. i know! i know! i kow! scold me whatever u want. but still, i cant go to work. thats it.

went to read -'s blog
to add on to my day
great
actually
i shldnt be feeling anything
yet i did anw
guess thats it
i still cant get it
what exactly i am thinking
i know i am going crazy
and there's no cure for it
the cure lies within me
and yet i refuse to take it
i duno why
waiting for someone to feed me?



i will change my mindset de. this is the 157632425 i have said this week. but i hadnt do anything yet. i duno wad to do lor. whatever.

just send jie off to her o levels. good luck =D really hope can get ur desired results girl. though last minute memorise, u can do it de =D god bless u. jiayous!

so so so damn bored de lor. let me find sth to do first. go find a quiz now. or sth else. whatever. ~

1. The person who last tagged you is: wenxin
Your relationship with him/her is: she is one of my best frens. but i duno how about her.
Your five impression of him/her: bball lover. monkey lover. like to scold vulgar. hit me lots. n wild?
4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you: becoming my fren =]
5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you: hmmm.alot. but all is to cheer me up de.
6.If he/she become your lover, you will: thats totally impossible.
7. If he/she become your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be: undergo a operation to become a boy xP
8. If he/she become your enemy, you will: be damn sad de lor.
9. If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be: sure lies with me de. =/
10. The most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is : too much le. c first.
Your overall impression of him/her is: simply adore monkeys. hard to get her angry bt still, dun make her angry.
12. How you think people around you will feel about you?: ugly. talkative. cheerful? tokin crap. n a little bit horny xP
13. The characters you love of yourself are: E E M I N
14. On the contrary, the characters you hate yourself are: always thinking too much ='(
15. The most ideal person you want to be is: ireally duno. i am always not sastisfied.
16. For people that care and like you, say something to them: thanks lots guys. frens 4eva! =D
17. Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wished to know how they feel about you:
1. patricia
2. jessica
3. qi song
4. tian xiao
5. wen xin
6. aivin
7. yvonne
8. cherlyn
9. min jia
10. audrey
18.Who is no.6 having relationship with? lol. idk. hope he have one soon xP
19. Is no.9 a male or female? absolutely feminine =D
20. If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?ya rite. if they get to c each other first ba. lol.
21. What is no.2 studying about?Christianity! n some other stuff which makes her crazy xP hahas
22. When was the last time you had a chat with no.3? wow. that's ages ago. sad rite?
23.What kind of music band does no.8 like? idk lei. hmmmm...
24. Does no.1 have any siblings? yep. one bro
25.Will you woo no.3? no. coz i duno him n i think he is way too good for me xP
26.How about no.7? yes!! jk.jk. she's not my type -.-
27.Is no.4 single? nope! attached to me. hahas. no la. to zhan yi.
28.what is the surname of no.5? TAN. sux. xP jk.
29.What 's the hobby of no.4? thinking wild.
30. Does no.5 and 9 get along well? how would i noe? anw, they duno each other.
31.Where is no.2 studying at? stupid school. -.- jss
32.Talk something casually about no.1: fierce. lol. very perfectionist? n always very erm.. kk. her poems are damn nice de lor.
33. Have you tried developing feelings for no.8? yes. I LOVE HER!
34.Where does no.9 live at? taman jurong. n i m not going to reveal anymore. privacy.
35.What colour does no.4 like? duno lei. bright color ba.
36. Are no.5 and 1 best friends? quite good frens ba. same type de. always bully me TT
37.Does no.1 have any pets? nope. she is one herself.
38. Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world? haven seen her lately. n based on my memory, yes. ROAR!
39. What is no. 10 doing now? probably emoing =[

Whootz. E chalet is so damn fun =D so damn nice lor...

At first e stars were running damn late. Thn by e time i got home to change it was alr 7:30pm! Thn Wenxin told me she lost her way. Lol. So she had to wait for about an hour for me to go fetch her. Hahas. She was on the right track de lor. Lol. By e time we reached there, everyone there le lor. Jiacheng.eugene.maizheng.junhao.grace.joan.chekhui.Xihao.alvin.kevin.victor.yiying. Mr zhong oso lei! He's our 'chef'. Lol. Thn we put down our bags and ate! Lalala.. Thn nth to do ma. So go playground with Wenxin. Just played e swing a while thn go back. On e way back, we saw a soft toy vending machine. Tried to get e monkey out but can't. Thn when we get back, i asked alvin to help me get 1dollar coins. Thn he accompany me go change lor. Met a kind-hearted security guard=D thn exchanged for ten dollar de coins. Wa.. Hahas. Tried out 6 times! Thn got a soft toy finally! Though it is not what i wanted, but thn at least i have sth to remember abt e chalet ma.. Anw, Tnx alvin ^^ Thn we went back. N play bball lor. With kevin and mz. Thn mark Jc n eugene joined us ltr. Lol. Quite fun. Coz members are evenlly spread out. N kevin n mz oso got give me e ball. So good lor. Hahas. Thn after that i trained shooting in e ball. Ugh. Hitted e board. But thn i throwed too hard i tink. Thn bounced off. Ugh. One point i must improve. Lalala. We nvr slept lor. Whole night play psp, poker and watched tv. Lol. So damn funny de can? Comedies. Lol. Funny thing is tat i duno wad's e name of e movies. Hehe. Got slp a little la. But thn so cold. Wenxin took up e blanket. Thn junhao used e other one. So cold lor. Asked eugene lend me his hoody. 死都不要借. Hell. Thn after that tried again. He lent me =D got a good sleep ba.. Of 45min. Lol. My whole body was like covered up with pillows, my jacket n e hoody. So cannot see me. Thn Jc suddenly say who's this. Say i like a little girl. Wth. Pointed middle finger at him. For? Idk. Lol. How can he say he duno me?! Hahas. Anw, Tnx eugene ^^ Lalala.. Realised that i play games very wad de. Keep scolding vulgar. I play psp bball ma. E bball. If onli in actual my bball tat good thn tat's good. But impossible. Lol! Xihao hor. Really pig lei. Sleep so long still say tired. He slept e most lor! Lol. Pigs are pigs xP checked out thn went to imm to eat. Pig eugene n mark went back home first. Thn e rest of us go kopitiam. Sth happened lor. Don't feel like sayin it. I will scold whatever i want in my personal blog ~


Open house finally finished. Hahas. It’s over. =D so damn tired de lor. But actually, it was quite fun. ‘cept for the waiting part. Lalala. Surprisingly, ytd we dun have to drag till veri long. We finished at our expected time. Lol. Y e previous dry runs cannot like this lei? Weird.

Thn after that, we went to jp. Weiquan went too lei. So damn rare. Of coz must go oso la. Hahas. Went to kopitiam to eat. Me tianxiao wanying weiquan chek hui kevin and sharlene. Ate shark fins soup. Thn after that went to basement to but bubble tea. Weiquan FINALLY paid off one out of the five he owed me. Lol. Thn go but nugget. So damn funny de lor when it came to chek hui’s turn. Hahas. Laughed till my stomach hurts. xP thn took 157 wif chek hui back to home.

now at home so sian.. thinking of... my frens... n .... duno. lol. wad e hell i toking abt?

I wish I was cady. How lucky she is. I m jealous ~

Jiayousgirl
Uwillgetwhatuwantsomeday
Asforme
Dontworry
Iamusedtoit
Usedtonotgetingwhatiwant

i seem to see the happy ending
except that i am not in the story
and he is
good luck

Ugh
Too much things bottled up
I cant take it
Yet I cant cry
I really miss you
Go emoing le
hais

lalala.. sian..

so damn tired de lor. just now presented to marlyna. she kaobei de lei. hahas. so fun to present to her. thn kevin n mz tok abt the tea appreciatoin tok till everyone laughin out loud. LOLS!

ytd chattedwith mingsian till 11 plus.=D thn i fell asleep halfway xP sorry. fun to tok to him. hahas.

I LOVE NUMBER 13!!!! whooz. n oso no.10 n no.8 =

lalalalalalala...

我真的难过。无话可说。
我。。。

麻木了
麻木了
是时候
接受事实

安静的夜晚
我独自在月光下思考
相了一整夜
我还是想不通

@##$%^&*()(*&^%$#$%^&*&^%$%^&^%$&*(*&^%$#$%^()P(*^$#@

imstillthinkingabouthtedream
dwellingonit
butitwontbetrue
itsjustsonear
yetsofar
iratherineverwakeup
selfishlyleavemyfrensandfamilybehind
andforeverstayinthatdream

blahblahblah

lalala.. went to school today for open hse prep. ugh. waste time lor. hell. tmr still have to come back TT blast to hell ba fat ass!!!!!

i m jus a toy
created by god
to be played
to be fooled
by selfish people
who don't care about me
who don't care for my thoughts
who can only see what they need
not what i need
being a toy is sometimes fun
but it depends
on who is my owner
so far
i only met one suitable
and no one else
but thn
the one is just a passing stranger
i simply hate them
hate god
if really
i must go through hardships before i know what is happiness
how long must i wait?
u mean those who are enjoying now
they will live in misery in the future?
i am going crazy

i m veri bad rite? fancy cursing them to live in misery. i m no longer me. driven my hatred. hatred for? i oso duno. god. i think i need go change my mindset. bye.

thedreamistoobeautiful
iwokeup
tofindmyselfcrying
howiwishiwillneverwakeup

i feel like i m just a toy

created by god

to be played by u guys

n fooled

n tortued

我的自尊心又再次受了伤。cant imagine how i can still sit here with my frens smiling. 我很难过但说不出口。

sian... need stay at home... @%&*#! i wan go bugis n queensway today de lor!!!! ugh. after today no free day le la. damn pissed off!!! aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!! wan to do chinese homework de. but thn lost everything =P so cant do lor. anw, the mt hmw seems quite fun ma. lol.

i was thinking what if one day i suddenly lose my memory? i mean u noe tyko tyko get into accident thn lose my memory. if given a chance, who would i chose to remember? dad? mum? jie? mei? who? i seroulsy duno. there is so much i wan to remember. i cant chose.i need at least 100 chances ba. lol. the more tink about it, the more serious i get. tsk tsk. always like this de.

damn bored de lor. top-uped my card le =D yeah. but thn no one to tok to. so if anyone veri sian oso.. please sms me.. lol.

我相信任何生命都会有它该走的路，有它的精彩。我在等待我的精彩。

lets start frm friday ba..

went to school for the open housse prep. skipped CO for it. shldnt have skipped lor. so stupid of me to do so. i would haved missed out so much things T.T thn went for lunch de shi2 hou4 lost the key. everyone looking for it. in the end i left it at the wondows there. so irresponsible of me lor. could have killed myself for that! but i didnt. hehe. presentation time. no chance. ms tham nvr come to e panel room. really waste of time lor. stupid. after that went to mac for dinner. thn go out wif my mum agin for dinneer. ate dessert =D

ytd...

went for the outreach at jurong pri. lol. so many school oso got go. interesting. yiying and wanping forgot to bring their changing room and laptop. LOL! go there did nth. so they helped me and wanying out at our booth =D i saw kelly!!! hahaas. got her number. and catched up each others life. thn we went wif the sec ones for 'exchange program'. nia its just exchanging our school's leaflets and pens with other school de. hahaha. quite fun. n found out that qiwei is actually such a flirt. stupid人妖. thn went to the mac at duno wad cc. forget le. thn i saw minjia!!!!! long time nvr see her le. MISS HER SO MUCH!!! =] hahas. thn found out she actuallly oso went to jurong pri! but she @ the hall. zz. stupid人妖. shldnt have listen to u. shld have stayed at the hall -.- thn tok abt the upcoming SYF. xchnaged some info. shhhh.. hahas..

asked yvonne and cherlyn to join us at nite for the ytcc performance. in the end they nvr coe ='( but it's ok. lets meet up when yvonne comes back frm india. n good luck to yvonne =D u noe wad i m tokin abit =P

thn went to the yewtee performance. i was late =P so i asked kaiqin n wanying to go to yewtee first while i head to yewtee alone. lol. thn we lost our way when walking to ytcc. lol. wanying's fault. led us to wrong directon =P tsk tsk. hahas. by e time we rached ytcc alr 7 pm le. thn we walked to a mall or wadever is that near ytcc. ate instant noodles/spaghetti bought at 7-11. thn walked back. just in time. my god. saw someone! MING SIAN! lol. nt veri interesting. coz i always see him at my hse there. bt surprised ba.. he will actually go to such stuff like this de. no offence =P

went back home. i got down the mrt @ jurooong east. wy and kq went to boon lay. thn i was alone lor. went to shop the pasar malam. hahas!

ming sian looked quite shuai ma.

this looked like lian lian lei. lol. got fu1 qi1 xiang4

wanying and kaiqin




this few days quite happy =D hahas. nth to make me sad ba. good. n i dun dare to post anything bcoz of C.H! -.-

lalala. so damn bored now. zz. waiting for ms tham to come into panel room. wait for so long le lor!!!!! wth. bt i quite nervous lei. coz i duno how to face ms tham. more comfortable facing e VPs ba. more friendly. not like her 脸臭臭的。 hahas.

boring-est day of my life. not really. but hais.. hope that i can come back more to school for star.not cca. hehe.

tmr going to YTCO. =D to see their performance. whooz. dunie stay at home. stucked at home. lalalala..

and.. tnx to sharlene and anjhana's reminder.. maizheng so damn shuai de when he gets serious!!!! whoo. hahas. nia, - better. more cool and shuai.

imissyousomuch
loveyousomuch
butthntiswrong
totallywrong
hais
imtotallyloss



lalalala... okay day. hais. last day of school.

went off at 8:40am to outreach at clementi primary school. the achool so damn nice de lor. veri new. n we took the lift =P hahas. thn we found out that clementi town was actually wanping's ex-pri schl! lol. dun be jealous C.H. hahas. the stupid part abt the whole thing is that we had to satnd for like a total of 1/2 hours for each round of class. n there are 3 classes! my god. leg veri tired. thn me n wanying had to tok like crazy abt the star to the students wif onl less than 5 min of time. zz.. but thn.. there de students all quite clever.. 6/10 i spoke to got prelim results 240-260. but thn.. think they will waste their future of they come into star =P no offence to star lovers. i m confirm not one. hahas. thn went back to school.

school end le ='( bad ending lor. didnt even say goodbye. hais. to tink my sec2 yr will end like this. so pathetic lor. hais.. not good at all. hais.. stupid outreach la! zz.. heard that some ppl cried? o.O for those hu cried, come o. me and wy n yy n shiny have better reasons to cry coz we didnt get to spend time wif our frens lor. sad case.

thn get back our report books. i was so damn damn damn disappointed with myself. hais.. my class n level position. wanna go bang my head le. zz..

thn watched them play bball. sian.

thn went back home. tot over alot of things. i dun wan the yr to end like this TT it is just so unfair. bt thn. if nxt yr start off with a good one.. i may be able to let go of this yr ba. hopefully.

i tot i had forgotten it.
but i hadnt.
when i heard abt it.
i was like
pang
feel so faint
i knew it long ago
but didnt want to face up to reality.
it hurts you know?
coz the words are harmless
tat's y they peirced my heart
and it broke into
tens
hundreds
thousands
millions
billions
zillions
........

Very bad day for me. Plus think my year going to end like this. Tat's e worst part. With two frens less. I tink. Hais..

Went to e coastal sands today for rock climbing. Nvr got e chance -.- hais..

Thn went back to school.

Eat lunch.

Go star. Did e thing for open house.

Then go play bball. At first with jess sharlene mc n anjhana de. Thn Weiquan they all join us. Thn jess they all walked away. Thn (blah blah blah ). I kinda spoiled e day )= hell. But really not mean to lose control de. Bcoz too many things happen today le. Sorry guys.

Hais.. I regreted it very much. Not going to sms anyone ever again le. I mean someone i duno. I really didn't noe things would turn out this way. N they're rite. I m ass cb bitch busybody. N whatever they scold me. Didn't know tat i m actually like tat. In my good fren de eyes. I really didn't know tat i had been actin bitch ass cb. If she had told me earlier, i would have change. Really.

I m really sorry sorry sorry sorry. Promise would not go disturb her le.

In love once again =D bt quite shocked that i will like him la. if this time anyone still knows hor.. i will go bang my head le =P coz nvr in their dreams will they link him with me =D best part of it. anw, sorry to u. for the time being, lets just leave things this way. coz i dun wanna stead. plus i gt more important things thn u...

i am always like that?
your sms say wad
i everytime like this de
ass cb bitch
anw,tnx for letin me know this
n u dun have to put up with me le.

itreallyhurtme
ijustcantstopcrying

nvr blog for 4 days le! miss ya! lol! lets start frm.. wedneday first...

Lalala..

Depavali n hari raya puassa? celebrations today. Sorry if i spelled wrongly. Hehe.. Not interestin...

Thn got e sec two streaming assembly talk.. Zz. Need choose subject le. I duno wad to choose le.. In the past i was so sure that i wan to go into triple sci n elective hist de class. Now i am not sure. Coz i dun tink i can qualify.. Hais.. Headache..

Thn went to the wad singapore bienniale. Art exhibition. Quite fun? No. Only good thing is e art work we see. Yup. Quite nice. But veri hot lor. Zz.

Thn went back to sch. Hell. Wait for 1 hour for them to finish..

Then go c them play bball lor. Thn go home. Sian..

thn thursday....

fisrt two hours d/t. watched this movie called 'the choir'. it was nice. so cuuuute the pepinot. lol!

thn chinese lesson. the wad deng1 mi2 mini competition. stupid la.

hist. stupid mr banana. y cannnot free time? damn sian de lor at his lesson.

science. ran arnd the achool wif shalini for the outreach interview thingy.

thn after school did the art thingy. lol. redo the whole thing and we even finished =D surprised. lol. tot that we would take one whole day. lucky we ver efficient. compleed the project w/o jinhan. hahaha. wanted him to come in simply bcoz wanna c some good show =P i ver bad lei.

thn go se the interclass. weiquan yiying kevin n yuehchyn against 2-2 ppl for floorball.lost. bt rather entertainign for he spaectators. rough lei them. thn after that played bball in the rain. lol. thn eveyone kena scolded by mr nur. hahas.

thn we played cathing =D long time snce we played that. me wanying weiquan yiying kevin yuehchyn brandon. thn first time tio tricked by yuehchyn n kevin. second time tricked yiying =P thn sth funny happended =D kevin ran into the bush. hahahas. should have taken a photo. but sad la. LOL! thn i fell down when chasing after brandon. wth. damn painful de.

thn went home.

thn sth happended. can onli use this to say what happened :

Laughin when i left e school
smiling when i walked to the bus stop
happy when i board the bus
same situation when he alighted the bus
still smiling when she alighted the bus too
sad when the bus finally took turn
in pain when the bus reached e mrt station
despondent when i reached my stop
despair as i walk home
crying when i reach home.

hais.. so emo lor. bt no one will ever knows wat happen. eh.. got someone. but he knew onli part of it bt thn he wont know that that would hv a link with this.

friday!!!

dun wish to say it. lazy..


Everyday,
some one,
something,
will be out to destroy my day.
All I wanted is to be happy.
Is that too much to ask for?
I think I should give up being happy.
Just give up.
When she is crying, she had his hug.
When I am crying, I had me.
my self-esteem is constantly is being hurt... =(

lalalala... what a great day today is! hahas. i m tryin to be sarcastic fyi. lol.

first of all... my results -.- damn lan de. veri lan. veri veri veri lan. lol. hais.. deproved alot alot alot alot alot alot lei. though improved from last time CT la. but deproved frm mid-year. i have absolutely the right to be cryin but i m not =P lol. nit dooms day anw ma. lets make a comeback a sec 3! =D to those who scored not too idealistic( so kevin shailin joan C.H wy etc shouldnt feel sad at all) :

CHEERS UP GUYS! we can still work hard for next year ma!!! no use crying over spilled milk rite? so jus be sad for a tiny little while thn cheer up lor! ^-^ hahas. anw.. it is jus that some ppl their luck is better than us. not always that lucky de ma. as long as we had worked hard.. it doesnt matter coz we did our best =D for those who did not work hard.. turn your regretment to motivation to do better nxt year! =)

hais.. despite saying all this.. i admit i am a bit disppointed la. coz i tink i put in quite alot of hard work. but i knew i didnt do my best. so its kinda expected for this kind of results. so i had cheer up le. =]

went for the outreach today quite a nice trip =D lalala... the kids there so damn cute. I LOVE THEIR UNIFORM!!! hahas. assembly time : oks three silent claps. clap! clap! clap! shh. one silent. clap. clap! shh. LOL! reminded me of primary school life. miss them.. n we will be handing down the baton to pat and weiquan or kevin =D whoooooooz...

thhn got art exam paper.. hahas.. after that me pat jasper y wait ofr wq to finish his paper. thn we started complainin abt mr ~. ok mr banana. HAHAHA! we sa his face distorted de. hahas. i mean.. wai de.. lol. so funny.

* kevin ask y i dun like wanying. not that i dun like her. lol. i love her. as a sister. hahas. but thn i dun like my mum comparing my results with her. in fact I HATE IT! simply dun like it. coz my results are very low compared to wanying's de. n wanyin keep sayin she nvr study yet get so high. onli two possibilities. she study but dun wan tell us. or she is that smart in the first place.


these few weeks alot of things happen le. i tot over it le. i learnt how to let go certain things. though i may be sad.. but i feel carefree. at least i am happy. but there is a part of my happiness that is wrong. that part of me is happy bcoz of other ppl's wound. i am happy jus to see that bitch miserable. missing out somethings. this is veri bad of me. but i dun care le. that bitch had once made me so miserable.. i dun have to do anything now. jus that that bitch think too much le. thats why she is miserable. so i am actually not being bad at all. is the way that bitch sees things. oh god.. i better stop using bitch le. use - . hahas... yup. so long - . i am so carefree now =D

what i want - wants.
what i once had
and now dun wan
- also wants it.
if i am a despo,
thn wad abt - ? LOL! one more thing!! :

if u want it,
just take it,
dun have to bat arnd the bush.
nia. will even despise u more.
u wont want that.
trust me.

G------- ------- -- ------

sorry i cant write on further. i need time..

lalalala.. went to school today.. cca.. zzz.. recieved the new timetable.. good. dunnie go genting le. lol.

friutful day today. realise that how some ppl love to hack into my blog and hotmail. cont to hack ba. i dun care. lol. i cant see y i cant express my hatred. while others can. n u did nth to them. blah blah blah. hack lor. i delete the blog lor. the memories... i dun care le. jus to put up a fight. i wil delete the blog worst come to worst. thn u cant do anything le. HAHAHA. hmp!

i now thn realsie that i can love my life as happy as i wan as long as i am not restricted. hahas. no one can stop me. hackers etc. too bad. obstacles are things that we see them as. they wont if we looked frm another angle. blah blah blah. stupid. i am so smart =D

i think i can write out word by word day by day le. i mean (greatest credits to qisong) word per day. i try =]

G------- ------- -- ------

hahas.. congratz to me =D

he say that one day someone wil truly make me happy de.. but must wait lor. and i blive wad he says. i will wait. thnx alot. ur princess will come too. hahas. my prince will too. =] but in the meanwhile.. clear up this mess first!! hahas. realise tokin to him is always a pleasure. always feel much much better =] tnx lots.

shakespeare's dialogue doesnt exist anymore..

Sian.. Stucked at home =( cant go out. Stupid sis la. Zz.. Now listening to song =) I love them. whoo. Ltr if gt tmie will cont watching they kiss again.lalala. Lol.

Got a piece of veri veri veri veri veri veri veri terrible news. Wtf. The presentation to lakeside pri is postponed to TUESDAY!!! During CHECKING OF SCRIPTS!!! Hell. I m nt going to let anyone handle my paper. I dun wan them to know my marks =( hell. i hope further postponed to wed =( I damn pissed off de lor. Tot – promised not to let me present le. Stupid la. Zz. Hahas. Lucky weiquan also cant check his scripts =P I veri bad lei. Bt thn too bad. If I am a rulangnite.. Thn why lakeside student can escape frm this trouble? Hmp!


N to the fcuking bastard.. So what if I nvr reply? I cant. Phone no money le. Dun u get it? Stupid dog! Fuck off la. Zz. idiot. Anw I dun wan his name to appear on my blog.

我想我还是不够成熟
还达不到 你的要求
我真的没有想的太多
只是怀念 你走以后
离开 难道真的是解脱
难道 真的要事过境迁了以后才懂
倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有
倔强抬起头 决不让眼泪往下流
倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有
真的不难过 笑着和你挥挥手
我想我还是不够成熟
还达不到 你的要求
我真的没有想的太多
只是怀念 你走以后
离开难道真的是解脱
难道 真的要事过境迁了以后才懂
倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有
倔强抬起头 决不让眼泪往下流
倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有
真的不难过 笑着和你挥挥手
如果有一天 我们有缘在见
你会不会想起 说过的永远
倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有
倔强抬起头 决不让眼泪往下流
倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有
真的不难过 笑着和你挥挥手


Really hope I can post big big on my blog : greatest credits to qisong =) but for the meanwhile I cant. But must jiayou me lei. If u wan to have the privelege to see ur name on my blog =P lol.

sian.... nothing to do.. stucked at home today with my little sis.. stupid... lucky at2pm she go out eat with dad.. thn watch they kissed again =) so damn nice lor... lalalala... also got practice cello... but all the 4 strings zou yin le.. zz... so jus practice fingering... hope on monday di=unnie go lakeside pri sch.. thn i get to officially hug my laopo le =) lol.

hmmm... now trying to solve one question qs=isong posted to me.. hahas.. feel so dumb lor.. 5 5 5 1. use any isgn (+ - / or x) but must be equals to 24.. nice one... tand.. solved =) shld be the ans a.. ltr ask him for the ans lor..

welcome =) i am referin to the new neighbours in our block.. lol. the son quite good-looking ma.. chatted with him for a while.. thn have hao gan ba... lol... quite nice ma..

i am simply in love with both of them.. think after finishing the dvd.. i going on to read the manga =D lalala



lalala.. feel like bangin my head.. my dear computer.. nvm. today's maths paper.nvr finish TT. die liao. nvr even check lor. ass..

EXAMS FINALLY OVER LE!! YEAH! but i kinda wish it would nvr end... bcoz nth to keep me busy le..thn qisong tell me start revising for nxt year syllabus. LOL! lalala... and CONGRATZ!! to qisong who can get into a maths and pure. lol. so good. lalalala...

after exam go see them play bball.. so hot lor... sun tanin there =P thn went to food centre to eat with wenxin. thn home =)

Did a survey n asked some people this question : are you happy? Tis r e replies :

Wanying: wad do you mean? 2) No. I not happy. Why leh?

Eugene: 1)huh? 2)( iforgotle) 3) Zz i really duno.

Qisong: Not really bah, in school not leh, but with outside friends still Okay bah, but i believe it will improve. Hahas. Just believe tt life will improve

sharlene: not really.... ( contents confidential )

lol. i m not happy fyi.

so HAPPY yet so sad... zz... i found a new goal in my life!!! to find ways to become ------.. lalala.. i will do it n i can. bt thn the reson for my goal not worth it lor.. lol. still.. i will cary on with my plan.

hais.. u win. i admit i m jealous. bt i also cant do anythin. jealous for? stupid reason la. envious of her.. how i wish i can be her. bt that's impossible.. lol. nvm.. i am contented with beibg me =) or am i? idk. lol








Really totally disappointed with myself. Ytd's science papers... I was like.. A dumbo? To think i studied so much and in the end i feel like there's no diff if i never study. Hmt. Quite okay. Anyway, i don't put my hopes on hmt. Today's history paper. I didn't finish. I feel like kicking my ass. I never finished!!! I knew the answer! Hais.. Jiayou. Tmr last paper! But i don't wish exams to come to an end though.


Ytd got back malay paper. Wtf. Got so low mark. Fuck is the first word i tot when i saw my results. And then the next word is bitch -.-



i did
trymy best
but i couldn'tunderstand.
I wish that someone would
enlighten me.
No one would.



Ifigomissingoneday.. Willyounotice?

lalala... i change my blog url le!!! private blog de la.. www.healing-crybaby.blogspot.com. anyone wanna link? lame.. link le also cannot see. hahas.. so shuang lor.. onli me can see =) feeling so happy now..coz going out with kor n jie-in-law after exams =) YEAH!

Lalala.. Sux like hell today.. Let's start with english paper 2. Did e whole paper with a stomachache.. Hell.. Thn D/t.. I nvr revise much.. But got revise e notes frm my fren la... Of coz must read.. Or else photocopy like 白费 effort le...

After that me n pat took bus 98... To e jurong green cc there.. Thn wait for 185 for long time.. Zz. Thn i go buy food to help me through studying..

Though i can't fantasize abt kx le.. I found new one.. My god. Crazy over them le.. I found things to indulge in le! Hahas.. I simply love 183 club n 7朵花... N zhang shao han.. Nan quan mama.. N jay chou! Hahas.. Crazy over their songs le.. Lalala.. Finally can fantasize le.. So happy.. Hahas..

Today read someone's blog.. Read till tears come out. Stupid me. But really love e blog. Hahas.. Actually is two blogs. Yup. Really envious of them. 祝你们幸福快乐 =)

My house is not a home where i seek warmth from. It is just a shell to cover up e world where i indulge in my darkness.

Today watch a show. 爱情魔法师... Watch befor le.. Thn nth do ma.. Watch again lor...Typical happily ever after. Everyone is happy. But i am not.. Hais..

会痛吗？

不会。

一点都不会？不相信！

真的真的。我已经感到非常的疲惫了。感受不到痛苦。

this above conversation is between - n - but not me.

N there's still one last thing!

I lost it. Where is it? It's gone. I forget where i last saw it le.. This despair is even greater than my break up(anw i felt nth for this)... Where did it go? Without it, i feel so lost. Now i really have nth le.. Hais.. Hais.. Even a non-living thing also don't wanna stay by my side.. Without it, i feel so insecured... Hais.. Bye.

i must be outta my mind. driven crazy by me.

Lalala… nth to do… let’s start wif ytd. Hell… at first wanna go study de thn my dad want me to take care of my sis.. zz.. bt thn manage to escape n watch them play bball.. thn went to jp wif wenxin thn back home…

I shall only allow one week =) allow for? i m nt going to say it outloud here.. unless i make this blog private too...

Tmr D/T!!! and English paper 2.. I duno wad to learn lei for d/t.. so many things to memorise.. headache arhx..

我不是一个打不死的蟑螂。not like someone =P

Piang.. this is wad I felt when I heard the word. Wad word? Duno. I am going crazy le as usual. Mayb bcoz I am nt even sad or wad.. that is y I m goin crazy.. hais.. beginning to think I m devoid of feelings.. OMG!! Tat couldn’t happen!!! No feeling how to go like someone else? Hahas.. lalala.. still e same old thing I tell qisong SINGLE ROCKS! This applies the same to u(erm I will tell u personally that it refers to u girl)..

Tnx alot to qs. I will be busy de =) hahas.. nt busy thn go kajiao u lor.. hahas..

雨天。。。我喜欢那种畅快淋漓的感觉

Geog paper today!!! Wad e hell.. I study so much but still feel like i goin to fail lei.. Zz.. I tink difficult lor.. Thn hmt paper one.. Yeah! E topic simply rock like hell.. Being a teenager.. Wa.. I write alot lei.. Lol. Nice topic to write ma.. Alot things.. Thn gong han i write 3 pages.. All tgt i wrote 6 pages full plus two lines. Hahas... Lalala..

Then after tat went to play bball at last week de place lor.. Hahas.. Me, Wanying, yiying, jasper, alvin, jinhan, junhao, kevin, victor, maizheng and jiacheng. Me n Wanying nvr play la.. Went to e playground there n.... Hmp. Dun wan write out. Hahas.. Our secret. Thn we went home!

I wan go home sleep! Damn tired de lor.. 4 1/2 hours of sleep only.. Cant take it la!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO VICTOR! Hahas... Fourteen le... Yeah.. Now only left germaine, pat, me, wenxin n junhao. Hahas..

i have another announcement to make =)

for the last time... i am saying all this.

i have never regretted being with you. and at least we are both serious =) I LOVE YOU. hahas.. my last time... MUACKS dear =)

hope u dun mind....

i am taking it quite well... surprisingly.. coz i have grown up le =) n i learnt to let go fast..

SINGLE ROCKS!!

Lalala.. Blog Blog Blog! Lol. Lemme start wif day befor ytd de paper... Ok la.. Not difficult de.. But not veri easy too.. E chinese compo.. I wrote complain.. Coz i got study for it ma.. Lol. I veri 贱 lei.. Lalala.. Thn e part two de i wrote abt being late.. Lol. My habit lei.. Hahas.. But i write until very sad lor.. I mean i imagine till veri sad.. Like real de.. Lol. I too imaginative le... Thn e paper 2 i veri early do finish le.. Thn nvr check.. Bad girl. Psk. Psk. Hahas..

Ytd..Chinese.. Did abt e global warming whatever de.. Lol. Quite interestin.. But i wasn't listening.. Emoin.. Lol!

Science.. Bio! Went through wad to learn for eoy.. Wa.. Alot lei.. Zz. But i love bio. =)

maths. Also went through wad to learn for eoy..

English.. Gt back compreh de results.. Sux. 17/30! Walao.. But will do better de in eoy =)

cme. Got test. Lol. Give all e goody goody type ans can le ma. But for some questions i nvr. I really wrote wad i tink.. I so honest. =P

hmt. Zz. I nvr hand in all e hw. But.. I handin up on thursday la.. Since wanying also hand in le.. Decide to break e promise le.. Since she also broke le w/o tellin me or whatever. N ask her she only came up with crap. Hais.. But also dun blame her.. Only blame myself for being so 天真 .. Hais..

Dun feel like smsing = ignorin me. Tat's wad i feel la.. Quite.. Sad... When i saw this msg.. Also emoin this morn over this msg.. Hais.. But thn i sorted out my thoughts le.. Wad can i do? I jus feel sad coz e promise u once made nt to ignore me is now broken. BUT like i said.. I dun care le... Coz..

I think livin for some unpractical promises is very tiring.. I cant breathe le.. Too much empty promises made not good for health.. But i tot abt it le.. I wont live for promises le.. I will forget everything.. Except for somethings la.. Hahas.. But i will forget tat me n you once started befor.. So if u still wan me.. Lol.. Thn chase me.. But if you dun wan.. Thn i tink game over.. Lalala.. Hope you read this post! I will remind you de.. Mayb mayb not.. Lalala.. dear, when u see this post click here. i explain it in my blog... It's nice to forget everything.. But somethings jus cant be forgotten.. Etc dislikin someone.. Lol.

But thanks alot. I DECIDE TO LIVE MY LIFE HAPPILY EVER AFTER! Lol. Like fairytale.. But is true de.. Thanks a lot to -- for your blessin.. I will be happy de.. Will bring your 祝福 to where ever i go. It's enough...

Me, lau ee min swear to god and earth and most important of all to --, from tomorrow onwards, i will live my life happily. If not, (as long as i know can le).

I m smilin.. And cryin.. Not cryin la.. Teary.. When i saw --'s msg.. Not emo de.. Is happy.. Hahahaha.. Finally i am smilin sincerely. =) you must be happy forever too!

Oh dear.. My timetable too packed le.. Shit.. STUDY!!!

Lalala.. Today startin of eoy! Not really start la.. But first paper.. First two i mean.. Eng paper 1 and literature paper.. Zz. E compo.. I tink i wrote out of point le.. N e literature. Question one nothing to write de lor.. 25 marks bye bye le.. Sad.. Lucky i got study e themes... Phew did come in use.. N sorry to weiquan.. If i lend u earlier you would have more things to write abt le. Sorry .

Thn after tat chinese oral.. Wth.. My conversation topic.. Wad decorate school.. Zz.. Nth to tok abt de lor.. First time i got prompted so many times.. Hell.. But lucky my points are quite strong ba.. Plus my 口才 not good.. So it's normal.. Lol.

Thn after tat went to see them play bball.. On the way on bus 243 me yy tx n pat discuss who is our dar dars.. Hahas.. Thn me pat n yy out of e three names we have weiquan is one of ours.. But he my number two la.. Same for yy.. My number one lei? Shhh.. Secret. Now on second tots.. No dar dar le. Pissed off! ... Lalala.. Heard tat both eugene n brandon got fall down.. N eugene de still got style de. Lol! Thn eugene maizheng jiacheng and who else arhx? Duno.. They all went back home first.. Thn left me pat yy tx kevin vic alvin junhao brandon.. Play match. Lol. Like extra..

Thn went home.. Met jianie.. Tok for abt 20 minutes. Alot of things to catch up on. She say i mature le =D n change alot le. Tnx lots.. Lucky nvr say i childish.. Hahas.. Lalala.. Took her number.. Thn she promised to help me. =)

i tink i m veri fan. So i dun wan sms anyone le. Since no one replies to my msgs de.. Hais.. Totally speechless le.. You win. Shut up. I also dun care. Promises made will be broken. I know tat. So when u promise you won't ignore me de.. Tat means one day you will. Ytd n today. U broke ur promise.

Feeling empty
something is missin
but i dunno wad it is
i just have to wait
let time pass by
and let e truth be dawn upon me..
So please keep quiet for a while..
And let me have a rest..I
wan to be shut off from the outside world..
Can i?

going to post on ytd de and today de events.. lalala...


Lalala..

Chinese.. Same.. Copy 造句.. Also nvr copy.. Lol.

Science.. Mr loh nvr come again... Zz. Thn he expect us to knows how to do e paper?! He crazy le..

Recess. F2f talk with jinhan. I thrashed out everything le.. But he.. Wtf.. Say wan tok in e end nvr say anything.. Thn ltr in class sms me wad we need to tok.. Crazy.. One chance n no more.. Too bad.. Pls dun sms me le..

Maths.. Zz. I got 16/20.. Sad lor.. But will do better de=)

english.. Practisin lor.. For the presentation..

History remedial.. Me n pat confessed we nvr do. We got do lor.. Jus nvr bring ma.. Zz.. But also.. Y we confessed arhx? Coz maizheng there n standin there can admire eugene.. Jk. Hahas..

Left early for higher mother tongue..

Presentation.. Wa.. This time duno y so nervous.. But this time de most fun.. Teachers all keep laughin.. For? I duno.. Tat's thn e funny part.. Hahas... But good job.. =) thanks alot to Qisong n ______ for you all de Jiayous! Love you hun!

Hais.. So tired.. Lalala.. I simply adore mrs jacqueline ng! She rocks.. Yeah! Hahas... Actually dunno y not veri nervous la.. Wad i wrote on top exaggerate le? Idk. But with ______ support.. I feel so blessed.. Lol. One more thing! E wad god open a window de.. 7 ppl send back to me! I am loved! Hahas..N one more.. Went to buy oreo crush.. Thn ming sian there also.. Thn jus look at him lor. Said nth.. Thn his drink came le thn he walked off.. Thn suddenly his voice : hi. Thn i say hi. This is e conversation :

mx:你不认识我了meh?
me:认识啊！
mx:怎么没有说话lei?
me:在等你开口嘛。
mx:为什么要等？不会先说的arh?
me:现在不是开口了吗？！
mx:哦，ok bye bye
me:bye bye.

Veri veri funny lei.. He Damn cute.. Hahas.. N forgot to take his number.. Sad.. And most important of all! Chong junhao's number!! Wan go bang my head liao..

I will do it. I will forget. For him. I will. =)

thats meant to post ytd de... bt no time... now for....


Today!

English.. Wth.. Copy sentences.. Zz. Very tiring de lor..

Maths.. Do 2006 de paper 1. Lol. Difficult lei. Or i think i too stupid le..

History.. Do inference.. Think quite borin..

Geog.. Did e six mark question.. Hell.. Redo it.. Teacher kinda hinted where e focus shld be =P Hahas.. Thn also went through erm.. Bukit panjang govern high de paper... Okay la.. Think tmr finishin it up..

Science.. Replaced by geog. Mr loh nvr come again.. Zz.

Thn after sch went to jp. N wth.. Wanying saw us thn jus walk down the stairs. Zz. We wan call her go eat with us de lor.. Zz. Thn met her at bus stop.. But thn.. Hais.. Dun wan tok abt it le..

Went to kopitiam to eat.. Thn keep jokin lor. Lol.

Thn went to jp library study.. They three studied i nvr.. Reading storybooks.. Hahas..

Thn went home. Tat's e thing.. E main limelight of my day?Oks.. This is e story..

I saw her. Not her but someone who resembles her.. I was like stunned.. Cant be her mei de.. As far as i remember, she has no siblings.. Hais.. I saw her in the girl.. Thn i tot alot. Reflected.. She is e one.. My greatest motivation.. Ya.. I have motivation like ______.. But she.. Is e greatest motivation of all.. Sad is not Wanying.. Is her.. I finally know e answer le. To who can be compared with Wanying or is there anyone more important than Wanying. Is her. Her n only her. E answer is always in my heart.. Hais.. I have been slackin.. But when i saw e little girl today.. I woke up. I came to realise i had to start workin hard. I must not let her down. I am sure tat one day, when i am successful.. I will meet her.. Coz she will just be as successful. We will meet. Long time no see girl.. I miss you.. Give her a tight hug. Ya.. I will do tat.. For years, in vain, i hoped tat we will meet. But no. How nice if i can go back to e past.. Hais.. But.. Cant. Too bad.. As i was walkin home.. When i finally lost sight of e little girl.. I found tears.. Hahas.. Silly me.. But tears of? I duno.. I jus miss her veri veri much.. How are you? Where are you? Are you happy? Lots n lots n lots n lots n lots n lots of question to ask. And words to tell her.. I believe.. Tat one day, we will meet.. Jus believe in her n me.. =]


i love you. i love you. i love you.

true love begins when nothing is looked for in return. meeeting u was fate, becoming your fren was my choice, but falling in love with you i had no control. and one more thing. is love selfish by nature? are you selfish? hope u r... thn i will feel cherished =) fyi, i am selfsih... so u r cherished too... so am i cherished? think over e question. if u bother to read.. pls sms me to tell me whehter i am cherished anot..

Pe. Played volleyball. Me and anjhana versus shalini and patricia. Thn we won! 11 to 9. Yeah! Thn joined grace they all captain ball.. Thn very fun.. Hahas.. Lalala..

Chinese.. Did 造句. Lol. I nvr copy. Will have to photocopy pat or jess or vic or wy de.. Hahas.. Tnx.

English. Forget to bring ws AGAIN. Thn keep studying malay.

Art. Zz. Dun wan mention it. Zz. Thn someone duno too sensitive. Say wad i kaobei him.. Zz.

Geog. Do e 4 taps. Thn went off... For malay exam.. But too early le.. Lol. Excuse to have more time to eat.

Malay exam. Darn. Sux like hell. Really. Sure fail de or borderline. Sobz. Dun care le.

Lalala..I m changin my mindset. For further elab.. Go see my personal blog..

You are just like e weather.. Forever unpredictable..

I hope it is not a farce.

Please help me to break away from the past.

n tnx alot qisong.. i m nt crying le =)

Lalala... Long time no blog le.. Only 3 days. Hehe..

D/T..Practical.. Zz.. My octopus broke.. I worked alot on it lor! Not Fair!

Chinese..Erm.. Nvr listen to teacher... Doing history...

History.. Zz.. Dunnie hand up e hw.. Hell lots lor.. Shouldn't chiong.. Lol. Thn sat beside patricia.. Thn tok abt anjhana.. Thn say wad ask eugene abt anjhana.. He sure know de.. Hahas... Dunno he heard tat anot. Meant to kaobei him de.... hehe..

Science... Worst lesson. E Wenxin thing! I wan go crazy le.. Zz.. It's alright for her to know. But she like keep laughin... Zz. Dun care le... Thn dunno wad mr loh tokin abt. Lol.

Star...Do wad marketing...Erm then we went off first... Thn pat told me our grouping... Maizheng kevin anjhana n me! Good.. Hahas.. Thn pat with weiquan alvin and jessica.. Wanying Tianxiao sizhen n dunno who else.. Lol. Grouping quite nice ma.. Hehe..

Recording... Zz. My performance sux today.. Not in form today.. Zz.. I got my new wife! Whoo..So happy...So happy.. More happy then being tgt with you. Jk. Jk. You r more important =] MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL! Hahas..

Actually.. I look happy. But i dun.. Veri useless i feel. Hais..Nowadays emo is my life... It keep on pestering me.. Cant shake it off... E nightmare... Why do i suddenly have it again? Zz.. No one is there for me.. Leaving me there.. Helpless...E nightmare.. Is way too.. Painful.. E more happy i look e more painful i am.. Trying to cover up my sad... It's hard.. Or rather easy? Coz this is wad i have been doing for this two years ba.. Jus when i wan concentrate on my studies.. Zz.. Whenever i close my eyes... All i can think is of tat nightmare... Ashamed...

i am totally emoing.. =( shldnt be thinkin abt all this yet i am still emoing... i am ashamed of myself for this insecureness.... hais...

Lalala.. Blog!

Pe lesson.. Lol. Move e o.levels de table.. Quite fun? I duno.. Play volleyball.. Sux.. I tink coz my skills sux also..

Mother tongue.. E wad lin xiang ru de.. Interesting? Think so ba..

English.. Forgot bring paper .. Share with victor.. Thn he got Damn lot wrong Lol.

Geog.. Presentation. Hahas.. Weiquan rabbit. Lol. Thn xihao's group. Anti-pork.. Veri funny..Tnx eugene for lendin ur thumbdrive.. Hahas... Thn my group. Sux. Lol. I sux at everything de.

Art.. Zzzz.. Lost e file! Wth.. Thn do veri little.. Nth else le..

Geog remedial.. Hahas.. And not funny also lor.. E lesson which make me n - emo. Not really.. I dunno.. Hais.. Lol. Mr zhong suddenly ask victor is his gf important.. He say no.. Thn tat mr zhong go ask hu his gf is.. Thn veri wad lor.. Thn he ask eugene.. Thn he say no. Feel sad for his gf.. Lol. Thn also feel sad for his mum. Thn mr zhong say he can be poster boy? Hahas.. But e lesson not tat great 4 me.. In fact hate it? Idk.

Thn go see e grp of them play bball.. Thn me n wy climbed up de wall.. I overcome e fear le.. Yeah! Hahas.. Thn we tok alot alot. Expressing each other de emo. How emo we are.. Hais.. Thn i --- lor.. Shld be her.. I have no reason to.. But nvm. But really. I love e talk.. Coz i really cant tell anyone else le.. Tnx Wanying.. Say no to emo! Still i will emo..

lol. mr zhong de quesiton.. i go ask ______. he say no... ='(


Come on.. Go cry emo girl. Whatever you feel, just scream it outloud. Don't bottle it up in yourself. I mean scream to me. Not whole world la of course. Tell me. It's better than keeping it to yourself. These things.. No one can predict. It will eventually end. It's a matter of time ba.. It's jus tat e ending will come faster or slower. Maybe there's still a way out. Go reach for what you want. Love, is not something you can easily give up. As long as he didn't say there is completely no hope, there is still hope. Follow your heart. I know you are tired. But.. I also dunno wad to say.. Shld i give you hope or make u forget him? I dunno.. I myself also took a long time to get out of e nightmare. Till now, i am still not sure whether i am out of it anot. From my tears today.. I guess i.. Hais.. I dunno la... Emo. Let's hug tgt and cry tgt.

You r precious even though i may not be precious to you..

lalala.... nth to do.. sian..

thanks a lot.. to qisong and weiquan.. i mean the comments in my cbox.. tnx alot alot.. lalala...

chinese homework!!! got alot lei.. duno start frm which one first.. lol.. but i will do de... =d

ouch... yesterday my sleeping pose? erm.. ya.. wrong le.. this mornin wake up my neck cant turn to the right... WTH. really hell lor.. keep facing the left... zzzz.. hope tmr will be back to norm..

再见了，我的他。。。我又是一个人了。good bye.. My love.. I am alone again. Since the last message.. The last one.. I've been very lonely. But it is alright. Life still goes on. So.. Cheer up ^-^

no matter wad.. i will still have ______'s love.. or i wont have? duno.. but i still have KAI KAI's guardian angel.. whoo.. lalala... i am so HAPPY yet so lonely... but studies now!!! hahas...

in conclusion.. i cant think of you le... i can think but cant think too much... lalala... MY MOTIVATION.. =]

Today me Weiquan and Jinhan play bball.. No is volleyball.. Thn i was like dunno how to hit e ball? Lol. Thn when i finally hit e ball thn fly off veri far. Lols. Zzzz.. Maizheng tat gang went off first. Wan them play bball de.. Nvm. Thn after tat yiying xuejing xinren and stella joined us. Play match lor.. I so lan.. T_T Lol. Thn we jus talk lor.. Zzzz.. Thn when going home.. Weiquan ask can accompany him walk to his block. I say can lor. Lol. Thn Jinhan come along. Lol. Nvm. Those who can infer thn infer. Those who dunno wad i talkin abt thn too bad. Thn we talk abt hun lor.. When we walkin home.. But nvr say his name la.. Lol.

Hais.. Today first lesson. D/t i nvr do homework. Sorry teacher. Thn practical lor.

Thn chinese. Also nvr hand up. Hehe. Sorry cher again. Thn wad we do arhx? Textbook lor.

History. Finish e thing le. Whoo.. Thn i slept. Thn mr yeo woke me up.. Zzzz.. I really really really really tired. Stupid teacher.

Zzzz...Science. Nth la.

Hais.. Feel so empty? I dunno.. I have to put hun aside first? No. I mean after exams lor.. He shall be my motivation to study. =)

one more thing... I tmr gettin new cello! Walao.. I dun wan go star le.. I wan see my new wife. I wan chose myself. Sobz..

can anyone see how sad i am?

Hais.. I not Emoing la.. Lol. Jus thinkin my life.. Peaceful now ba.. Except for e vulgarities part.. Hahas.. Peace.. Really peace? Idk.

Whenever i get angry.. I shall jus think of cjh.. E tot of him brings me peace. My hun cant do tat coz thinkin of him makes me excited! Lol! =P whenever i am sad.. I jus think of ______'s hugs.. I will feel loved. Blessed. Thn happy le =) cant think of those huai dan.. Who make my life miserable.. Hehe..

Lalala.. Sometimes think _______ veri cold. To me. Dunno y i think this way. Lol. Mayb coz we nvr talk ba..

today.. english lesson.. e paper.. i duno how to do. anyhow do thn slp. hahas

maths. my god. so lan. 30/50. wth. sad.... thn i notice someone nvr raise hand de. din think his maths that lan. go check. wth. so high. hahas... i must jiayou for maths =D

recess... chiong geog.. and let sth slip out =P

hist.. cracking lame jokes. lol.

geog. nvr present. -.- thn dunnie chiong le ma... lol

science.. forces and pressure. and play with balloons. lol

thn CO. okay la.. tot it would be hell. nt quite nice ma. think coz i know how to play =D whoo...

thn? go jp.

thn.. now finish hist le!! whoo... hurray.. lalala..

lalala.. hun.. u hotter la.. lol.

and to someone... i duno whether appropriate anot.. but can u see the situation? they need time alone. u extra lei. tats all i have to say. reflect ba.

Lalala.. Not good day for me.. Not at all good.. Wad we do today arhx?

Chinese lesson. I forget le lei.. Nvr listen to wad teacher talkin abt. I know i bad girl. Hais..

Science lesson. I slept and slept. Sorry mr loh. But i swore i got listen u. Jus feel tired.

Maths lesson. Dunno how do whole paper. Stupid me.

English lesson. Farida tat table whole grp laughin. Thn ms vijay ask y. They say wad pronouncin Farida's chinese name. Lol. Thn we played with anjhana's name. Sorry hor. I know i totally sux. Thn kevin made e joke abt fucking this word. Hahas.. Only funny thing. He told me sth also. But i cant find e rite time u see kevin. I also dunno how to start. Hais.. Useless me.

Thn higher mt lesson. Nth. Thn went to mac do geog. Thn.. Hais.. Dun feel like sayin it here.. Scared someone will scold? I dunno..

Hais...Someone said sth today. Say tat - veri good. Thn another person say - veri bad. Hais.. Emo whole day. Useless.. Jus bcoz wad they said. Zzzz...

go my blog if u hv time hun.

i feel so inferior. useless. emos.

Lalala.. Went to jp library with hun. Lalala.. Wa.. Really hug me tight sia.. Anw i more or less knew wad u goin to do next lor.. Hahas.. I smart ma =D Lol.. Still ask me can anot. Lol. No diff if i say no. Haha. But dun mind la.. Still like e hug e best. So tight. Lol. Lucky i can breathe. Lol. My shirt all got ur smell. Lol. Hahas.. So sorry i turn down ur kiss or did u even ask for it? Sorry arhx if u did. Coz not in e mood? I duno. Lalala.. Happy.. Hahas. Loveyou. My hun rocks =D

and to --.. no one is going to replace ur place. coz u dun even have a place in my heart. lol. think too much le you.. replace.. think u have a place? lol. as a fren ya. lol. everyone has a place in my heart thn. hope i nt being too blunt. =P sorrry

lalala.. todays chem test absolutely sux. dunno a single thing... zzzz. bt i really gt study lor!! nt fair!!!

lalala.. geog do finish le.. hun finished it with me de. bt e singapore de questions we nvr do. coz we duno. hehe.. lalala...

and f la.. my cbox. zzzz. put victor.. nt scared wanying jealous. plus victor taken up by wy le.. i dun wan =P.. and jinhan.. fk off my cbox to whoever who used his name.. use ur name can.. bt use his name write those stupid gross thiings i cant take it!!! so pls fk off my cbox if u all cont to spam like this. i am damn pissed off else why would i use fk?!

lalala.. hun veri strange... or mayb all boys like that de.. lol.. also dun care.. first boy who ----... shld feel honoured.. hahahas... bt dun do that nxt time le la.. u that desp meh? no rite? hahas.. hope i nt being too blunt... lalala..

Phew.. so damn happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy.. he replied to my email!!! He did e survey and he say he nt angry!! Whoo.. this is enough.. lalala.. I am over the moon.. yeah! So happy… lalala… he is nt angry!!! Lalalalala.. I shall be happy whole day =D i lvoe kai kai. dun be jealous hun =D i love u too

i am bored!!! nt going to do any hw.. yeah..

whoo... looking forward to tmr. i miss my hun. i love you hun =D lalala.. i am still angry fyi.. so must really hug me tight tight.. plus.. the kiss.. sun qi zi ran ba.. =D bt i think abit too fast lor.. lol... lalala.. my fourth one.. dun think is my last one.. but unlike the previous 3.. this time.. i dun care when are we going to break le.. think too much will get too suffocated de.. for the time being.. i shall jus concnetrate on loving you. loveyou hun...

whoo.. damn sian.. lalala.. jus nw chatted with this guy called tze chong. nice guy? dunno. 6R de. lol..

QISONG ROCKS! dun be jealous hun

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHIHUI!!!


lalala.. to that love-you.. my hun is the best =D

wad did i do yesterday arhx? stayed at home. sian. did nth. lol. and good . victor.. u finally send me the questions le. lol. will start today ba.. will finish de. tnx to jinhan who send me the things though i cant open it but tnx. and to tianxiao, i did not recieve. but thanks anw.

biggest THANKS to my hun. hahas. nice ppt. lol. i wont copy de la. just see see only. but i will copy c---- de ba. hehe. tnx alot hun. loveyou =D btw, invite you le. feel honoured. lol. all i can thinks of is your hug hun. hold me tight. coz i dun wan you to run away too. but u wan run mus inform me first lei. hahas. i really veri veri insecured. for no reasons. hahahas.. hun.. better hold ur baby tight. coz she wants you to do so. plus this way she knows you are with her. you are my hun and i am your baby. thanks again for ur info.

no one else can give me warmth le. i mean till my hun stops holding me tight. lol. he is e only one i need e hugs from... lalalala...

to weiquan : soory arhx.. cant tell you.
to jinhan: you cant help me.

LOL. feel so blessed yet so insecured.

Now there's another path. The fifth path. I decided to take this last path. It is possible to go to e other 4 paths to. So i took e 5th path! Hahas.. Lalala..

Decided not to use vulgar le.. Readin from Jinhan's blog supposedly is directin at me ba.. Thn i dun use le lor.. I veri guai de.. To scold a person dunnie use vulgar de.. Lol. Hahas.

Lol. Today went to mac with vic and wy. Thn we saw mr chong and this female cher, miss lee. Wa.. Thn we joke abt both of them. Thn miss led offer to drive us back to sch. Lol. Thn we were ABOUT to say he and her.. Before we can say, he like les explainin they jus frens. ROAR! Lol. Hahas.. Mr chong you 心虚. Lol!

And TNX for your hug.. Lol. Quite shocked.. Tot you jus Jk de.. Lalala.. Hahas.. Alot girls sure wanna be in my place de and alot boys sure wan be in your place de. Jk. Jk. Jk. Lol. Lol. Lol. I guess this is the hug i wan? Lol. Quite natural ma.. Haha. And true your hug make me happy. Give me warmth sia.. But how can you be sure he nvr make me happy lei?but your hu is the best! =) lalala =p Let's be hot at e staircase. Jk. =D

Went to jurong ville sec. Okay la.. A bit sian.. I veri sad. Sad and sad. Nvr see CHONG JUN HAO. Sobz. So sad. Chong jun hao rocks! Whoo. Lol. I miss him lor.. But nvm.

Am i falling into another trap? No. Lol. Anw not trap ma.. Sad. I nvr fall for you. Lol. Dun be sad. And Lalala.. I kinda betrayed - and - hor. Lol.

All these mess.. Ya.. She is rite. He is rite. They are rite. I am e root of all these mess. Like i wan. But prob is how to clear up these mess arhx? Can i jus kill myself?

come on hun.. i need warmth.. but you're not here with me. sad. but at least your hug is still with me. e only thing that adds warmth to my emo world is your hug.. i wan more.. hahas.. kinda addicted le? duno

sicked and tired of all these nonsense.
can anyone jus give me a hug?
come on hun.
i am falling.
pull me up.

Lalala.. Bored. I miss u. I miss u. I miss u. I miss u. I miss u. Hahas. No la. I miss ur bro n u miss my sis. Hahas.

Broke down yesterdayt. I really miss them, Really. I wan see them. But cant. I dun mind this. Then i still get scolding. Hais..Then broke down. Then( cant tell). Then go out of school. Walked to jurong green park on the way did some washin of face. In a day, I found out so much things. Dunno why make me so sad. Nvm.

I found myself today. I am ugly stupid petty irresponsible. Quite actually.. So glad i found myself.. Thanks.. Thanks god for lettin me know the truth. How alot ppl hates me.. And finally sed someone down to tell me this fact..Actually to clarify.. I knew it long ago le.

Can i be a ghost thn back to myself.. I wanna know wat he, she, they thinkin.. I wan to know. Then after knowing, i wan go back to eemin. Then make some decisions.. Can ma? Please.. Though i know wad others are thinkin.. I mean tat i petty irresponsible.. Ect. But i wan to know more. I veri greedy de.. Can let me greedy? And being a ghost i dun have to.

Restrict myself. I can say anythin i like without hurtin anyone. I can be flirt. Can like up to 10 ppl at one time.

Can anyone guide me to become a shamless bitch? A veri shameless de.. Someone told me need looks.. Wa..Then forget it.. Cant make it de..Lol. Let's say hello to autistic. World of autistic. Zzzz..Gettin emoier...Not going to reply to any sms except for 5ppl de. Sorry to e others.

I am going crazy le..Dunno y those things make me sad. Jealous? Tat they can be so close?My business? Lol. Tat's why i said i siao le. Can anyone report me to woodbrige hosp? Or at least talk to me. Counsel me. To prevent me from losin my mind.

I am really... Gone case le.. Stupid... Shhh.. Sit up.. I wan e voice in my head to shut uo, Shut uo, Shut up. So.. SIlence. Silence. Silence myself!

I WILL PROVE MY LOVE!!! WHOO.. I LOVE YOU.. I LOVE YOU.. I LOVE YOU..

at the thought of seeing you tmr.. hais.. i am so happy...

and to tat cold blooded creature... lookin 4ward goin to m----- with u... and sad lor.. can i bring ur girls along too? lol... ltr disturb our er ren shi jie. jk. jk but so sian.. have to wait till sept hols. wanna noe you better ma... feel like mentioning you name.. but can i? ltr yor girls come hacking e with knife. zzzzz.... and cant sms you le.. hp no money le... zzzzzz... not like you creature.. got 500 free mgs...

and lalala..

still so happy over the first msg i saw when i woke up. but i not les la...

and damn pissed off.. invation of my priacy... and decided not to use vulger le..

hais... which path should i take? to him.. not possible le.. to you.. maybe.. but dun wanna cary hope.. to him.. hais.. i cant jus betray my fren... and the last one.. i will behappy de.. jus a matter of how i look at it..

rain rain, rain, rain heal my heart that is broken apartrain, rain, rain up above from the skiesrain, rain, rain pour here and clean my soulrain, rain, rain there will be rain here, there will be rain thererain, rain, rain wash away my pain rain, rain, rain wash away my debts to pay rain, rain, rain so tired i felt wash away my guiltrain, rain i will do anything for you to cover my tears of shame

it took me one month to get oer wad X said. and once agian Z did sth i think it will be permanent.. cheap. wat i think of day and night is cheap. hais.. please... who cn help me? can anyone volunteer to help me?

BLANK = _____ you?

and to u-noe-hu-u-r... do you really think my blog posts are fake? think again.. dun think you noe everything!!!

i will prove my love de.

whoo.. feeling so hyper now.. firs msg i saw when i woke up.. good night best sister.. then i love you best sister too.. hahas....

hmm.. wat did i do yesterday arhx? morning go down buy instant noodles, tuna and sardine.. thn tell my sis to cook for me =p hahas.. thanks.. thn wait for my aby to come back from her watever gifted exam.. thn turned out that ming sian's dad brought her home.. sadded.. not ming sian himself.. lol.. but to think if it, i saw his bro and really looks like him. hahas.. but his vro cuter.. and damn skiny de lor.. anorexia? lol..

thn my sis went out to celebrated her bdae.. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY PIG!! hahas.. thn thanks to wanying and patricia.. the birthday wishes.. hahas.... thn after that went to imm.. bought some clothes.. damn pretty de.. whoo..

thn come back home and sleep...zzzzzz

hais.. ltr going to pat's hse to do eng project.. lalala.. i wont be late de... coz i dont wan be ah ma.. lol...

Life desires love
Love hires life
Love inspires life
Life expires love
Life recreates love
Love creates life
Love impresses life
Life expresses love
Life tires love
Love fires life
So what?
Why so many lives lost for love?
Was there any love lost for life?
so, would my love die for me?

lalalala....

zzz. yesterday scolded a lot of f***.. so unlike me? i dunno. coz yesterday i veri pissed off ma.. reminded of sth that made me heve panda eyes.. -.-. stupid sia.. sorry anjhana for elbowing you.. really sorry.. i guess i dont wan to be reminded of that idiotic idiot. hope it does not hurt now.


walao.. cant beleive mf said tat to her lor.. veri bastard lei.. how could mf said that?! asshole. i am sure mf didnt do tat lor.. i mean reggarding mf to---ing it lor.. wtf... mf is just way too.. erm.. lecher? i think a sex maniac lor.. phew.. luckily i dont like mf.. or else.. i would have alr jumped off the building. i am so pissed off. what would ppl think of me? cheap. thanks to that bitch/bastard. the moment i think abt it.. i am going crazy le. how can mf fabricated lies? especially such lies! mf tot he did that but he didnt. asshole. i am now really feel like killing mf le.

hais.. lookin forward to spet hols.. so i can know him better ma.. tat cold cold creature =P.. hahas...

i am feelin veri vexed now. i have 4 paths to chose. ehich way should i go? is there a way where i can go 4 ways. one of the ways is very easy de.. sure will be happy de.. the other one.. sure not happy de.. but i like it.. the other one is close to me de... but not sure whether i can be happy. the last o0ne.. is always where i have been. or i dunno. hais.. hahas.. but i will still be happy de. till i chose the path.. i will be happy-go-lucky de =)

I WILL PROVE MY LOVE DE!!! =)

One of these days you'll look back to see...that I was always there but you were never there for me.
One of these days your heart will start to ache...then you'll realize there was a risk you needed to take.
One of these days you'll look around for me...I will be gone but I am yours eternally.
One of these days the thought will be too much to bear...just say you love me and I'll be there.



lalalala..... bored.. or lame.. wat time now arhx? yup. 6am. need go to school le... zzzz. getting back dnt results today... whooo.. siao liao... wonder what blows will i get today in school? bye..

I WILL PROVE MY LOVE DE!!! HAHAS =)

当我看到她，没有低头地走着。。我感到很愉快!!!当我看到他，只能低头地走着。。因为没脸见他吗？我不知道。。。很烦啊！！！ 当我看到他们时，都只能低头地走着。。因为没脸见他们吗？我不知道。。。很烦啊！！！

lalalala... got back results today.. a change... but also veri lan de.. but nvm de.. i can do better de.. next time round.. rock on girl.. my hist 11/20. tmr getting back dnt.. sure lan dao siao de... anything else.. nth le.. then today CO.. hais... i reflected alot le...

I WILL PROVE MY LOVE DE!!! I AM SINCERE!!!

hahas... lol... and nth else le? i am emo enough le.. and today.. terribly that unhappy.. but decided that life stills goes on... so cheer up.. remember.. i still haave to go out with ------ de.. hahas.. hope that it is not a joke of ------.



lalala... got back our resluts le!!! whoooo.... geog:11/20 maths:12/20 hmt:36/50... zzzzz.... all so lan... only hmt i think can pass... the other too... hais.... my results dropped so drastically... i am so... so... dunno... motivated? hahas....

i saw her today. or was it her? why didnt i dare to look up at her? why? tot i had put it down? hais... but still no face to seee de...

当我看到她，只能低头地走着。。因为没脸见她吗？我不知道。。。很烦啊！！！当我看到他，只能低头地走着。。因为没脸见他吗？我不知道。。。很烦啊！！！ 当我看到他们时，都只能低头地走着。。因为没脸见他们吗？我不知道。。。很烦啊！！！

today i fought with my stomach. a battle. which landed me now very tired le... tmmd.

can i really dun mind? like what X told me? i cant. does Y really want to lose me? i dunno. hais..

and tat Z.. told the story to more ppl le i think... X!!! how can i not mind?!

我很痛。。全身痛。。肚子痛。。 心也痛。。who is there? my bells... hais... too suffocated le.. no one to talk to...

i decided le.. TODAY SHALL BE THE DEADLINE!!! coz i cant tak it anymore. will i be able to do it? yeS

EEEEEEEEMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNN............... UUUUUUUUUUU CAAAAAAAAAAAN DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!! all the best girl. single rocks.

please. i dun need anyone to love me. and i am not going to accept anyone!

zzzzzzzzzz............. dunno how to study for d/t. need memorise so many things de. die le. lets flunk with geog okay? and lit too.. dunno why not enthu le. abt studies. like the enthu die le. now this is trouble. hahas.

i shall not open my heart.
not for anyone.
not for you.
let it be a city.
abandoned city.
lonely city.
full of hatred?
i dont know.
but thanks.
really thank you.

hais... the road infront shall be lonely.. it is painful..but no choice le.. no one there... i can take it de. can de. belive me. dun go with anyone. lest i get hurt. so... rock on your life girl.. for now on..

BLANK = ________

it shall just be like this. okays? come on. jiayous. jiayous. jiayous. jiayous.

I SO HAPPY. =) my fisrst kiss taken up. those who know shut up. to you. soory. the first kiss is not meant for you. to you. haha. too bad. he wont have done it to you. too bad. and to you. i give my second kiss to you la.. hahas.....

so happy again. ---- said ----------- to me. oh my god. but what difference does it makes? nothing. i will still try the method de =) hahas.. scared you sad maz.. jk. jk.

got back common test results today. chinese. 38/50. 2/20. zzzz.. so ... happy=) hahaha... then more s-------.. hahas.. hais.... today's maths.. zzz. fail not surprise... geog also.. sure fail de.. but nvm.. hahahahahaha.... lalalalaalallaalalalalalal.....

emo.

i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate yo i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. iu. i hate her. i hate him. hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him. i hate her. i hate him. i hate you. i hate you. i hate her. i hate him.

they make me laugh. true. but bring lots of misery too... zzzzz.....

thanks. to tianxiao. qisong. audrey. i wont eat le. hahass. i go eat nuts. =P hahas.


3 more weeks!!!

sigh... i think i am a crybaby? wtf. i locked my sim card again!!! 3rd time le.. 3rd time le!!! i.. hais.. also dun noe why i cry bcoz my sim card get locked? why arhx? stop thinking le. please. this is drivin me crazy. stooooooooooooppppppppppppppppppppp. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH.. i am going crazy.... once again.. please. stop. stop. stop. stop. stop. stop. stop. stop. okay. stop. stop. stop. stop. hais.. got my self into trouble again... this trouble again. the sim card trouble make me realise that i got into another trouble without knowing it. i promised, and i prayed not to get into trouble at least not in trouble for 1 month. but.. hais.. or at least let me get into truoble 3 weeks later... zzzzz..... please... okay.. i am going to stop getin into trouble le... i will stop now.

once again,
mess i got into.
hais.
so ashamed.
of myself.
hais.
i hate this.
troubles is all i can get.
but no one to help now.
no one le.
no one le.
i am in pain.


the dream. hais. so dissapointed with myself. to let a dream control me. SHUT UP DREAM> SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! i am sad.

why did i have that dream? does it bear any significance? or is it a case of me being too ---? my god. the first part is nice but the second part is tragic. hais.. XXXX left anyway. enough of this absurd dream.

bored bored and bored. or alse why woould i be blogging here now? hais.. tmr stuck at hoem.. with my sister... zzzz... -.- but will revise la.. lost my geog notes!! walao.. going crazy le... no notes to study. never go out de.. 'cept yesterday go chinatown eat. only food nice and nth le.. sianx..

put your name more wor? hmmm.. how? hahas. sure cant complete my second wish de.. lol. lookin forward to 3 weeks more. whoo.. really ma? really be there? to help me continue the peace now?lets see. later bluffing me... >.< and nice conversation with ---- i pieced the whole conversation up. then keep laughing. or was it not suppposed to be funny? but thanks anyway.

the dream..
hais..
so nice..
but forget it.
impossible.

- audrey: thanks. and dun tell anyone hor =) and soory to let others have the bad impression of you.



sigh... nth to do. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE. :) watching olympic games jus now. netball and volleyball. so fun it seems. now chionging to study. thanks for your ****. hahas. next week common test le.. hais.. dun noe wat will hppen to my results.. hope is positive.. if not i sure get scoldin de.. everyday never study only watch tv.. zzzz...

how can he not believe me?
to think i tot that he is my fren
nvm.. i am not gooing to tell him the truth anyways.
sabo for all i care.
my life is that wretched anyway.

whoo.. tmr is olympic games. yeah. erm, why am i cheering? hahs no link de. but sian, tmr jss not havin any celebrations. only soem boring talk ba i guess. sian. hmmm, did i change? i mean in the past if wy never go CO, i wont go de. now? i went. and lucky i went. firstly, i learnt alot. secondly, i will get into deep trouble if i nv go. hahas. they tot sth serious but just a false alarm. hahahaha. cant believe. laugh till stomach pain le. =) then today got star. tired tired and tired. then the miss nadiah.. think her hair looks funny. no offence

my blank? ____ sms me! the person who sms me and discuss with me ___ shall be my blank =p coz i am pretty sure who is it. hopin who the person should be. only him and him.

i cant stop hating you. but still cant stop falling for you. god. my life is in a mess. totaly mess. hais. but i promised him not to think le. and i will do it. thats my motivation. i wont think le. i wont think le. i am lookin forward to the next few weeksw. when i can give him a treat =p.

decided to post sth.. due to some comments that says i only post emo posts which is true la..

hmmm. had oral yesterday.. nice topic.. i mean i thought it would be much difficult or so.. but it isnt considered as cheating right? lol. and today is the deadline for chem model. now here am i finishing up the last of the model.. xP.. suddenly think i veri smart.. i am anyway.. hahas.. and jus live your life like a xiao hai zi. can we do that?

blah blah blah.. nth to post.. hmm.. jiayous to victor and wanying? haha.. okay then.. VICTOR and WANYING JIAYOU! sian.. and stupid maths test! i got only 10.5! and lol.. surprisingly.. the top were: asher and victor:19. followed by maizheng.18.5. then eugene:15. sad for her. you know who you are.

-what's on the surface may not be the truth..

YO! i feel real hyper now... whooo! me and wanying sort things out le.. yeah.. finally.. thanks guys.. to patricia....tianxiao...audrey...jessica...blah blah and kevin the gang too(+ vic)... both of us agreed that we should have another group of frens.. so.. i guess that's it...

TO VICTOR: PLEASE DONT FEEL GUILTY.. I DONT BLAME YOU... AND THINGS ARE ALRITE NOW...

TO PPL WHO HAD CHEERED/HELPED ME: I LOVE YOU GUYS.

TO KEVIN THEIR GANG: HAVE A GRAT TIME WITH WANYING.. LOL...

WHOOOO.... feel so happy.. i deleted those emo posts le....


i look like i had flown the kite well. but no. in fact, i don't noe. now, i am even not sure of how a kite is.the problem does not lies with the string. but the kite. or me. with the kite broken, i need to have skills to fly it well. but i can't. no choice, but i had to act and look like the kite is soaring in the air.

I have decided to let go. I mean he will remain in my heart. Should the day he love me come, i would like him still. I will wait. I really have to thank. It really make me grow up. I know how to protect myself too. I know tat something can't be forced. What is mine will be mine. I have to face it. Let's be practical. Although i am sad. i have to stop myself. Thinking this way helps. If he's not mine, even if i get him, he will eventually leave me. Let's wait for mr.forever Mr.Forever! I am still waiting....

(so sorry.. i have to delete this part due to the PG contents..haha)

If i have to make you love me,tat means you love me because of my body.Or watever. You only had eyes for her.Don't test my patience. You had tricked me so many times tat you like me and i tolerated it always. I feel EVEN MORE IDIOTIC than you. TAT I FALL FOR YOU.that i BELIEVED tat YOU WOULD LOVE ME FOREVER. I was wrong. Idiot,I am the idiot.

Guys are bastards..But nevermind..Ileep feeling tat god is always playing tricks with me..He sent me the angel erm for how many times arh? Erm three times liao leh..I am so tired..Tired of changing.. I was about to change.. For him.. I don't like tat person now. It's true. But wat's the use? I accepted you but then it became like this.. And now i can't like tat person back.. You can i can't.I am hurt.Deeply hurt. Ifelt the pain i had felt last year.It was tat painful. I am very disappointed. I am the idiots of the idiots. No one to hug me le.Come on.. SOmeone kill me now.

如果真诚是一种伤害，请选择谎言。
如果谎言是一种伤害，请选择沉默。
如果沉默是一种伤害，请选择离开。
如果离开是一种伤害，请不要靠近。





我宁愿什么都不懂。
不听不想不闻不问。
没有伤害和背叛，当然，也没有离别的忧愁。
时间改变了一切。
你不再是你，而我也不再是我。

i feel so blissful.. sigh.. hahaha.. found out sth today.. can i say it outloud? yep. they did not argue. ADELENE and JINHAN birthdate the same!!! hahaha... april 22 1994. 这就叫做缘分。。。so they two everday quarrel will quarrel till become hmm... that type of relationship? hahaha.. em dúvidas, eu decidi não dizer hoje qualquer coisa… mas eu decidi dizer algo depois que tudo… boa vinda! a meu mundo! eu começ um irmão novo!!!

got practice today.. tianxiao left earlier today.. i am so scared.. that mr wong will pick on cello. but luckily, i played well enough.. phew..

you mean a lot to me.. i love you

i think this is quite interesting.. i learned a lot but never seemed to learn it anyway.
Jealousy
- contains more of self-love than of love
- fear of comparison
- grievous passion that jealously seeks what causes grief
- dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive
- involves the loss or the impending loss of a relationship that one wants to hold onto, a relationship that is vital to personal fulfillment and claimed as one's own.

and lastly...
In contrast with envy, which usually occurs between two people and is focused upon another person's qualities or possessions, jealousy occurs when a third person becomes a threat to a dyad.

i am so sad... i don't like people to scold vulgar at me... especially jinhan... it was not me!!! it was me!!! that was what you believed.. and continue to believe that.. you are right and i am wrong. fine, i shall shut my fuck up lameshit. and with my ji bai eyes.. i shall see that you are tying to get your fucking sleep. of course i know that! i want to sleep too.. and yeah.. i m an asshoel. i shall get my motherfucking messages out of your sight! and i know i very annoying too... i understand... you said that you are scoldin my sister but in the first place.. you already demand the person is me. hence, the conclusion is that the words is directed at me! i am not angry really. but i am sad. very sad. because something happened yesterday and you had to add on to it.. i reflected and think that i am indeed very annoying.hmmm...

for you, i am willing to give up eveything. really. i don't want to spoil our friendship because of this. i held tightly to your hand but it slipped away. indon't want this to happen. unless you want it to happen too. i am not good at all. in fact, i can't be any worser. don't be jealous of me. things don't appear what it should be. the truth is always blinded. i really love you. i had hoped that we can be the best friend of the best friends till old. really. it has been 5 and 1/2 years already.. i want this 缘分to last for infinity. 나는 단지 그들 둘 다합니다. 아니면, 적어도 나 하나를위한 떠날합니다. 아주 많이 나는 그들에게 의존하고있습니다. 부탁 드려요. 특히 개. 으로 돼지, 나는 그에게 너무 의존합니다. 하지만 그는 항상 날 아프게합니다.

što sam na početku, kao što ste Vi. Vaša je pogriješila. možda ne. ali ja ne želite, kao što ste Vi. ste dobri. ali ti joj samo ljubav

나는 누구지를… 기다리고 있는가 기다리고 기다리기? 존재하지 않는 누군가. 흐느낌… 나는 피로하다. 피로하고 그리고 피로하다…ich habe nie auf Ihnen… it' aufgegeben; s Sie, das aufgab…apenas queira ser com você.

just now was all the emo stuf.. now.. still emo stufff.. lol.

a lot of things happen in this three days. fri,sat and sun. wow, should i ay interesting or wat? nope. it's neutral. god is playing tricks on me. i tot that he had finally given me an angel but then after giving it to me, god suddenly said that he gave to the wrong person liao... walao.. not that i expecting anything.. but shouldn't have played the prank on me.. jus when i really needed someone there for me.. i realise that i have only one fate.. i hate this fate... all bcoz of YOU! if not, i wouldn't have tot of anyting else.. i cant blive it.. zzzzz... is this fate meant tat i am good or that i am bad? i tink bad. bad enough only to have this fate.. absoluely crazy.. but its true lah.. guess i have to admit it... resign ot this fate...

what is mine will be mine.. don't be possesive.. learn to let go.. he's not mine anyway..

就在等人来爱我。。。我爱累了。。我以为能摆脱着阴隐。。当还是空欢喜一场。。。这是命中注定的。。注定的。。抱我吧。。



她就这样的放开了手。。不要这样嘛。。。。哭泣。。。。我一直紧紧地抓住她的手。。当她还是把手拉走了。。因为他。。那在现实生活中。。他会不会也抢走我的她？烦啊。。烦啊。。

This is for people who are emoing like me... but don’t expect me to follow it hor..
曾经以为幸福就是永远的快乐。后来渐渐明白，原来上天给你多少，是幸；而你究竟懂得多少，是福！明天不一定更好但更好的明天一定会来到。。。祝福你！^^

i just came up with an analogy.. blive it or not.. I find that it is quite true..

等待。。。肯定是等待好的或是自己要的。没有人会用‘等’来形容自己不要的东西。人生有许多‘等待’，但我不知不觉没有等待了。很想等待，但不能确认可以等待。。。到底何时才会有人叫我等呢？

还能相信吗？该相信。不该。该。不该。该。不。。。花瓣全都落了。心里一直反复地问。不是吗？现在的信托，往往都是闹剧一场。人心是所有共同的敌。因为无法猜测。因为太丑陋了。因为时时都在改变。世上唯一没改变的就是改变。随着岁月流逝，就连亲情也是人类的卒子。

Decide to post eveything.. every thought that I wish to say put loud!!!

常言说，一把钥匙开一把锁，人家的钥匙开不了自家的门。在感受快乐、与人沟通、探索奥秘、克服困难、实现理想等过程中，人们终究能找到适合自己的途径和方式。相信吧，总有一把钥匙属于自己.

But then on second thoughts, don’t want to do so.. real idiotic if I really do that…

can i turn back the clock? zzz... i regret.. so much. so, please can we go back in time? then i would not have chosen this path.

他妈妈的。damn angry . yesterday. stupid bloddy teacher. don't want to let us do our own things.. i heard sth today.. : 'bastard! 叫她名就够了吗!' hahaha.... should i? 冷笑。sad case lah.. still so emo about sci group cause i never get into the same grp as people i wan...TAT...tmr PE...emo liao lor.
but den luckyly got wenxin...and my babe(ruthy~)

lalalalalalalalalala~ 终于到了这一天，无法避免。

ok.. going to post some pictures.. but think jin han gonna kill me.. anyway he posed for the pic...

Yo! Yesterday’s was wanying’s birthday... HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! Went to Mac to eat lunch.. then jessica got really angry? Ok.ok. promise you a big big christmas present.. J also found out then that jing rui got scolded bcoz of us… .. SORRY.. it seems that I am practically saying soory at alternate posts…

Life seems to be going to the correct places.. SEEMS.. but maybe not.. I am currently going through… erm.. “zhi liao”… actually, there’s nth wrong in liking a person.. its just the way you get the person. Not through underhand means.. I totally agree with him but actually, he should have not done that. Is he really that desperate for love? Or rather girls?

I hate whoever who made me lose my ‘job’ in the musical!!! Arg! Berserk! I would have hated it more. Just when I am preparing myself to dedicate to co, then it disrupt my way.

Get on your feet, girl. Would anyone tell me that? Emos, emos, emos..

rain,rain and rain my world
forever raining
when can it shine
or is it forever raining
no shine only rain,
where is the rainbow
the rainbow in my dream
so, where is the shine
the shine in their worlds
bad, bad guys
why do u have to do this to me
in this clear dark sky
or rather dark world
a storm is quietly brewing
a sad instead of angry storm
sad at what is happening
what is happening to me
to my world,
where is the rainbow
the rainbow that dissappeared from my dream
so, where is the shine
the shine after rain in the story
the rainbow decided not to date me
the shine rejected me
nevermind, i still had lots more
fear, darkness, loneliness, troubles...
lots more..
slowly, i am used to them
please pull me out of it
before i love them...

my literature suxs…

life is like that... get over it. and accept it.





just created a new blog. again. haha. this time, i am 'settling down'. kinda feel so sad that i wasted my last blogs... zzzz.. please tag.... to start off.. here's a quiz:
1. Honestly, whats on your mind right now? ms koh
2. Honestly, what color is your underwear? damn.. why should i tell you?!
3. Honestly, what are you doing right now? answering this quiz
4. Honestly, what did you do today? what i normally do
6. Honestly, have you done something bad today? no and yes.. i am doing one now
7. Honestly, do you watch disney channel? yes!!
8. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? yes.. you!
9. Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time? you~!
11. Honestly, what is your mood right now? emo..
12.Honestly, have you had an eating disorder? i am healthy! unlike you!
13. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very minute? yes.. u-noe-hu
14. Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret? too dark.. want to know? cal this number: 999
16. Honestly, do you hate someone right now? obvious!!!
17. Honestly, who/what do you want to hug right now? do you want to hug me?
18. Honestly, are you loyal? ....
19. Honestly, are you in denial? ....
20. Honestly, wouldn't you rather be having sex right now? i had better things to do..
21. Honestly, who is your best friend? obviously.. i am fair
22. Honestly, have you ever consumed alcohol? yes.. did sth wrong too.. jk.jk. no.
23. Honestly, do you like someone? past: yes. now: no
24. Honestly, does anyone like you? siao arh.. i wish i could know too.. but don't think got..
25. Honestly, is it going anywhere with them? don't understand
26. Honestly, did you answer all these questions honestly? no..yes.. for this question i wasn't honest :)

wish to post further on.. but i was chased away by a rat/panda/tigeress/hu li jing cum her..